Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Hey guys,

For this post I really wanted to get something out there that has been in the back of my head for a good few months now: there is more than one type of attraction.

Now this seems to make perfect sense and yet we do not consciously think about it with pick up. We learn how to create attraction, but do not think about how to utilise each type! We can think, for a working model, that there are two types of attraction: Classic and Sexual.

Classic attraction is what we would all think of straight away. The attraction felt between a guy and girl, who then can enter into a relationship, maybe get married etc. etc. It is what has been taught and is achievable through the principles we teach on our Bootcamp’s: opening, building comfort, breakingrapport, qualifying and then closing – either via a date or on the same night.

What is Sexual attraction?

Sexual attraction is built on the same principles. But utilised in a very different way. Instead of the girl viewing you as prospective boyfriend, she will instead view you as a prospective sexual partner, whether it is for the night or multiple times.  A goal for some guys coming on our courses is the idea of having multiple girl friends. In order to achieve this you have to be open and honest if a girl ever asks you about your situation. But what if you didn’t have to?

Building Sexual attraction achieves this. It goes unsaid that you are a guy with many women: it communicates an abundance mentality. This means that until you start to transition into Classic attraction with the girl, the topic will very rarely come up.

The Technique.

So how do we build Sexual attraction? Through the same process as building Classic attraction, but with a small twist: everything is as fast as possible.  It should be said that the most common, and easiest, place to build Sexual attraction is in a nightclub, and more difficult in daygame, with a bar scenario sitting slightly more towards the nightclub end. Below are some points to guide you on building Sexual attraction:

1)   The opener should either convey intent (direct). This should not be ‘hi I want to sleep with you’ direct, even ‘hi, I would have kicked myself if I didn’t come over and say hello, what caught my attention is…’ might be too much if the situation doesn’t call for it. The ideal opener would be to force an IOI, followed by walking up to them and saying ‘Hey’.

2)   Break rapport quickly. Due to the direct nature of your opener the intent has already been placed on the line, so escalation can occur quickly. While it is true comfort does need to be built, not nearly as much does for Sexual attraction. The minute she is hooked you want to break rapport.

3)   Qualify her and give her some physical compliance tests, one of which should be a form of isolation. This part is to be fairly short, and between some fluff talk to build a little bit more comfort, but nothing too deep, otherwise it will be incongruent with the image you are putting across.

4)   Escalate hard and fast. Keep the eye contact and introduce pauses. Look at her lips and smile every now and then. Ideally you want to get to a point of holding her hand as quickly as possible, or standing with your arm around her waist. Once one or both of these points have been reached you are ready to K-close, give her some intense eye contact, and slowly draw her in for the kiss.

5)   Look to extract. If she is with friends return to the friend group and build some group comfort (mentioned in my last post), all while keeping the kino up with the girl without her friends knowing (there is a great segment on this on the Stealth Attraction DVD set, but an example is caressing her back while your hand is on it).

After you have F-closed her, and if you have taken her number at any point, keep the texts within a close time frame of date times (around a week to five days before). The dates themselves should not be dates so much as a pre-meeting before the bedroom, so ideally a club, bar, or your house. Again, we do not want much comfort building and we are looking to move it to the bedroom as quickly as possible.

Points 1-4 above can be achieved in around 5 to 10 minutes when done correctly, although be aware that there will be a small number of girls who just will only respond to Classic attraction.

It is also possible to build Classic attraction once you have built Sexual attraction. The method is fairly simple: building more comfort. However it is not as easy to convert from Classic attraction to Sexual attraction.

In summary:

• There are two types of attraction: Classic and Sexual.
• The method to building both is similar, but Sexual attraction is achieved faster.
• Classic attraction portrays you as a boyfriend character whereas Sexual attraction does not.
• It is possible to go from Sexual to Classic attraction fairly easily, but not as easy to go the other way.

That brings me to the end of this post. If you have any questions or comment leave them here or send me an email: karl@puatraining.com

Until next time!

Karl

Hey guys,

This is a post I have got around to writing pretty quickly. I was giving a talk on our bootcamp last weekend and while covering K-closing technique a thought occurred to me: what should a kiss say?

In the movie Hitch, Will Smith says: ‘8/10 women believe the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship.’

The words unsaid...

Well while the statistic might not be completely accurate there is certainly truth in it. Just as dancing relates to sex, a kiss can relate to your whole role in a relationship with a woman. What she can expect from a guy both sexually and emotionally.

For instance are you a guy who will lunge forward in the hope he will make the right move? Are you timid to start with and needs some encouragement before finally giving her what she really wants? Are you aggressive and dominant, maybe even to the point of ignoring the signals she is giving you? Or are you be the guy who starts a fire with barely a touch.

What does your kiss say about you?

What are we looking for?

We know what we are aiming for, so how do we make her see fireworks? Bear in mind a few things:

1. Read her actions: what you want is not always what she wants. This is obvious with sex, it is almost more important at this stage as it will communicate that you can be as savvy in the bedroom as you can be in the club, and with that in mind…
2. Do not be afraid to dominate! We tend to talk about being an alpha male, and leading and being dominant is a key feature of this, so why do some men fall down at the kiss? Make sure that you are showing you can give her that masculine presence she needs all the way through!
3. Don’t arrive at the party too late! Take the initiative and don’t wait for her to be giving you IOI’s (indicators of interest) akin to stadium lights before you kiss her. But on that note…
4. Don’t speed. When actually going in for the kiss, which she should know you are doing, don’t be afraid to let some suspense build. It shows sexual confidence that transfers to the bedroom.
5. One type of firework is boring. Just as flowers every birthday or anniversary, or the same move in bed every night kills a relationship, kissing her in the same way each time kills a bit of the passion. Try not to do the same thing repeatedly. Instead vary your method, keep her guessing, and wanting, more.
6. Wait for Christmas to open your present. Don’t be too eager. Back off every now and then, many guys start kissing a girl and don’t slow down or sometimes even stop! This can kill off a vibe so make sure you can keep things at a good pace.

The IOI’s you are looking for so you know when to go in for the kiss are simple and easy to spot, the easiest being her looking at your lips. Playing with her hair/neck, blushing and having dilated pupils are all good indicators as well.

Everything we crave

Technique

Now everyone has their own techniques that they like to use when going in for the kiss, I myself have a few that I teach to clients, but what about actually kissing her? Follow these few tips to keep these moments varied and explosive:

1. Kiss her with your eyes first. This is a standard, before you kiss her for the first time let her know what you are about to do by slowing down and looking at her like you are going to kiss her. Tilt your head a bit; maybe lift her chin up a fraction, let her anticipate the moment.
2. Foreplay is important. Trace certain features with a caressing finger before kissing her. The jaw line, cheek, and especially the lips are all great for building up to the big moment.
3. Only one thing should get stiff. Relax is a big bit of advice! If you are too stiff and rigid with your kiss then it doesn’t quite scream ‘I am cool with this’ It translates that you are quite nervous and therefore probably don’t get to this point with chicks much.
4. Get primal. Tug her hair lightly while in a more intense kiss to really kick on the primal level and tap into your alpha male caveman! Bear in mind it should be lightly, unless she is into that sort of thing, in which case you will find out pretty quickly if she is.
5. Biting got Dracula laid. Biting her lower lip lightly adds a very sensual, but dominating edge to a kiss, but again, if she is into the painful side of sex, you will get back better than you got!
6. Clean your ears. And hope she cleans hers! The ear is an on show erogenous zone, so make use of it! Whether by giving it a gentle kiss, lick, bite or (a big favourite of mine) just breathing on it, make sure you utilize this area.
7. Control the French in you. While using a bit of tongue is great, don’t overdo it and go for it every time. Some of the most sexual kisses can be something as simple as looking into her eyes and giving her a brief, but sensual kiss before pulling away. Deprive her a little bit.
8. Lingering feelings take time to go away. The lips are an incredibly sensitive area of the body, so give both of you a treat and after you kiss her softly, or even before you kiss her at all let your lips just brush over hers. The sensation is highly sexual and yet deprives her of full satisfaction.

So that brings me to the end of another huge post. I hope that this will be of use to some of you. As usual please leave a comment telling me what you think :-)

Until next time!

Karl

So you went out to a bar, had a couple of drinks, seduced a hot college girl (don’t worry I’ll be covering how you do this in later articles) and now you’ve woken up next to her in your bed. This is not a morning to regret- yet.

However, it could be, unless you establish some slick post-lay tactics to keep her coming back for more and not having a huge ‘what was I thinking’ moment at 9am.

Whilst I’m sure you look hot at 9am, after five shots of tequila and an all night sex session be wary of these few morning after clangers that can prevent this ever happening again:

No communication: There are some obvious pitfalls to you not speaking to her, or not communicating effectively, the morning after:

1. If you don’t offer any ‘after care’ service, she’ll feel that she has had to do ‘the walk of shame’. Take it from a girl, there is nothing fun about quietly letting yourself out of a guy’s house and having to creep home wearing the exact same clothes from the night before. Especially if those clothes happen to be five inch stilettos and a corset.
2. She may never leave. Big problem.

In all seriousness, not being able to string a sentence together, and at least some normal, friendly conversation, communicates to her that you’re uncomfortable with sex. If you feel awkward then she will too. People are like particles and so often give back exactly the same energy that they’ve been given. So if you come across as uncomfortable with the situation (of her waking up in your bed) then she’ll feel uncomfortable too. And no girl wants to hook up with a guy who is ‘weird’ after sex. We want men that are confident and at ease with their sexuality. So instead of ‘sleeping’ as she picks her clothes up and tip-toes out of your room, please be man enough to say:

“Hey, good morning, hope you slept ok? I’ve got a killer headache- I think that’s your fault from encouraging me to drink so much tequila! Here, let me get you a towel so you can grab a shower.”

This statement leads me nicely onto my next point:

Not leading: By leading I mean ‘taking the masculine initiative to take control of the situation’. Not leading is having no clue about what to do with this naked stunner, and so (in your panic) pandering to her every need, and asking her infinite questions about what she wants to do.

Just like not speaking much at all, having no sense of purpose, no plan, the morning after communicates to her that you’re not accustomed to this situation, and that you’re not comfortable with sex.

See how bad this sounds:

Her: “Good morning.”

You: “Hey, good morning, how are you feeling?”

Her: “A little hungover I guess!”

You: “Oh no, can I get you some Tylenol? Aspirin?”

Her: “No it’s ok I’ll survive.”

You: “Ok, how about some coffee? Or I can run to the store and get you some juice?”

Her: “It’s fine, I don’t want you to put yourself out. Besides, I should get to work.”

You: “Ok well if you’re sure. How about I give you a lift? Or would you prefer me to call a cab?”

This is an extreme version, but people do this all the time. And guess what? If this is how you behave, you’ll encounter similar problems to if you don’t communicate at all:

1. Your extreme ‘after care’ service will have her feeling awkward. Your lack of decision making will make her feel uneasy as you appear inexperienced in handling post-lay situations.
2. She may never leave. Big problem.

So let’s look at this constructively. You can still be cool, caring and conversational without appearing needy:

Her: “Good morning.”

You: “Hey, good morning, how are you feeling?”

Her: “A little hungover I guess!”

You: “Ok, now, based on how you were throwing those shots back last night I’m guessing you have no qualms with taking a few aspirin now. Here *hand her the packet*”

Her: “Oh, ok, thanks.”

You: “No problem. Look, I’m going to make myself some coffee and some toast; if you’ve got a moment before work I think you should join me. Three aspirin and no breakfast is a bad combination!”

Her: “Yeah, that would be nice. I’ll just have black coffee if that’s ok?”

You: “Sure. I’ll fix that up whilst you grab a shower. Then I’ll call a cab for you, so we can both be on time today.”

She should respond well to you having a plan. People will naturally comply, if you exhibit enough comfort with your decisions. This also allows you to arrange the morning after just as you want it, and at no stage does that mean you have to be a jerk. Keep your tone of voice friendly and calm and she will respect the decisions you make.

No Morning Sex: Ok there is an exception to this if you’re both physically ill the next day, but for god’s sake if she is stroking your back and snuggling up to you the next morning then have sex again! You’re not a professional football player, you will be ok to have sex before work! There are so many good reasons for this:

1. Give her some good sex memories, especially if the night before was acted out in a drunken haze.
2. You don’t want to appear uncomfortable with sex without your beer goggles on.
3. Waking up fifteen minutes earlier to accommodate for this, is well worth it if she leaves with a smile on her face, and an increased desire to come back again.

So remember get your ‘post-lay’ tactics down so that in a few months time, when I’ve helped to teach you how to get really good at picking women up, you can handle all the hot women you’ll be bringing home.

Hayley Quinn Xx