Posts Tagged ‘Pick Up Artist’

Hey guys,

Wow, I can’t believe it has been so long since I last posted! Jumping on the New Year bandwagon this is actually a post I meant to put up around November but never got around to it.

The Background.

When with a student I like to refer to how important a first impression is. If your first impression isn’t strong, you face a battle to make up lost distance, and then prove to her that you are a cool guy worth spending time with.

Now a few people might have read that and start crying out old pick-up mantras: ‘But I’m the prize! She should want to game me!’ Let’s be honest with ourselves here, none of that is true… at least not straight away.

You only become the prize once you have proven you are the prize. Very few girls will actively view you straight away as someone to be chased and invested in without you having shown them why. It can happen, but only in special circumstances. In a regular bar, nightclub or in the street, you need to show them why you are worth the effort.

And all this comes down to making a good first impression.  By doing this you are cutting out a great deal of work for yourself, as most of the qualities you need to convey, aside from conversational ability and escalation ability, can be demonstrated in that initial moment. That’s why we are going to have a look at these qualities and go through how to show them effectively in this post.

The Breakdown

 
First let’s break this down into two sections, the initial look, and the initial contact. The initial look is what they see when they first look at you. The first judgement they will make. It comes in three parts:
1) Fashion.
2) Body language.
3) Value in the environment.

Each of these three things are related to your overall value. If all three (minimum two out of three) are high, then you come across as a high value guy and the girl is more likely to be open to you approaching, forcing IOI’s, etc. Without them, it will naturally be more of an uphill battle.
The initial contact comes in when you actually open your mouth and deliver the opener, and comes in four parts.
1) Eye contact.
2) Body language.
3) Vocal tonality.
4) Proximity.

Together these four things make the strongest impression when making contact. Strong eye contact is a sign of a comfortable, secure and confident man. This is especially true when combined with relaxed body language.

By having a voice that is paced (by which I mean you aren’t speaking too fast), this shows an air of dominance and authority. Notice how good public speakers pause and slow down as they say their key points. It is the same theory here.

Finally, your proximity (how close you are standing) to them will grab their attention and make sure they have noticed you. The ideal distance is right on the edge of their comfort zone. If you want a guide, it would be the same distance from your elbow to the tips of your fingers, if your arm were bent at your side.

The worst thing that can happen when you open is not for a girl to say ‘no thanks’ and then to turn away. It is for her to say ‘excuse me?’ (or much more likely in England ‘what?’). If you haven’t got her attention before you open your mouth it is an uphill struggle from there. It is far better to create a good first impression with a bit of thought and effort, and make the work later a bit easier, rather than springing a surprise opinion opener on a girl without her knowing you are going to say something beforehand.

So there we have a bit of a mindset (though slightly technical) first post of the New Year for you all. I plan on finishing my Strategy for Nightgame post series soon, but in the mean time if you have any questions on this or my other posts, please do not hesitate to contact me on: karl@puatraining.com

Until next time!

Karl

Hey guys,

For this post I really wanted to get something out there that has been in the back of my head for a good few months now: there is more than one type of attraction.

Now this seems to make perfect sense and yet we do not consciously think about it with pick up. We learn how to create attraction, but do not think about how to utilise each type! We can think, for a working model, that there are two types of attraction: Classic and Sexual.

Classic attraction is what we would all think of straight away. The attraction felt between a guy and girl, who then can enter into a relationship, maybe get married etc. etc. It is what has been taught and is achievable through the principles we teach on our Bootcamp’s: opening, building comfort, breakingrapport, qualifying and then closing – either via a date or on the same night.

What is Sexual attraction?

Sexual attraction is built on the same principles. But utilised in a very different way. Instead of the girl viewing you as prospective boyfriend, she will instead view you as a prospective sexual partner, whether it is for the night or multiple times.  A goal for some guys coming on our courses is the idea of having multiple girl friends. In order to achieve this you have to be open and honest if a girl ever asks you about your situation. But what if you didn’t have to?

Building Sexual attraction achieves this. It goes unsaid that you are a guy with many women: it communicates an abundance mentality. This means that until you start to transition into Classic attraction with the girl, the topic will very rarely come up.

The Technique.

So how do we build Sexual attraction? Through the same process as building Classic attraction, but with a small twist: everything is as fast as possible.  It should be said that the most common, and easiest, place to build Sexual attraction is in a nightclub, and more difficult in daygame, with a bar scenario sitting slightly more towards the nightclub end. Below are some points to guide you on building Sexual attraction:

1)   The opener should either convey intent (direct). This should not be ‘hi I want to sleep with you’ direct, even ‘hi, I would have kicked myself if I didn’t come over and say hello, what caught my attention is…’ might be too much if the situation doesn’t call for it. The ideal opener would be to force an IOI, followed by walking up to them and saying ‘Hey’.

2)   Break rapport quickly. Due to the direct nature of your opener the intent has already been placed on the line, so escalation can occur quickly. While it is true comfort does need to be built, not nearly as much does for Sexual attraction. The minute she is hooked you want to break rapport.

3)   Qualify her and give her some physical compliance tests, one of which should be a form of isolation. This part is to be fairly short, and between some fluff talk to build a little bit more comfort, but nothing too deep, otherwise it will be incongruent with the image you are putting across.

4)   Escalate hard and fast. Keep the eye contact and introduce pauses. Look at her lips and smile every now and then. Ideally you want to get to a point of holding her hand as quickly as possible, or standing with your arm around her waist. Once one or both of these points have been reached you are ready to K-close, give her some intense eye contact, and slowly draw her in for the kiss.

5)   Look to extract. If she is with friends return to the friend group and build some group comfort (mentioned in my last post), all while keeping the kino up with the girl without her friends knowing (there is a great segment on this on the Stealth Attraction DVD set, but an example is caressing her back while your hand is on it).

After you have F-closed her, and if you have taken her number at any point, keep the texts within a close time frame of date times (around a week to five days before). The dates themselves should not be dates so much as a pre-meeting before the bedroom, so ideally a club, bar, or your house. Again, we do not want much comfort building and we are looking to move it to the bedroom as quickly as possible.

Points 1-4 above can be achieved in around 5 to 10 minutes when done correctly, although be aware that there will be a small number of girls who just will only respond to Classic attraction.

It is also possible to build Classic attraction once you have built Sexual attraction. The method is fairly simple: building more comfort. However it is not as easy to convert from Classic attraction to Sexual attraction.

In summary:

• There are two types of attraction: Classic and Sexual.
• The method to building both is similar, but Sexual attraction is achieved faster.
• Classic attraction portrays you as a boyfriend character whereas Sexual attraction does not.
• It is possible to go from Sexual to Classic attraction fairly easily, but not as easy to go the other way.

That brings me to the end of this post. If you have any questions or comment leave them here or send me an email: karl@puatraining.com

Until next time!

Karl

Hey guys,

Well I’m not sure about you but I am officially excited that summer is here! The girls instantly seem to get more attractive and people are generally more up for a party.

It also means the rise of something else…bar game! This post will be considerably shorter than my post on club game as most of the skills are the same, and tends to feel less intimidating. Without further delay then…

The Environment.

While the venue itself isn’t as hostile (no loud music, unfriendly door staff, overcrowded dance floor etc.) more social intelligence is required. In a nightclub it is easy to get away with more extrovert behaviour, but in bar it might be wiser to save that part for when you are actually speaking to them.

This is depending on the type of bar you go to of course. Over here in the UK sometimes our bar’s turn into mini clubs later in the night, at which point refer back to my previous post, but for all others this hold’s true.

The Girls.

A girl goes to a bar for a different reason than to go to a club. She goes to the club to have a night out with her friends, get some male attention and mainly forget about normal life for the night.

In a bar she is there to have a laugh and catch up with her friends. When guys say they have difficulty with bitch shields in bars. They tend to not take this fact on board and stand there trying to hit on the girl when she doesn’t particularly want to be. This is the art of bar game. Being able to pick up the girl who doesn’t want to be.

So there are two ways to open:

1)   Use a false time constraint (I can only stay a minute but I wanted to ask/say…) or pre-opener, and re-open later.

2)   Go direct.

I personally always recommend going direct for the sets you are actually interested in. The reason is simple: she knows that you are hitting on her either way. Even if you are asking her the time, why are you asking her and not the guy next to her with a watch on? Going direct owns up to this fact straight away, but you can do it in two ways.

One is to go up to her, friends be damned, and to say it loud. The other is my personal favourite. To force an IOI, smile once more and then to open her once she steps outside for a cigarette/goes to the bar/on her way back from the bathroom. Any of these methods work well so play around with them to find what works best for you.

Running the game.

Once you have opened and are in the set here is your chance to show you ‘get it’. Remember that they are there with their friends. It is important to build group comfort, which is comfort with the group as a whole. I have seen too many students who open well and then only speak to their target the minute they are in set and then get blown out.

Keep the whole group engaged, simply by making sure you give each of them attention, bring them back into the conversation with light kino or eye contact, make sure they all feel involved. Once they are asking you questions in turn it is time to break rapport with your target.

The group should them be comfortable enough with you, as long as you don’t keep ignoring them to let you hit on their friend. Aim for a contact close quickly, stay in conversation for a few more minutes and then leave. You can now go back and set up a date the next day, but if you want to extract, give them a bit of time to carry on the conversation they were having and then rejoin them, ideally with a friend or two.

After that the game run’s itself with a competent wingman. Make sure they are building group comfort as well; otherwise you look bad for bringing them over. The idea of going for an after party or drinks is the ideal method of extraction. To see if this is possible ask a logistical question like  ‘what are you guys doing once this place shuts?’ Be warned do not suggest them coming back then, instead revisit it later. A question like that let’s you know if the set is ‘on’ to go back or not and calibrate your game accordingly.

Summing up.

Bar game is where you go to have good conversations, if those skills aren’t up to scratch, spend a bit of time working on them first. Once you are competent though it is a very rewarding experience. Just bear in mind that if you see two girls and they are in an intense discussion with a scowl on their face it isn’t the best time to open!

The basic pattern is to:

1)   Open briefly, so as to not interrupt the conversation, and then return later.

2)   Build a lot of group comfort and break rapport with your target.

3)   Close, or leave and return later with some friends.

4)   Work for extraction, or close and leave the group.

Comments are always welcome and email me if you have any questions: karl@puatraining.com.

Have fun out there guys, the next in the nightgame series will be…street game!

Karl