Posts Tagged ‘game’

Why does your mind go blank in front of a hot girl?

Have you even been in the situation where you walk up to a hot girl and your mind goes completely blank, only to think of the best thing to say once you have left? If this is something you have experienced then you are in good company. There is not one guy I know who that this has not happened to the in the past. This post is about why it happens and the steps you can take to prevent it from happening from you in the future.

Our brains are wired and designed for survival, especially the male brain. There are two basic parts to the brain, the cerebral cortex (the outer part of the brain) and the R complex (the inner and oldest part of the brain). We take in information through our senses and this then activates the cerebral cortex for thought or the R complex for movement. When both parts of the brain work in synchronicity they we have both thought and movement, meaning we can react to situations whilst also thinking and rationalising about it giving you options in a situation.

When both parts of the brain are working in sync all is well, however depending on the situations and stimulus, only one part of the brain often reacts. When just the cerebral cortex works alone then all you have is thought and day dreaming. When just the R complex is activated then it produces emotional and physical reactions, this is how fears and phobias are structured. Thinking without movement and reaction without thinking are both critical for survival but it can leave us in trouble when we need to do the exact opposite.

So what makes the inner and emotional brain react without communicating with the cerebral cortex? The answer is fear, or at least perceived fear. When there is a perceived threat the brain switches to survival mode, by this I mean R complex is activated. Our speech centers are not directly linked with the R complex, so when you are reacting to survive, you literally cut off your access to your cerebral cortex to think and speak. When the perceived threat is past i.e. when the hot girl goes, then the brain starts to work in synchronicity again and you once again get access to thought and speech. So when in danger your mind goes blank, when in a relaxed state you have proper access to thought and speech.

 So what does all this neuroscience nonsense mean and how can it actually help you? Put it like this, when you are with your friends or family do you ever run out of things to say? Usually not, the reason because you know there is not a perceived threat from them and usually you actually have things to talk about. There are two areas you need to work on, firstly you need to learn how to be more relaxed when talking to girls, secondly you need to improve your conversation skills and have something to talk about.

Let us take the first part of the solution, becoming more relaxed when talking to girls, or as some of you guys call it “being in set”. The advice to be more relaxed when talking to girls is about as helpful as when girls say “just be confident” or “just be yourself”. If you have not had much success with women or not that great at talking to people in general, then making cold approaches to hot girls is going to create a lot of anxiety and fear.

Most guys who get into game want to be able to walk up and seduce any girl, anytime, anywhere, but this takes a lot of skill and practice. If you have problems striking up a conversation with a man or a women you do not fancy in the queue for the bus, then you are going to have real problems talking to girls you do like. The truth is that you can not be good with hot girls if you are not great with all people. Guys who are naturally good with women always tend to be with all people!

My area of work is helping guys reduce anxiety when talking with women and build self esteem, unfortunately I can not get to the bottom of your issues in a blog post but I can give you some tips to improve your success. Follow these three simple guidelines and I guarantee that you will have improved success with girls and people in general.

1) Start to make small talk with more people. If you work in an office make a conscious effort to speak to more people, even it is just asking them about their weekend. Try to elicit good emotions, memories and feeling from people and not bad ones. For example if it has rained all weekend and on the Monday morning in work, do not moan about the weather. Instead ask them what good things they did and take it from there.

2) Create mutual rapport with people. Walking up to a girl cold without knowing anything about her is hard, so instead go to events, clubs, societies, meetings, classes or anything thing where you have shared interests with others. When you have something else to focus on it shifts the pressure off you and therefore your mind is less likely to go blank. Try www.meetup.com and find local interest groups and go! I personally attend a range of events from hypnosis meetups to internet marketing workshops. Speaking to someone at a meetup where you have shared interests is so easy and effortless.

3) Do your research and have things to talk about. Recently I meet up with a girl who is really into promoting stand-up comedy events. Before I went to meet her I simply did a quick check on google news to see what was happening in the comedy world. That week Frankie Boyle had been in trouble over making some offensive jokes about the queen, Michael McIntyre has just announced he was going to tour the UK and play the O2 arena and BBC3 were launching a new program all about new stand-up comedians. From less than 2 minutes work I had 3 solid things I could talk about and get her opinions on.

Remember that you want to elicit good memories with people and make them feel good in your company. People like each other for the way they make them feel, so become good at making people feel good about themselves. By this I do not mean suck up to people, instead get them access long term memories. For example with the girl who was into stand-up comedy some questions I asked her included; do you remember the first joke you ever heard, who is your favorite comedian and why, what are some of the best gigs you have gone to, what is the best part about running comedy nights, who would you most like to perform at your gigs etc etc.

I hope that you have found this information useful and they you go out and try it. I would love to hear how you get on, please feel free to drop me an email at hypnomatt@puatraining.com. If you are still getting approach anxiety or your mind keeps going blank, then I am available in London for 1-2-1 sessions. I am a fully qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and I specialise in working with guys to help improve their inner game

Matt Kendall AKA HypnoMatt
PUATraining Master Trainer and Clinical Hypnotherapist

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Click on link above for the video ;-)

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hey guys

first of all , I appologise that  for the fact that I have not been posting on here for a while now,

this is not because I have been a lazy bitch, it’s  because I have been a busy bitch.

I have been travelling to some amazing places around the world, and when Im not doing that, then I’m busy with students, bootcamps and seminars (and now to add to the work load, a book!)

Out of all the places I went to,I thought Japan was paticularly  very interesting, and whilst there, I had the oppertunity to meet Tokyo’s number 1 pick up artist (I think there are only 3 in the whole of Japan) his name was Lemmy, and this guy had a queue of woman wanting to have their photos taken with him, so I presumed that he was a pop star or an  actor, but someone who I was with, who had been living in Tokyo for 8 years, informed  me that this guy was “a well known seducer” ,in english that means  A PICK UP ARTIST

Being a curious girl,I went over to him, and began chatting (photo below). His english was TERRIBLE, but at least  it was a bit better than my japanese.

But despite the language barrier, I could work out what the woman saw in him. He was using a technique I had never seen before, but it was very captivitaing and it had me wanting to hold his hand.(I dont like even shaking hands with strangers let alone holding them). Any way, it was cool to see a new  non-verbal technique and I will be adding this one to my book. As with some other techniques I have witnessed varying from country to country.

Let me get back to the point of this post.

 I am going to be doing video in a couple of weeks, and I would like your assistance. I will be answering three questions that will be chosen in around 10 days, 

If you have any questions at all, (and please make them original, it’s more fun that way)then please send them to me either on here, or to

kezia.music@gmail.com

kezia@puatraining.com

facebook”kezia Noble” add me.

or 

www.myspace.com/kezia_pua

I will pick the three questions within 10 days and will answer them on the new video

look forward to hearing your questions, no matter how bizarre or how common they are

Peace

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Step 5: Pre-approach

“The man who makes chemistry understands the interaction starts before a word has been spoken or eyes have even met”

Pre approach is the little few minutes or sometimes few seconds you have before the interaction begins, and boy oh boy aren’t those few seconds important. In this section we will be looking at how you can get yourself in the appropriate state before talking to a woman and how to prepare your self in terms of logistics. You will learn how to assess the situation in a manner that will be discreet. You will also learn how to extinguish any niggling doubts and last second nerves that even the best pick up artists get from time to time, but most importantly you will learn the art of never becoming outcome depending ever again.

This week we will be looking at..

Assessing the situation

Women are masters of this art! We are watching everything. We know who is coming through that door and who is leaving, we know whether the guy we like the look of is popular, has a girlfriend or is gay very early on, just by discreetly looking at him. We have the skill of  “assessing the situation” down to a fine art. This applies to assessing other woman too. We are aware of when a stunning looking woman has walked in to the room, and we are also aware if other people are aware of her presence too. Yet men seem to be oblivious to how obvious they can be when they are the ones assessing situation. Its as if they are in the own bubble, and no one can see their facial expressions every time a hot girl walks by, or when they are standing in the middle of the room staring at a large group of girls, whilst everyone around them is dancing and having a good time. So here is some advice from a woman, who manages to assess situations without anybody realising it, even though I’m half blind! (I refuse to wear my glasses in public)

Before we get to the “opening line” we must first look at what is going on in that head of yours, the moment you actually spot the girl you wish to approach.  First of all, if you’re a beginner, check out what the situation exactly is. There is a correct way of doing this in a discrete manner.  You might think you are being discreet hanging around near her for ages, but be warned, woman are very aware of those guys who hang around them for longer than is necessary,

 When this common scenario takes place, there seems to be 2 parallel universes going on.  On one hand, the man believes that he’s being subtle and he thinks she’s not yet aware of his presence, she on the other hand is only too aware of his presence, in fact, she spotted him from the corner of her eye ages ago, she also knows very well that he’s struggling desperately to pluck up the courage to speak her, unfortunately the more he is delaying the moment the more he is decreasing his chances.

 When me and my friends go out, we always laugh amongst each other (well, not me since I’m a little more sympathetic due to the nature of my work) at the guy who aimlessly stands close to us, bobbing his head uncomfortably and out of sync with music, every time one of us looks over, he looks away and then back, he attempts to smile at us now and again, and more often than not this guy will start looking at his cell phone at an imaginary text a few times too many.  This whole sherade can last for ages, and by the time he has unsubtly danced his way over to the group from the chosen spot he seemed to be stuck to. He has unfortunately near to no chance of pulling anyone from the group. It sadly becomes apparent that he is unaware that he has been the cause of our giggling for some time.

There is of course a way to prevent this. If you are going with a friend to a bar or a club, a great way to check out the woman in the place, and of course to assess the situation of a particular woman, is to have your friend in front of you whilst you are talking to each other, Never EVER have him on the side of you, as it will become too obvious to the woman that you decide to check out. Girls hate going to the bar to get a drink when there is a long line of guys there, shoulder to shoulder. Their heads turn simultaneouslyas she walks by them, and again, she is fully aware even if those guys think they are being discreet.

If you are talking with your friend face to face, it shows first of all that you are there enjoying the company of your friend(s) regardless of whether there are hot woman all over the place, it shows you are content to take your time and enjoy your evening at your leisure. The clever part is that not only can you get a lot more of an idea of the situation but you can also do it more discretely without her or her friends suspecting. Now and again you look over your friends shoulder, to see whats going on, he can also be assessing the situation behind you, in case something better comes along. This way you can literally have eyes at the back of your head, you get a 360-degree view of the room. Woman have plenty of subtle signals that we give each other when we spot someone we like, or someone we want to get away from, or someone who we think is attached, why don’t you guys get some more of these subtle signals.

 I think it’s funny that sometimes when I’m walking behind 2 guys in the street, and when turns around and see me, then he whispers something to his friend, who will automatically look at me to, and then he will stop dead in his tracks and look over to the nearest shop window, and wait for me to go by so he can check out the back of me too, just in case I had a tail or something like that.

I once said to a guy who did this as I went passed him.

“Next time you want to check me out from the back, it’s a good idea you don’t pick a “Mothercare” store to look at first.

What you are looking for

A true pick up artist sees less between him and his target, than another man normally would, What the average man may see as obstacles that are in the way, such as the chance she may have a boyfriend, or the fact she might be a bitch, or whether she’s with a large group of people, a mixed group, where by there are men with her as well as woman, or whether she looks angry or not, A pick up artist will not see these as obstacles, in fact his view point will take a 180 degree turn, and as a result, he will see some of these so called obstacles as positives. For example.

  If she looks like a bitch, then maybe everyone else is thinking the same thing, there for she’s probably getting hassled much less, then the friendly girl.

 If she’s with a large group of friends, rather than seeing this as a hindrance, he will see this as a way of making it easier, to approach her, as she will fill less venerable than if she was on her own or with just another friend, and if she doesn’t like him then she’s always got another few good-looking girl friends he can get an intro to. (Note, the very fact a man shows he is not scared of opening a large group of woman, gives him extra points before he has even finished his first sentence)

 If you learn the techniques that teach you the ways that give you the ability to crush these obstacles, and of course you practice and perfect them you will begin to see EVERY woman as a potential. But if you are beginner then its best to not plunge in to the deep end, you don’t want to start off approaching mega bitches, or girls who are in a long-term relationship.  Especially since we have not covered those areas yet. Keep it relatively easy when you start.

As a beginner you should be looking out for the following:

Is she getting hassled a lot? If the answer is yes then try to see what the guys seem to be doing that is making her reject them, and watch how she is rejecting them too.

See who she is with, is it a mix group? if the answer yes, could one f those guys be her boyfriend?

If she is in a big group of girls, check to see if she is the alpha or the leader of the group, and if she’s not, then who Is?

See what sate she is in, is she in a high energy state, where by she’s dancing laughing, possibly drinking and basically showing to everyone how much fun she is having? Or is she in a low energy state where she seems to be sitting, not really laughing too much and barley dancing. This will determine what energy state you should approach her with.

Check out the area around her, where are you going to stand or sit when talking to her, you want to be in the best position possible, if she’s sitting down, look to see if there is a near by chair you can grab, or if there is room next to her, you don’t want to be crouching next to her knees on the floor for half an hour, and you don’t want to be standing up looking down at her for too long either. Be careful when you see an empty space next to her at a crowded bar, this space is empty for a reason, and it’s probably because that spot is the part of the bar where the staff walks through. You don’t want to talk to her, with bar and waiting staff asking you to move every 2 minutes.

Next blog I will be giving you the next tip that will get you in to the perfect pre approach state of mind.

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Above is a step -by-step run through of my basic spin, it’s a very simple but effective move wich can be used as a transition move or simply on it’s own. Simple as it seems, when it’s executed well it can become a strong part of your repertoire, setting you apart from the ‘one-size-fits-all’ guys who a)don’t dance or b) do that same swaying/swinging arms movement.

Step 1: Point the toes of your dominant foot (in this case my right foot) into the direction which you intend to spin

Step 2: Step into the spin on your toes, angling your foot as far into the direction that you intend to spin as possible (notice the build of tension in your hips)

STEPS 3 THROUGH 5 MUST BE CARRIED OUT SEAMLESSY TO ENSURE A SMOOTH SPIN

Step 3: Release the tension in your hips and step down hard on to the heel of your dominant foot (right foot) whilst simultaneously stepping onto the toes of your left foot – causing you to begin spinning.

Step 4: You will now reach the point at which yur legs are ’scissored’ with your dominant foot at the rear

Step 5: Quickly whip your dominant foot forward and place it parallell to your left foot to end the move. It’s very mportant to step firmly at this point because this movement will kill the momentum of the spin and allow you to stop.

When executed correctly this looks super-smooth and will definitely set you apart from the bunch. I suggest that you practice a few times daily and you should be able to get it down within a few days… Good luck!

-P-

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