5 Ways To Make An Impact On The First 60 Seconds Of The Approach

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Every guy I’ve met during a bootcamp or through my seminars tends to focus on the wrong thing when learning how to pick up women. Actually it’s more like a handful of “wrong” things.

One of those things is running out of things to say or trying to think of clever, original and funny things to say so the girl doesn’t run off during mid conversation.

Although building rapport is hugely important for building trust, creating attraction and eventually closing, it’s nowhere near as important as the first initial 60 seconds of the approach itself.

I want to break it down for you and help you to understand how you can make sure that those first few seconds of you stopping her, opening your mouth and transitioning into rapport are vital.

What we want to do in the first minute of the approach

1. Convey intentions – If you’re on the street doing daygame then the only guys that will most likely try and stop her are sales/charity people, so you need to make sure that she understands you’re not one of those people by stating why you stopped her. If you’re in a nightclub, it’s a little different, so forcing an IOI will soften the approach before you even open your mouth.

2. Keep her engaged – The moment she loses interest in what you’re saying or doing in that small amount of time, she will make it known with her body language and will make her excuses to leave. We want to keep her engaged by standing in a certain way and talking to her with intent.

3. Gauge her reaction – Most guys won’t be able to read her subtle body movements, facial expressions or voice tonality which gives you everything you need to build attraction. Girls give out these signals immediately, it’s up to us to read them and decide what to do next. Are you too close? Step back and give her some space… are you not looking at her? Lock eyes and keep her focused on you.

4. Transition to rapport – After that initial minute is up, we want to either move into building rapport (if we like the girl) or make our excuses to leave. This can be very easy during the day, but a little bit trickier at night depending on the setup/club/bar/social circle etc.

How to make the most of those 60 seconds

Now we know what we want to have happen in those first moments of the interaction, we now need to look at how we can make the most of it, so that she doesn’t get scared or bored and just leave.

1. Spot the girl and observe – See the girl you like, observe her (what she’s wearing, how she’s acting, what she looks like etc) and have something ready in your mind that you want to say. Indirect, direct… it doesn’t matter.

2. Go over to her without thinking too much – Before approach anxiety kicks in, focus on the steps it takes to get to her by counting in your mind. 1…2…3…4…..5….boom your standing in from of her.

3. Open with a firm voice and open body language – Always gesture to stop her from moving forward if you’re in the street or to grab her attention in a loud club. Whilst looking into her eyes and holding a confident stance, open with your observation. Your shoulders need to be back, chest out, firm stance and voice projected.

4. Look into her eyes (one is better, stay focused on it) – Never lose focus on the goal, always keep your eyes locked on hers. The eyes can say so much about someone, they can also cause sexual tension to go crazy, so keep locked on one of her eyes so you don’t make yourself dizzy.

5. Continue to observe and take mental notes – While she is speaking, take mental notes of what she’s wearing, how she’s acting, what she reminds you off etc and use those as hook points during the rest of the conversation.

By now you will be over the 60 second mark and you’re in!

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  1. Thanks again and again much appreciated ;)

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