Posts Tagged ‘pua training’

This post is in response to replies to my last post on being (‘Free of Control in a Relationship’) An off topic came up and I also have had e-mails from people around the world worrying about the same thing. The subject being other men and a woman’s past. The general concern is relating to PUA’s. Guys worrying that PUA’s have some special powers to steal their women.

I quote a reply from previous post

“Dear Sweeney,

I have a question. Becomes you know how guys tend to present their s$x lives like they sweep women with some magic spell and f@%k them silly then toss them to the curb like they were some 20p toy.

sometimes i think shit. what if this girl im dating like got f@%ked on a one night stand or got spitroasted by some hot PUA guys like you read it in the field reports. its like gahhh. yes its great for them but i wouldnt want their left overs and sometimes i worry like could ALL women fall for that spell? because pua guys make it seem like they could casually f@%ck any woman and toss her out.”

This is really not about any other man’s sexual abilities or strengths but the route of the matter is a person’s own insecurities and lack of self worth. You really have to value yourself and realise there are things you can offer that no other man be (film star, MPUA, natural, whatever…..) can. Indentifying those qualities and embracing them in a non-egocentrically way is the way to have great inner game! However on a bigger scale the more you learn about yourself, the more you will become aware of what will make you happy in any kind of a relationship and not what you THINK will make you happy but the qualities in a person that will! The key to being able to identify the kind of partner that will actually bring something to your life and make you happy and then you will stop wasting your time trying make gorgeous loss causes work with game and manipulation. (See my last post on ‘Letting go’)

From a logical or ‘Game’ perspective other guys are really not a problem. They only become an issue if you let them in your head and then all your silly insecurities rage to the service in a needy way which repels them. The reason other guys are no competition is a thing called PAIR BONDING. When two people have s&x, oxytocin and Endorphins are released, which helps bond the relationship. This is much stronger in women. When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond — the more s*x, the greater the bond. That is why it is important not to put the stunningly beautiful, well brought up, good morals, ‘not that kind of girl’ on a pedestal and be scared of escalating out of respect. She wants a guy to lead her to that place even if she hasn’t been there often. That is all MPUA’s do because they know this and know it is all about creating sexual comfort! MPUA’s do this rapidly hence they don’t spend months like other guys getting a girl to be sexual with them. So you see others guys are just not to be worried about because they DON’T have that bond with her. So a woman can see the most sexual and stunningly good looking guy in the world and look at him in amazement but still not act on it or even want to. If a girl is totally in love with me Brad Pitt couldn’t game her off me, there are things I can offer her that Brad can’t (and vice versa but I am sure he is happy with Angie so I’m safe ;-) you should have the same attitude.

I regularly have ‘Top PUA’s’ asking me for advice, they have issues too. However what gives top PUA’s a ‘glow’ apart from over the top non-natural marketing is that they understand

Sexual dynamics and escalation

Themselves (the foundation)

And have a real sense of inner confidence because they know how to be their most attractive self.

That differs from PUA to PUA. However that is all you can hope for….. ‘To be your most attractive self,’ what more could you ask for and then you will feel happy and be coming from a place of abundance and peace. And remember, as my good friend Gambler says ‘Anything that another human can do is learnable by you’ that is why our bootcamps and events are always full of people learning these things…….. Otherwise we wouldn’t be in business.

So if……

You are able to identify and embrace your individual attractive qualities and what you’re ACTALLY looking for in a partner.

Are able to be your ‘most attractive self’ through natural game

And finally you’re having s$x with your partner therefore strengthening the bond each time.

So it does not matter if ‘Mr. Super big balls MPUA super s”x star dripping in s@x appeal’ comes along she is bonded to you not him and his presence should not affect or intimidate you just a great opportunity to display your security and strength.

Finally you CAN NOT be jealous of her past so don’t bother. One of the top 3 qualities of millionaires and leaders is they don’t spend time worrying about things that they have no control over. You can’t control her past but you can control your future together. Using the 3 things above will help to make that a brighter future and with no fear of other men.

Much Love

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Hey guys! Just a few thoughts about conversational technique.

Take License to Lead

Remember, when you first meet a woman, you have a license lead the conversation wherever you want to take it. As difficult as it can sometimes seem, being a man means taking charge and knowing what you want. Have confidence in what you’re saying; you can express this both physically and verbally.

So for example if I’m in set I might do something I like to call the Chess Pieces routine. If I’m standing in an awkward position I’ll jokingly look confused and say “No, no, this is all wrong”. Then I’ll physcically move the girls myself by putting my hands on their hips and re-positioning them around me until I’m in a position where they are all facing me and I’m leaned against the bar. Then lean back and say “ahhh, now this is much cosier for a little conversation isn’t it? Where were we?” You don’t need to make a meal out of this whole manuevre. Just do the whole thing quiet swiftly and nonchanlantly and it will powerfully convery inner confidence. (Make sure you make it clear with your facial expressions that you’re being a bit silly and having fun with them).

Embrace Being Unconventional

Don’t feel the need to be bound by social norms. Your power is in being different to every other guy. Think about it. Attractive women meet a lot of guys on any one night out. She may have three or four phone numbers by the end of the evening, so if one of them is yours, what are you going to do that makes her remember your name when it pops up on her Caller ID? I mentioned this in an earlier post, but women I have dated have always brought up the fact that I really stood out for them when we first met. Remember, there is so much more than just conventional conversation. Have fun with roleplaying, silly games, high fives, accuse her of being too forward, misinterpret what she says as being something sexual. Enjoy the experience of defying social norms!

Always be Moving Somewhere

Don’t get stuck and wallow in the early stage of an interaction. The biggest problem for newcomers is hanging on the opener for ten minutes until the topic completely runs dry. Don’t be afraid to cut off threads that are going nowhere! If you can feel the conversation growing stale don’t feel obliged to talk a subject to its death. Just cut it off and run into something else. Or completely change a girls frame by just cutting through the bullshit e.g. “Look, are you gonna be my girlfriend or not?”. This works great just to jolt her and step things up a gear, playfull of course!

See you soon, and take care guys,

Feel free to email me at matt@puatraining.com

Matthew H – Master trainer & Confidence expert

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