How To Pay A Compliment

By Hayley Quinn on August 10, 2011 Comments: 5

“You have the most beautiful smile” Nope

“Your eyes are like the ocean” Puke.

“You don’t sweat much for a fat chick” Offensive.

“You’re so hot you make me want to get a job” Not going to do you any favours.


Why do these compliments suck?

Someone has already used them. So if you reel them out on your hot date, they’re going to roll their eyes, and move on. Because you have done nothing to separate yourself from every other guy out there.

You’ll also appear insincere by using cliches; and like you’ve watched ‘The Notebook’ one too many times. Insincerity also makes it appear like you’re not giving the compliment in a genuine way, and that in fact you just want to get something from the woman in question, like a date, a kiss, or some other kind of nooky.

So how do you avoid these pitfalls? You be specific.

A specific compliment that’s tailored to the girl will seem spontaneous, sincere and feet-sweeping awesome.

The best ones are also never about looks; but about the girl’s behaviour or personality, something that is unique to her.

For instance:

“I love the way you walk” feels romantic incomparison to the cruder “I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave”.

“I love how you’re joyously walking around eating pick and mix” will catch a girl off guard when she’s not feeling at her most glamorous.

“I love how you’re still smiling when it’s so late in your shift” works a charm on waitresses and cute shop workers.

“I admire how you told me about how you used to be a chubby, goth girl at school” will seem incredibly sincere if a girl has just opened up to you about her painful school memories on a date.

Uncertain how to make one of these compliments yourself? then just follow this simple formula:

1. Really listen to what a girl is saying if you’re on a date, or observing what she’s doing if you want to use the compliment to approach her.

2. Phrase it as ‘I like x about you’ or ‘I admire x about you’

3. Be as specific as possible: if you want to say a girl has beautiful eyes say why you think they’re beautiful.

4. Use compliments sparingly. One really good, unique comment, is so much better than telling her you love EVERYTHING about her… namely the hope that if you compliment her enough she will sleep with you.

For more hints and tips on how to speak to girls check out www.puatraining.com

Tags: , , , , , , , Categories: Approaching & Opening, Openers & Routines

How to Deal with Flakes (not cereal) – Women who don't get back in Touch

By Hayley Quinn on April 6, 2011 Comments: 3

Even if you don’t know the slang, a flake is something all of us have experienced. It’s when a girl sends a last minute ‘my bus was late and now I can’t make it’ message, goes AWOL in the days running up to that amazing date you’ve planned, or is a total no show, leaving you hanging at the bar.

The immediate reaction to a flake is usually a jolt of rage, resentment and then disappointment: followed swiftly by an angry voicemail that burns your bridges with the girl forever. Understandable, but maybe not the best way of dealing with the situation, particularly considering that a flake isn’t a straight out ‘no’ it’s just a ‘not yet’: a sign that more desire, or comfort, has to be created before they’re willing to put themselves out for you.

So before you smash your phone against the wall, just think about this for a second.  First of all recognise the reasons why they may have flaked, and then figure out how you can get them to commit to a reschedule.

You’re not their number one

Think of all the different people in your life: friends, colleagues, families, girls you’re hooking up with. If you meet someone new (unless they really blow your socks off) they’re not going to be your top priority: in fact it would be weird if they were.

When girls flake what’s likely to happen is someone higher up on their priority list has got in touch, or they’re so tired from fulfilling their other priorities, that they can’t be bothered to meet up with you: the guy that quickly grabbed their number at the bar.

Sounds bad, but it’s just the nature of the beast that thanks to texts and emails, arrangements are much easier to cancel than they used to be: and people don’t worry so much about cancelling, as they have so much more choice.

You need to focus on getting her to invest more, go for a date that is easy for her to commit to and create more desire to overcome this.

You lost momentum

Your place on their priority list will slide even further if you let the interaction lose momentum. You may have hit it off one weekend, but by the next, she may not even be able to remember fully what you looked like. Interactions are like any reaction- they go cold after a while. So if you lose momentum in-between, by not keeping her engaged with a brief piece of flirtation every few days, she may lose her incentive to see you.

The lesson here is to set a date very close to your initial meet, and if you have to ‘pencil something in’ for a few weeks ahead then maintain good contact in-between. Build comfort and investment; don’t ever just assume it’s on.

Your Immediate Reaction

Now as tempting as it is to call people out on their (lame) flaky behaviour: this will never help you in the long run. Not only do you burn your bridges with this person; but you’ve also let them know that you value them more than they value you. Instead send a nonchalant ‘Hey no problem, I was getting my arm twisted into going out with my guy mates anyway. Catch you another time’ kind of message, then give them a few days of ‘vacuum’ so that they miss you maintaining momentum.

Your Next Strategy

After a couple of days send them a message that’s mission is to re-engage them. Going for a date again straight away after they’ve bailed on you is probably not a great idea: this will feel like too much effort on your part. Instead try to get them hooked again with a ping message:

Hey Sarah, Hope your weekend was fun in the end? I ended up having a crazy night out Saturday, and was still feeling wobbly at work today, think my boss noticed…

The message shouldn’t make any demands on her; so much so that it’s not even a big deal if she doesn’t respond (which is a reasonable possibility so be prepared for sending a few more messages like this over the coming weeks).

However, if you get a warm, fast-ish, long-ish response from her it’s a decent sign to push again towards the meet up.

If she doesn’t bite though, be prepared to repeat the cycle:

  • Don’t seem negative/ angry
  • Vacuum
  • Ping message
  • Try again to meet if you get a good response

As long as you extend the vacuum every time you don’t get the response you want you can dodge looking too needy.  Hit the six month mark though and if you’re still playing this game I’d recommend a different strategy: either delete the number or post her a box of Kellogg’s. You decide how you want to burn the bridge!

Tags: , , , Categories: Attraction, Text Game

3 Ways to Scream 'I'm Great in Bed!' without saying a word

By Hayley Quinn on March 22, 2011 Comments: 3

You can have all the lines (or the booze) in the world but that’s not the real reason girls go home with guys. Girls hook up with guys (or girls) because they think they’re going to be great in bed. Makes sense, right? Why else would we catch a bus across town to see you, sneak into your parents’ house or duck into the stall of a bar bathroom with you unless we thought we were going to get something really satisfying out of it? Here are my top three ways to scream “sex god” even if you’re secretly more Steve Jobs than Ron Jeremy.

1. Establish & Maintain Eye Contact

Oddly enough, we seem more sincere when we hold eye contact and subtly move in towards a person when we’re saying things. Next time you’re in front of a mirror try saying “There are so many things I’d love to do to you,” in two ways: one, moving away from the mirror, and looking around. The other maintaining your gaze and gradually moving in. You’ll see the second option makes you seem way more like you might be telling the truth about that time you made the two cheerleaders beg for more.

Top tip: Adjust the angle of your head to be slightly tilted when you’re saying these lines. This is the position we move into when we’re about to kiss someone, and it seems less confrontational than meeting someone’s gaze head on.

2. Utilize a James Bond Tone Of Voice

You know in the romcoms when Hugh Grant splutters and mumbles his way through declaring his love for a girl, then she is overcome with love and goes home with him? Yeah, that would never happen in real life. Why? Because so much of your sexual confidence is suggested through your vocal tone. Hastily spoken, high pitched speech or mumbling under your breath all says that you’re not comfortable with what you’re saying. So next time you want to say something truly filthy, take your time over it. Slow down. Pause. Spend ages telling her how she would look great in your bed: and she’ll believe you have the chutzpah to pull it (her dress) off.

3. Postpone The Kiss For Gentle Touches

To take the lead in bed you need to show that you’re comfortable with touching a woman. You need to seem totally relaxed in stroking her face, sliding your hand around the small of her back and kissing her neck. And I mean seem. Plenty of guys aren’t that “touchy feely” naturally and feel awkward at first touching a girl. The problem is if you’re nervous and uncertain this feeling will transfer to your date. So you need to fake it until you make it and show how you’re at ease with touching her. PUA Training’s three tips to pull this off are:

• Don’t look where you touch: It looks unnatural and makes you seem uneasy.

• Don’t linger: Touches should start light, gentle and brief then get more intense when she gives you the green light by not responding negatively to your moves.

• Don’t go from 0-60: Go straight in for the kiss and you’ll probably get knocked back. Start with a light touch to her arm with the back of your hand, move onto shoulders, then her neck. Whispering in her ear will get a much better response than going straight for the kill.

Work on these non-verbal indicators that you’re a sexual, confident guy and let your moves (not your words) do the talking.

Tags: , , , , , Categories: Seduction Tips

How to Pick-Up a Girl and Not Piss off her Best Friend

By Hayley Quinn on March 15, 2011 Comments: 2

We’ve all been there: you saunter over to the cute girl you’ve been meaning to ask out for a while, then out of nowhere comes her colossal bff with an attitude. Best friends of the girl you are into can be your worst enemy: they will drag your ‘target’ away, shoot you down and do everything to abort your chances of getting her on a date.

Here are my top three reasons why this always happens and how you can handle picking up the girl of your dreams, whilst dealing with the girl of your nightmares.

1. Look at the pair of girls you want to approach. Is one noticeably cuter than the other? If so, how do you think the less attractive girl is going to feel if you hit on her best friend and then ignore her? Exactly. Don’t feed into the less attractive girl’s insecurities, and the existing jealousy she may feel towards her cuter friend, by being too direct with the girl you like.

Walk up the pair of them and say to the cutie, ‘Hey, I just had to come over and talk to you, as I think you’re gorgeous,’ whilst ignoring her friend and you’re heading from trouble.

Instead engage, and compliment, them both:

‘I love how both of your styles are totally unique’

‘I’m curious as to what you guys are talking about? You’re totally engrossed in what you’re talking about, it’s all very Sex and the City’

‘You must be really good friends as you laugh in exactly the same way’

Will make them both feel engaged, not enraged, towards you.

2. Make the cute girl, and her friend, warm to you even more by initially dividing your attention between them. Even if you have an opener that isn’t offensive, all your good work might be destroyed if you then focus entirely on the hottie and ignore her friend. Girls are very socially aware: if her friend is bored then the girl you like will blow you out so as not to upset her friend. Even if you’re a really cool guy who she is attracted to, her bond towards her female friend is going to be a lot stronger than any obligation she may feel towards you.

So work to keep both women engaged in the interaction. Direct statements towards both of them, make eye contact with both girls and touch both of them (in a friendly not erotic way fyi!) to keep them both focused on you. If one starts to look bored, or turns away, re-engage her with a light touch to her shoulder or by specifically asking her opinion on something.

Work to keep the group together, and the friend won’t see you as a threat to her bond with her cute bff. Get her trust first, and then you can isolate the girl you’re into later. In fact if you do really well at making the girl’s friends like you they’ll often be smart enough to give you guys some alone time. So if you’re in a situation where the friends ‘pop to the restroom’ and leave the girl you like alone with you, it’s a huge green light for you to go for that kiss.

3. Show your attractive qualities with some BFF management. It’s actually going to be really attractive to a girl if you can get on with her (really dull and aggressive) best friend. So it’s time to master of the art of creating a great ‘friendly vibe’ with the friend, whilst being seductive with the girl you’re attracted.

You see, being socially attractive, and seductive are two different parts of the same puzzle. Master them both and the friend will become support your relationship; absolutely invaluable if you (inevitably) screw up later on when dating her cute friend.

Focus on creating a fun vibe with the girl you’re not attracted to. Be warm, friendly, crack jokes and be entertaining. For the girl you’re interested in be much more seductive: maintain stronger eye contact, slow things down, talk more emotively and challenge her- just be friendly towards her and you’ll end up as her friend as well. Then you’ll have to spend more time with that annoying BFF: disaster!

So remember next time you want to hit on a hottie, with a best friend ‘guarding’ her; make the dynamic work for you rather than against you:

  • Soothe the less cute friend’s insecurities by showing a warmth and interest towards them both.
  • Don’t enrage the friend’s jealousy by immediately trying to isolate the girl you like, instead win them both over.
  • Make friends with the friend: remember she has a lot of power over the girl you want to date. So make her your most powerful ally instead of your worst enemy.

Do these things and not only could you end up with a hot date… but you could also score a new, cool female friend in the process.

****

I wrote this article after a bootcamp client wrote in asking me about how to deal with this situation.

I always want to write relevant blogs so if you have any other questions fire them over to hayley@puatraining.com and I’ll try to write a blog on them,

Good luck guys

Hayley Q X

Tags: , , , , , Categories: Approaching & Opening

5 Ways to turn Last Minute Resistance into a Last Minute Hook Up

By Hayley Quinn on February 25, 2011 Comments: 0

You’re back at her place, shirt off, kissing her hard nipples, then she says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” Passion killer, right? Time to give up on the thought of hooking up with that chick? No way.

In the PUA world we refer to a woman’s last minute uncertainty about doing the dirty with you as Last Minute Resistance. LMR is a huge hurdle, and one that most guys fall at (after doing all the hard work of being a great date); however it isn’t impossible to overcome through a powerful combination of understanding and persuasion.

As I’m writing this I’m aware this sounds a little like a dark art; but it isn’t really. The problem is heaps of women, myself included, have been socially conditioned to not be socially or sexually liberated. She may feel like she wants to have sex; but then will hear her mom in the back of her mind scolding, ‘Sex so soon with this guy?! You don’t want to be considered a hussy now do you?’

Now whilst it should be a girl’s choice when she sleeps with someone, and no one should judge her for better or worse, whether it’s date 1 or 100; social pressure to not be a ‘slut’ will often give even the horniest fresher the jitters. So here are my five top tips to reassure her, so you guys can both have some fun:

1.       Give her choice: This is counter intuitive but often if you really try hard to convince someone to do something they’re uncertain of they’ll feel pressurised and even less likely to want to do something. Instead give options the whole way. If you grab a cab to head back to yours and she feels wobbly say, ‘Hey, it’s cool we can always go back to the party,’; or if you’re at your front door say, ‘This is my place, do you want to come up?,’ instead of assuming she will. If people feel like they’re choosing their own destiny they will feel much happier going through with it.

2.       Don’t keep pushing when she says stop: If you get a red traffic light you don’t just drive through it, unless you want to crash your car. So if you’re kissing her boobs and she asks you to stop because she feels uncomfortable, then trying to leap onto her giving you a blow job just isn’t going to fly. Instead reduce the tension levels, even to the point where you physically drop, rather than intensify, contact. This temporary ‘freeze out’ will help her to realise what she’s missing and hopefully she’ll then pounce on you.

3.       Let her know you’re not a player: Even if you think, ‘wow I’m so lucky to have picked this one hottie up,’ girls will often test you to see if you’re a ‘player’ if they go back with you. This is because we’re afraid that we’re a little smitten with you and we want to know that you don’t just hook up with every girl you meet. The reality is of course a lot of guys would love to hook up with every girl they meet- but can’t. However, if I’m getting naked in your bed I always think ‘this guy is the best PUA in the world!’ Help her to overcome her fears by reassuring her, ‘I never just go home with girls I meet on the first date you know; but there’s just something about you…’ and she’ll feel reassured enough to carry on (even if that was a tiny white lie).

4.       Vocalise her fears: Another trick that’s linked to this is the ability to verbalise what you think her fears might be. If you think she’s worried about other people gossiping, whisper, “Don’t worry babe, this moment is just going to be shared between the two of us. I’m not the kind of guy to tell my friends who I’m dating.” If you think she’s worried that you won’t respect her for sleeping with you on the first date remind her, “hey this isn’t a one night stand you know; this is the first of a lot of amazing dates.” Just be sincere if you can.

5. Explain your reasons for wanting to continue: Also be ok to tell her ‘why’ sex with you would be amazing; but instead of saying something explicit focus on it being seductive:

“I know this is really fast, but I’m just crazy about you. You’re beautiful. I want to spend hours exploring your body and kissing you here, here and here…”

Hopefully with these five tips combined all you seducers (and seductresses) out there will never have to leave your dorm room semi-naked, kissed and incredibly frustrated ever again. Just remember though when you’re convincing a person to sleep with you always be genuine, honest and great in bed!

For any more tips and advice on how to always get the girl check out www.puatraining.com

Tags: , , , Categories: Seduction Tips

January Gym Game – How to Pick up Women in the Gym

By Hayley Quinn on January 11, 2011 Comments: 19

Looking for an upside to having put on forty pounds, spent all your money and miserable weather?

How about trying some gym game. That’s right, trying to pick up chicks at the same time as you lift your weights. Here are a few guidelines about how to go about picking up a girl up whilst pumping iron.

1.       Don’t ‘gym neg’: The worst lines I’ve ever got at the gym are what I like to call the ‘gym neg’. The “You shouldn’t be lifting a weight like that, here let me show you a better manoeuvre” line. Even times when this has been well meant it’s caused me to inwardly bark, “I’m a qualified fitness instructor I’ll have you know.” The problem is people don’t usually enjoy being told something about themselves by a stranger. That pesky second person ‘you’ is fantastic for teasing a girl, but I’d avoid it when opening, as people generally don’t like being told what kind of person they are by a stranger. Instead try and say, ‘I’:  I think, I believe, in my opinion etc. It’s harder to go wrong with a statement if it’s clear that it is your opinion.

2.       Approach with positivity: A compliment will always leave a much nicer impression than a correction. So scrap that ‘gym neg’ and instead create rapport by paying a specific, genuine compliment to the girl you want to start chatting to:

“Hey, I like how you’re working with a kettle ball: that’s impressive when most people just settle for sitting on an exercise bike for an hour. I don’t know about you but, cardio really bores me. I love to mix up my work outs with some free weights and even a little yoga. And yes it is acceptable for a guy to be into that!”

Loading your opening statements with comments not only about what she’s doing but how it relates to you will make it easier for her to respond to you. So she’s more likely to respond, creating a natural flow of conversation.

3.       User an opener that’s related to the gym environment: If you randomly ask a girl an opinion opener in the gym (like ‘Do you think men are better liars than women?’) it seems even more out of place at the gym than anywhere else. Don’t leave them thinking, ‘Why is that guy speaking to me instead of working out?’ Instead try an opener that uses all the situational gold that the environment gives you to open:

“I’m curious how you ever managed to do that butterfly stretch? I love doing weights but think I let the side down a little bit with my flexibility.”

“I don’t know about you but I’m kind of addicted to protein bars. Think after years of healthy eating I’ve finally tricked my body into thinking it’s a chocolate bar I’m eating!”

(whilst on a treadmill) “I’m beating you….!”

4.       Come in and out of set: Trying to stop a hardcore gym bunny mid half marathon on the treadmill to run the cube on her is unrealistic and unnatural. Try to make fun, witty comments and statements that will grasp her attention, make her smile, then get back to your work out and let her get back to hers. If you’re both members of the same gym it’s better to play slow burn game rather than compete against her aerobic’s class for her attention. Build rapport over a period of time. Keep it natural, and you’ll be able to carry on gaming even in a very closed environment (where everyone knows each other) like the gym.

By using a natural (and by that I mean something that doesn’t seem premeditated) yet indirect (don’t get chucked out of your gym for sexual harassment) style it will allow you to enter the same set, or lots of different sets, without ever giving the game away that you’re in the gym for the lycra clad ladies and not the body pump class. Get practicing your indirect, slow burn game now, and you’ll be picking up gym bunnies before they can say, ‘New Year’s Resolution.’

Tags: , , , Categories: Approaching & Opening, General

Five Text Game Tips to Create More Desire for Festive Day Twos

By Hayley Quinn on December 22, 2010 Comments: 6

In case you haven’t noticed the constant Mariah Carey songs, specials on TV and Mrs. Claus outfits popping up in Anne Summers- it’s Christmas. The time of year for pulling at parties… and then sending drunken texts after one too many mulled wines.

Having received (and sent) some seriously ropey texts whilst under the influence in the past; I’m gonna take five minutes out from my Xmas-gaming activities to write a few guidelines on how to get a day two after that mistletoe fuelled make out session.

1. Avoid the appearance of being drunk: Misspelled words, late night phone beeps, and texts that don’t make sense all make you appear out of control. There is a fine line between a spur of the moment text on a night out and losing your inhibitions completely by sending a bunch of texts in a row to someone who you would normally think twice about contacting. Often alcohol makes us over invest as we text and say more than we would under normal circumstances. This isn’t often a good thing: being super drunk doesn’t look too great, nor does five texts in a row at about 3am. So next time you want to reach for your phone after a B52 think again. Focus on enjoying the night out that you’re on, being with your friends and don’t think about ‘that girl’ who you want to contact, until the next morning when you can send her a sober night telling her about all the fun you had the night before:



2. Use nicknames to make her remember you without you having to ask:

Is nearly as low value as it gets. It implies that she will have forgotten you (when you should come from a place of feeling unforgettable); and doesn’t even help her remember you by giving her your name. If there has been a gap between you meeting a girl and sending her a text, or if you met under pretty drunken circumstances, then just nickname your texts instead:

3. Never sound apologetic: This is why it’s important to avoid drunken, bad texts if possible as you then may have to back track the next day after sending them- and grovelling texts are never cool! Also avoid seeming uncertain of whether the date is going to happen with texts like these:


4. Instead seem certain that the day two is on: To do this use imperative, commanding, powerful language to imply that it’s on and that it’s a given that she’s going to meet up with you:

5. Use exciting vocabulary rather than logistics to get her hooked:

This isn’t erotic it just gives details of where to meet, whilst forgetting to incentivise why she should be interested in coming. A quick tip to make your texts more exciting is to use exciting vocabulary when talking about your date. Skip words like ‘nice’ when describing your experience, and date suggestions. Instead go for awesome, intriguing, amazing etc:

Anyway time to get back to arranging my own day twos. Have a great Christmas- I hope Santa brings everyone plenty of HBs.

Tags: , , , Categories: General

A little known fact about first kisses

By Hayley Quinn on December 1, 2010 Comments: 13

Are you ready? Take a deep breath. Ok

Often making out for the first time isn’t that hot.

Yep, I said it. Despite all of us PUA types mentally punching the air when we get a ‘K-Close’ often there are far sexier ways to entice a woman into bed.

K Close girl in Sardinia from Hayley Quinn on Vimeo.

Thanks to Hollywood, and bad romance novels, first kisses get a lot of good press: there is a beautiful moment of hesitation, then a perfectly executed kiss, and the world starts spinning etc.

This can all happen after a prolonged period of courtship, romance and all the other things that we’re certainly not considering when first kisses usually take place: on the dance floor of a nightclub at 1am. In this environment, so many times I’ve watched the magical first kiss moment disintegrate into a slobbery, overly enthusiastic affair, where being able to hold your breath for long periods of time seems to be the main objective. In fact they remind me of my first EVER kiss: I was thirteen, the boy did it for a 50p bet as I was the least attractive girl in school (check out that picture) and it was a harrowing, dishwasher-like experience.

Really, the kiss should be a prelude to a same night lay, but in these circumstances so often a poorly executed first kiss becomes a sexual deterrent instead.

Diving straight in for a french kiss says to a woman, “I’m the kind of guy who is all about hardcore action: you might as well forget about foreplay, seduction and orgasms when I’m around baby. I just want to bend you over and get down to business.”

This is not the message that you want to convey if you’re trying to get a woman to go home with you. You need to give her a carrot and stick motivation to have sex with you that night rather than play your ace too soon.

The carrot should be the fact that she thinks you’re going to be amazing in bed. This means lots of subtle, seductive kino around her erogenous zones. We’re talking light single finger strokes to her neck, inner arms, the small of her back. The best executed of these are often so subtle that no-one else in the bar or club is aware they’re going on- creating a seductive, secret that only the two of you share.

I also want you to scrap hugging and hand holding and replace it with far sexier light pressure from your hands holding onto her hips, gently squeezes as your hand drifts down her arm; your lips brushing her cheek, neck, wrists. Anything that screams ‘I know about foreplay, I will take my time to enjoy you tonight.’

There is truth in the expression, ‘always leave them wanting more’. A sloppy, slightly awkward kiss, that hasn’t had enough anticipation or build up, leave her thinking the exact opposite: ‘Whoa that’s enough.’

So give her an incentive (carrot) to come back with you by practicing subtle kino. Then deprive her of yourself fully (stick) so that in order to get sexual satisfaction from you she has to commit further to the interaction. This is why well known lotharios often pop out such beautiful lies as:

“I’m just not the kind of guy to make out with a girl in public, I want to enjoy my night, and all this…” gestures to woman, “…will have to wait until later.”

Or after kissing once on the lips, pulls away, stares deeply into the woman’s eyes, leans back or takes a woman by the arm and leads her to another place in the bar- rather than trying to escalate any further.

A good PUA knows that it is better to play your cards perfectly for a same night lay, rather than fold too soon by going for the kiss.

Forget, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, and instead think ‘deprivation makes the lust grow stronger’ and you won’t go far wrong.

It takes a strong man to deprive me of what I want when I’m attracted to him. It is infuriating for me, but I also perceive the guy as a challenge, as being in control. This is attractive. Instead of weakly complying to my demands, if he decides when we get down and dirty on his terms then I only like him more, and the sex seems worth waiting for.

Xx

Hayley Quinn

Tags: , , , , , Categories: Attraction, General, Seduction Tips

When She Says Can’t She Means Won’t

By Hayley Quinn on November 25, 2010 Comments: 7

It’s been a wonderful evening: you’ve eaten at an Italian chain restaurant, drunk the second cheapest bottle of wine on the menu, and gazed lovingly into this girl’s eyes for the past two hours. You’ve listened patiently to how she feels about her job, and you’re sure your legs were touching beneath the table, but when you suggest that it would be easier just to get a cab back to yours, you always get hit with the same response:

She bites her lower lip, looks up shyly and murmurs, “I can’t.”

Before you can understand how to change that ‘can’t’ into a ‘can’, you first have to realize that what she really means to say is ‘won’t’.

In reality there are very few times when a girl logistically, really, definitely, can’t go back to your place. However, often when we hear many of life’s can’t’s:

“I can’t because I’ve got work in the morning”

“I can’t because I’m kind of seeing someone”

“I can’t because my pet dog is, like, really sick”

Often we try and address the logistical solution to the problem instead of questioning why there isn’t enough desire there for her to have made the compromise of ditching work/ her boyfriend/ her friends/ her pets:

“Let me just look on google maps: yeah, I thought so, my house is actually nearer to your work than yours is. And I can give you a lift in the next morning.”

“He’ll never find out: I promise I won’t tweet about it or anything.”

“Maybe you can Skype your dog from my house? To check in on him??”

Trying to offer logistical solutions to why she ‘can’t’ do something often makes you sound desperate. Besides it’s not really that she’s got an early start the next day that’s the problem: if the desire is strong enough people will make the logistics work. That’s where the expression, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ came from. Personally, I’ve done some crazy things in the name of hooking up with someone: ditched another date to pursue a new one, travelled on a night bus to the depths of London at 1am, got a flight to New York… not to mention routinely going without sleep!

So next time she says ‘can’t’ understand she means ‘won’t’:

“I won’t because work is tough at the moment, and I value my sleep more than having sex with you.”

“I won’t because I don’t fancy you enough yet to risk being caught out having an affair.”

“I won’t because you really turned me off over dinner when you picked your nose, so now I’m going to make up some lame excuse about my dog being sick in order to get away from you.”

As soon as you start to realize that whilst good logistics (you chose to meet up really close to your apartment so she could crash, you met up on a Saturday night so that she wouldn’t have work the next day) can help in getting laid; they mean nothing unless you’ve created enough desire for her to want to sleep with you.

So next time you get hit with a ‘can’t’ think of this:

Did you create enough comfort through having deep conversations about her sick dog for her to trust you?

Did you create enough attraction by making her smile, whilst remaining effortlessly ‘James Bond’ cool?

Did you make her feel sexual by touching her seductively? Or did you compromise the chances of her coming back with you for a night of passion with an OTT, slightly awkward, make out session?

Address these issues of desire first and foremost, and you’ll find that she can call in sick to work, cheat on her boyfriend, and even overcome your nose picking habits.

Hayley Quinn Xx

Tags: , , , Categories: Attraction, General, Seduction Tips

Turning A One Night Stand From Awkward Into Awesome

By Hayley Quinn on November 17, 2010 Comments: 21

So you went out to a bar, had a couple of drinks, seduced a hot college girl (don’t worry I’ll be covering how you do this in later articles) and now you’ve woken up next to her in your bed. This is not a morning to regret- yet.

However, it could be, unless you establish some slick post-lay tactics to keep her coming back for more and not having a huge ‘what was I thinking’ moment at 9am.

Whilst I’m sure you look hot at 9am, after five shots of tequila and an all night sex session be wary of these few morning after clangers that can prevent this ever happening again:

No communication: There are some obvious pitfalls to you not speaking to her, or not communicating effectively, the morning after:

1. If you don’t offer any ‘after care’ service, she’ll feel that she has had to do ‘the walk of shame’. Take it from a girl, there is nothing fun about quietly letting yourself out of a guy’s house and having to creep home wearing the exact same clothes from the night before. Especially if those clothes happen to be five inch stilettos and a corset.
2. She may never leave. Big problem.

In all seriousness, not being able to string a sentence together, and at least some normal, friendly conversation, communicates to her that you’re uncomfortable with sex. If you feel awkward then she will too. People are like particles and so often give back exactly the same energy that they’ve been given. So if you come across as uncomfortable with the situation (of her waking up in your bed) then she’ll feel uncomfortable too. And no girl wants to hook up with a guy who is ‘weird’ after sex. We want men that are confident and at ease with their sexuality. So instead of ‘sleeping’ as she picks her clothes up and tip-toes out of your room, please be man enough to say:

“Hey, good morning, hope you slept ok? I’ve got a killer headache- I think that’s your fault from encouraging me to drink so much tequila! Here, let me get you a towel so you can grab a shower.”

This statement leads me nicely onto my next point:

Not leading: By leading I mean ‘taking the masculine initiative to take control of the situation’. Not leading is having no clue about what to do with this naked stunner, and so (in your panic) pandering to her every need, and asking her infinite questions about what she wants to do.

Just like not speaking much at all, having no sense of purpose, no plan, the morning after communicates to her that you’re not accustomed to this situation, and that you’re not comfortable with sex.

See how bad this sounds:

Her: “Good morning.”

You: “Hey, good morning, how are you feeling?”

Her: “A little hungover I guess!”

You: “Oh no, can I get you some Tylenol? Aspirin?”

Her: “No it’s ok I’ll survive.”

You: “Ok, how about some coffee? Or I can run to the store and get you some juice?”

Her: “It’s fine, I don’t want you to put yourself out. Besides, I should get to work.”

You: “Ok well if you’re sure. How about I give you a lift? Or would you prefer me to call a cab?”

This is an extreme version, but people do this all the time. And guess what? If this is how you behave, you’ll encounter similar problems to if you don’t communicate at all:

1. Your extreme ‘after care’ service will have her feeling awkward. Your lack of decision making will make her feel uneasy as you appear inexperienced in handling post-lay situations.
2. She may never leave. Big problem.

So let’s look at this constructively. You can still be cool, caring and conversational without appearing needy:

Her: “Good morning.”

You: “Hey, good morning, how are you feeling?”

Her: “A little hungover I guess!”

You: “Ok, now, based on how you were throwing those shots back last night I’m guessing you have no qualms with taking a few aspirin now. Here *hand her the packet*”

Her: “Oh, ok, thanks.”

You: “No problem. Look, I’m going to make myself some coffee and some toast; if you’ve got a moment before work I think you should join me. Three aspirin and no breakfast is a bad combination!”

Her: “Yeah, that would be nice. I’ll just have black coffee if that’s ok?”

You: “Sure. I’ll fix that up whilst you grab a shower. Then I’ll call a cab for you, so we can both be on time today.”

She should respond well to you having a plan. People will naturally comply, if you exhibit enough comfort with your decisions. This also allows you to arrange the morning after just as you want it, and at no stage does that mean you have to be a jerk. Keep your tone of voice friendly and calm and she will respect the decisions you make.

No Morning Sex: Ok there is an exception to this if you’re both physically ill the next day, but for god’s sake if she is stroking your back and snuggling up to you the next morning then have sex again! You’re not a professional football player, you will be ok to have sex before work! There are so many good reasons for this:

1. Give her some good sex memories, especially if the night before was acted out in a drunken haze.
2. You don’t want to appear uncomfortable with sex without your beer goggles on.
3. Waking up fifteen minutes earlier to accommodate for this, is well worth it if she leaves with a smile on her face, and an increased desire to come back again.

So remember get your ‘post-lay’ tactics down so that in a few months time, when I’ve helped to teach you how to get really good at picking women up, you can handle all the hot women you’ll be bringing home.

Hayley Quinn Xx

Tags: , , , , , Categories: Attraction, PUA Videos, Seduction Tips
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