Posts Tagged ‘text and phone game’



After my last blog I hope your phone is bleeping with new messages from all of the hotties that are texting you back.  Now that you’ve achieved  your first objective (getting her to respond) it’s time to work on how to get her onto a date: because this is where the fun really begins.

OK so when and how do you go for the date?

Let’s deal with the ‘when’ first and in a later blog (hopefully next week if I’m not too busy making booty calls myself)  we’ll deal with ‘how’.

Just like interactions during real life the timing of when you ‘escalate’ is important. Imagine you’ve just locked into set in a bar. How weird would it be for the first thing you say to be asking the girl out on the date? She hasn’t done anything yet to prove her value to you, except from being relatively attractive. And, trust me, there are a lot of relatively attractive girls out there.

But do you know what also kills a set? Not escalating in time. If you sit there talking pleasantly to a girl without at any stage upping your kino, going for a close or just talking more sexually you’re going to be friend zoned badly. The same goes for texts. Whilst you probably don’t want to go for the date straight away, you’ve got to at some stage, or she will stop replying. Why? Because she doesn’t know where the interaction is going, and whilst she may welcome you as a friend into her life, people will generally invest much more in romantic rather than platonic connections.

So when is the right time to go for the date?

Look at the regularity of texts: with my girlfriends I won’t worry about leaving it a while until I get back to them (they’re not going anywhere right?) but I will respond with lightening speed if I want to hook up with someone or close a business deal.

So if you’re phone is exploding with texts that’s a good sign. Obviously not all people are the same though- so if she is ‘playing it cool’ don’t write her off just keep the texts going until you get a different positive sign.

Is she trying to escalate by making sexual references? Counter intuitively it is often the less direct sexual references that are the most important. If she’s putting loads of  J, kisses and calling you affectionate names (like babe, honey or anything else a little sickening!) you may be teetering on the friend zone. A good test of this is ‘does this look like a text she’d send to a female friend?’- just like this one:

Yep unless she is just on a sexual rampage (is she like me?) then girls will often be a little bit more coy with guys they’re really into. Too much affection early on suggests that she is very comfortable with you and may not see you as a sexual threat. If the possibility for sex is there she’ll reference it but in a much more subtle way. If sex is a possibility she won’t want to over commit herself by making it explicit that it’s going to happen.  Instead she’s more likely to sexually qualify herself to you. This could be:

1.       By drawing attention to her physical fitness/ prowess: Any continual references to how she is a gym bunny, just getting into running or has always done yoga because she is flexible could well mean, ‘I’m physically fit and great in bed’. Simple as that. Anything that is slightly teasing or that hints towards how sexy she is, is a good sign:

2.       By drawing attention to how she is becoming more attractive: This could be anything from telling you about a new pair of heels/ manicure she has got (she expects you to be excited and aroused at the prospect of her wearing them):

3.       By telling you she isn’t ‘sexy’ things that qualify herself as a girlfriend to you: Like that she’s a great cook/ loves dancing/ loves football. These things are all seeking your approval and implying that she’d be a great person to have in your life. By complying with what she thinks you like she’s seeking rapport with you:

Has there been a change in her texting habits?: If she has suddenly started replying a lot faster, more frequently, or has initiated a text conversation with you it implies that she could be beginning to see you as a target. If I had a pound for every time the main guy I was interested in dropped off the radar, and I tried to start up a replacement relationship with another guy, I’d be a rich woman. A change in her texting habits could well mean that there has been a change in her personal logistics: she may have broken up with a boyfriend, decided to move on from another man she was interested in, or just decided life’s too short and that she wants to have some fun!

These signals that I’ve spoken about aren’t a hard and fast rule that now is a good time to go for a date: but they are a decent guideline for when is a good time to try. Next week I’ll try and blog about a few suggestions of how to go about getting that date- so I want you all to work this week on getting some numbers for then.

I’m also hoping to be putting on an event with PUA Training very soon in central London to give you more of my advice on text game, conversation skills and what hot women really want. I expect demand for this event to be really high, but any of you guys that take the time to read my posts and comment (something nice :-P) on them will be guaranteed a place.

Until soon,

Text Gamer, Seducer, Conversationalist, Kisser,

Hayley Quinn X

How many times have you got that hot girl’s number, thinking that it’s ON only to get no reply from a girl to your first text? In my first series of blog posts I’m going to give you some top tips on follow-up text game to ensure that not only do you get the girl you want replying, but on a date, and into your bed. But that’s coming a little later, for this week I’m just going to focus on how you can get a reply from the girl. That’s right- just a reply.

Most men make the fundamental error of going for a day two too soon, and get blown out (or simply not text back) because they’ve made too much of a demand from someone they’ve only just met.

Take this text that a guy sent me last month (yes I do save them on my phone and then show them to everyone):

Expecting a girl to rock up in a bikini to a swimming pool is an extreme example of this, but so often guys will ask a woman out to dinner/ to go away with them somewhere/ or just devote a lot of their time to meeting them when really they barely know them.

Think about the circumstances in which you got the number: did she seem nervous? Apprehensive? Reluctant? Often a girl may give you her number because she feels social pressure to do so. Numbers received in this way are what I like to call ‘cold’ numbers. The problem with a ‘cold’ number is that there may not have been enough time during the initial interaction to build sufficient rapport to get her out on a date with you…. let alone into a bikini.

People have busy lives full of competing demands from work, friends, family, and now you texting them. If you’ve just got a girl’s number on the street you have to be realistic that you may be low on her priority list, and competing against a doctor’s appointment, a work deadline, or a friend going through a break-up. Think carefully. Was there that spark of sexual energy when you got her number? Did you k-close or f-close her on your initial meeting? Has she text you? Or did she ask for your number? If so I’d probably classify this as a ‘warm’ interaction which I’ll discuss in a later blog post- but right now I’m going to focus on numbers that have been got when the woman isn’t already nearly certain that she wants to see you again.

If you just about got her number in a rush, if she seemed to hesitate when she gave it to you, or if there has been no significant sexual escalation yet (such as a kiss) then you need to pay attention to this. You need to build more rapport- you need to engage with her and build up a text dialogue. Your first mission isn’t to get her into bed at this stage; it’s to get her to respond. If you go straight in and ask a girl for a date then it’s a high demand to make off of someone who was uncertain about you.

Say she receives this text from you straight away:

“Hey babe, what are you up to tonight??xx”

She is going to panic and not reply. There are several reasons why:

1. You’ve made a demand of her straight away. You’ve gone right for the date, though you barely know her.

2. Worst of all it’s a non-specific date. This is scarier to a woman than a date that is clear, like meeting for a coffee/ a drink. If she says she is free tonight then she will feel social pressure to agree to whatever ‘date’ you suggest. Problem is, at this stage she maybe so worried about what date you could suggest (‘Do I really want to go to dinner with that guy I met in the street yesterday?’) that she is more likely to not respond, or make an excuse for why she might be busy (‘Maybe. But my friend and I were planning…’)

As she doesn’t want to commit to something she can’t fulfill on, she won’t reply.

Here is another classic example of how a non-specific text can come across as scary to a girl:

I mean, this guy probably did just want to go for a walk, right? Maybe try and kiss me by the Thames. Or alternatively murder me, and throw me in the Thames. Unfortunately for him, I was so worried about the second option that I never replied again. If he had tried to build rapport first, then gone for a far less demanding and more specific date the outcome could have been very different.

You can do this by trying to show some interest in her generally as a person first. People don’t react well to being asked to be somewhere at a certain time if you barely know them. Instead try and start that dialogue i.e:

“Hey Lena, how’s your crazy student life been this week? You were definitely the second most interesting person I spoke to yesterday btw… Luke from the 13.05 Train”

“Hey Kate, I hope you out planked those novices you were queueing up with. I’m treating myself to a post-gym protein bar, imagining it’s a snickers. Marcus from Yoga”

“Hey Rebecca, had to ask if you made that lecture today? I’m proud I made it to work/gym after you cruelly made me party at Tiger Tiger til 3am. Mike who drank a lot of tequila”

This style of messages are all designed to make it easy for her to reply. You do this in a similar way to how you would make good conversation:

1. Make some statements about yourself: give her a little information about your day/ what you’ve done recently so that she gets to know you.

2. Make this information about yourself relatable: most people have drunk too much, had a hectic day at work or done an activity like going to the gym/ commuting. By making a reference to these things she will feel like you share a perspective on something, which will create rapport.

3. If possible, tie this relatable statement to the circumstances under which you met: from your initial interaction figure out what she maybe interested in. For instance if you met her in a nightclub talk about what you were drinking/ the music they were playing/ your hangover, if you met her out shopping try what you brought/ what it was for/ style and fashion.  This will hopefully work to remind her of the pleasant, friendly vibe of your initial interaction.

4. An even more effective way of doing this is to tie your text to the conversation you shared with her when you last met: If she mentioned something to you in conversation like what she was up to that day, or if you shared a joke or some rapport over a certain topic recall it in the text. This is effectively jump starting the conversation again from where you last left it as you raced off to catch your bus, or stumbled out of a club at 3am.

5. Also always keep the tone of the text friendly, light hearted and upbeat as texts can be easy to misconstrue negatively. Remember she can’t hear your tone of voice on a text and at this early stage in texting you don’t want to put her off by being at all negative. Remember you don’t want her to feel confused, bemused, or pressurized when she receives a text from you. Give her some value: make her smile.

6. Particularly if the number is ‘cold’ I’d also advise texting her soon. Leave it two days before you make contact and rather than seeming blasé she may have forgotten a lot of the positive feelings she would have received from the initial approach.

7. If you have left it a while before you text her, you may also want to nickname yourself so that she remembers who you are. Nicknames are best created out of the circumstances of the initial interaction i.e. ‘Blue Umbrella Michael’, ‘Waterstones Ed’, ‘Tiger Tiger Andy’.

Ok guys next time I am going to write about how to go for the day two now that you’ve got that text conversation flowing. In the future I’ll also hopefully be covering ping game, teasing and challenging via text. If there is any other area of text game you want to hear about then please leave a comment below for me to give you my best HB opinion on. Hopefully you’ll be hearing a lot more from me on text game, conversation skills and seduction in the future.

Text gamer, conversationalist, and girl kisser

Hayley Quinn X

**Update – Blog comment free bootcamp competition winner will be announed tomorrow, I need a little more time to make this tough decision!**

I wanted to write a post about the early stages of relationships, i’m talking about the time after you get the number and before the point where you can relax and say “okay she’s mine” where she answers all your calls and is happy to see you all the time.

An important thing is this phase is keeping your attractiveness and making sure your emotional investment in her doesn’t exceed what she feels for you.  If she sees that you like her more than she likes you, it can kill attraction.  It would be pretty straightforward but women often throw curveballs at you in this phase and it’s easy to make a few mistakes and lose a potential relationship.

The situation:  You’ve met them and had this amazing time, the connection is great and she is very into you.  She gives tonnes of IOIs and you think you are very much in there.  You look into each others’ eyes and feel the s|xual tension and your feelings growing.  Then you part ways.

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