You’re back at her place, shirt off, kissing her hard nipples, then she says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” Passion killer, right? Time to give up on the thought of hooking up with that chick? No way.
In the PUA world we refer to a woman’s last minute uncertainty about doing the dirty with you as Last Minute Resistance. LMR is a huge hurdle, and one that most guys fall at (after doing all the hard work of being a great date); however it isn’t impossible to overcome through a powerful combination of understanding and persuasion.
As I’m writing this I’m aware this sounds a little like a dark art; but it isn’t really. The problem is heaps of women, myself included, have been socially conditioned to not be socially or sexually liberated. She may feel like she wants to have sex; but then will hear her mom in the back of her mind scolding, ‘Sex so soon with this guy?! You don’t want to be considered a hussy now do you?’
Now whilst it should be a girl’s choice when she sleeps with someone, and no one should judge her for better or worse, whether it’s date 1 or 100; social pressure to not be a ‘slut’ will often give even the horniest fresher the jitters. So here are my five top tips to reassure her, so you guys can both have some fun:
1. Give her choice: This is counter intuitive but often if you really try hard to convince someone to do something they’re uncertain of they’ll feel pressurised and even less likely to want to do something. Instead give options the whole way. If you grab a cab to head back to yours and she feels wobbly say, ‘Hey, it’s cool we can always go back to the party,’; or if you’re at your front door say, ‘This is my place, do you want to come up?,’ instead of assuming she will. If people feel like they’re choosing their own destiny they will feel much happier going through with it.
2. Don’t keep pushing when she says stop: If you get a red traffic light you don’t just drive through it, unless you want to crash your car. So if you’re kissing her boobs and she asks you to stop because she feels uncomfortable, then trying to leap onto her giving you a blow job just isn’t going to fly. Instead reduce the tension levels, even to the point where you physically drop, rather than intensify, contact. This temporary ‘freeze out’ will help her to realise what she’s missing and hopefully she’ll then pounce on you.
3. Let her know you’re not a player: Even if you think, ‘wow I’m so lucky to have picked this one hottie up,’ girls will often test you to see if you’re a ‘player’ if they go back with you. This is because we’re afraid that we’re a little smitten with you and we want to know that you don’t just hook up with every girl you meet. The reality is of course a lot of guys would love to hook up with every girl they meet- but can’t. However, if I’m getting naked in your bed I always think ‘this guy is the best PUA in the world!’ Help her to overcome her fears by reassuring her, ‘I never just go home with girls I meet on the first date you know; but there’s just something about you…’ and she’ll feel reassured enough to carry on (even if that was a tiny white lie).
4. Vocalise her fears: Another trick that’s linked to this is the ability to verbalise what you think her fears might be. If you think she’s worried about other people gossiping, whisper, “Don’t worry babe, this moment is just going to be shared between the two of us. I’m not the kind of guy to tell my friends who I’m dating.” If you think she’s worried that you won’t respect her for sleeping with you on the first date remind her, “hey this isn’t a one night stand you know; this is the first of a lot of amazing dates.” Just be sincere if you can.
5. Explain your reasons for wanting to continue: Also be ok to tell her ‘why’ sex with you would be amazing; but instead of saying something explicit focus on it being seductive:
“I know this is really fast, but I’m just crazy about you. You’re beautiful. I want to spend hours exploring your body and kissing you here, here and here…”
Hopefully with these five tips combined all you seducers (and seductresses) out there will never have to leave your dorm room semi-naked, kissed and incredibly frustrated ever again. Just remember though when you’re convincing a person to sleep with you always be genuine, honest and great in bed!
For any more tips and advice on how to always get the girl check out www.puatraining.com
