Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

**Update – Blog comment free bootcamp competition winner will be announed tomorrow, I need a little more time to make this tough decision!**

I wanted to write a post about the early stages of relationships, i’m talking about the time after you get the number and before the point where you can relax and say “okay she’s mine” where she answers all your calls and is happy to see you all the time.

An important thing is this phase is keeping your attractiveness and making sure your emotional investment in her doesn’t exceed what she feels for you.  If she sees that you like her more than she likes you, it can kill attraction.  It would be pretty straightforward but women often throw curveballs at you in this phase and it’s easy to make a few mistakes and lose a potential relationship.

The situation:  You’ve met them and had this amazing time, the connection is great and she is very into you.  She gives tonnes of IOIs and you think you are very much in there.  You look into each others’ eyes and feel the s|xual tension and your feelings growing.  Then you part ways.

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Most guys will become more attracted to a girl when she plays hard to get or is difficult in some way. I’ve noticed what I do. I do honest reward and punishment. Example:

Reward: increased attachment and doing more for her.
Punishment: Think of her more casually.  At the extreme end look for other women.

Example: She takes a long time to get back to you, she is often late, she goes out and gets drunk with her friend, she is inconsiderate, you do things for her and she doesn’t reciprocate when she has the chance.

Each of these thigns should result in a punishment which means you think less of her and treat the relationship more casually, even to the point where you date other girls.

When she behaves perfectly you don’t need to punish her and can reward her with increased attachment.

The actions above would get on my nerves in a girl so why should I reward them with increased attachment?  This seems obvious but most guys will chase more when a girl plays games or takes away her emotion a little bit.  You also don’t need to go too far the other way in being a ba£$%rd all the time.

The sincere reward is just as important.  It allows to have a happy relationship.  The sincere punishment just shows her that she can’t start taking the piss.  It’s natural that women start to get bored if you are too nice, but they get bored and misbehave, and then you punish this and then they come back.  When you are in a relationship you have more “wiggle room” or margin for error so can get away with mistakes for short time before the relationship goes wrong.

Would love to know if this strikes a chord with any guys who have had relationships go wrong!

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