Getting A Girlfriend Is Very Different To Just Finding Girls To Have Sex With, Here’s Why

What is the difference between finding a girl you can have a serious relationship with and finding a girl (or several girls) you just want to sleep with?

Well, in all honesty they are two very different things. In my experience anyway.

Depending on what you want in a girl, there are two paths you can take and each path comes with it’s own set of beliefs and rules that you need to stick by. It’s important that you don’t mix the two, because you will just end up feeling conflicted and you’ll never achieve the desired outcome.

So let’s discuss the two types of guys here:

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Guy 1: Wants to get laid

This guy has a very simple objective, he wants to sleep with as many women as possible, by talking to them during the day, in bars/clubs and through his social circle. This is the type of guy that most men want to be at some point in their lives.

1. Present yourself as an attractive male for a couple of hours

It’s really easy to come across as an attractive male for a short period of time. Long enough to reach your objective of sleeping with a girl anyway. Depending on the types of girls you go for it should be fairly easy. Just make sure you’re dressed the part, you feel confident, you don’t drink too much and make a fool of yourself, you’re funny enough. That sort of thing.

2. Build rapport

You want to focus on building rapport, so that the girl trusts you. If you’re in a social circle you can use your wingman or an attractive friend (who happens to be a girl) then this will be done for you and it makes your interaction with her much easier. The better your rapport skills, the more likely she will be happy to talk to you and feel invested in you.  However, too much rapport can lead to too much emotional connection, which is bad if you are not serious about her…so find a balance.

3. Keep dialing up the attraction/sexual tension

You want to keep dialing up the attraction from the moment you meet a girl you want to sleep with. Be very tactile, flirtatious, close the proximity, use eye contact, lead her etc. The more you keep dialing up the attraction and sexual tension, the easier it will be to get her back to your place.

4. Figure out logistics

Your logistics should be pre-planned prior to you even leaving your apartment. You need to figure out how far you need to travel, if you have alcohol back at yours, if the lighting is right, heating is on and it’s comfortable.

5. Keep your options open

The key to sleeping with different women on a regular basis is having options. By having more than one woman in your life who you can sleep with, it does two things 1) gives you a sense of confidence because you’re not dependent on one woman, so there’s no desperate vibe and 2) gives you a backup plan if a girl you’ve been working on falls through.

Guy 2: Wants a girlfriend

This guy is tired of sleeping around, he’s had his fun and wants to settle down with a girl. His objective is to date a girl who could potentially be his wife one day and maybe even the mother to his children.

1. What type of girl do you want?

Be specific with the type of girl that you want, because she is out there. Do you want her to be beautiful, intelligent and a health nut? Are there any specific interests you want her to have? Describe your ideal woman in detail.

2. Meeting environment

Where would this type of girl be? Now you have your ideal girlfriend in mind, it will make it easier for you to find her. For example, if you want a healthy girl then you need to be going to the gym more, group classes, yoga, organic restaurants etc. That type of girl might not be in a nightclub at 3am or an after party.

3. Focus on developing yourself

Who do you need to become before you can attract the type of girl you want? Think about it for a second, what type of man does this future girlfriend of yours want? Can you honestly say you are everything a girl wants? If there’s an area of your life that you’re not happy with, chances are she won’t be either. So you need to work your weaker areas.

4. Your social circle (Female and male friends)

Everyone has a friend who is single. If you have your social circle on point, then you will naturally meet another single girl through your social circle and it will require minimal effort to go on a date with her, simply because you come recommended from a friend. The trust has been built and she has a picture in her head of who you might be.

5. Don’t change what you do

Be the same around girls you want to make your girlfriend as you are with girls you just want to sleep with. This is important because if you decide to take the girls you really like to fancy restaurants or you decide not to kiss them on the first date, you’re going to risk making mistakes which could turn her off.


It’s important to remember that meeting women you just want to sleep with and women you could potentially make your girlfriend, should be treated in two completely different ways. The moment you treat them as the same thing, the harder it will be for you to get what it is you want most.

  • To sleep with more women: Be attractive, use sexual tension, figure out logistics, have options.
  • To get a girlfriend: Define who you are, define what type of girl you want, don’t change your game, tap into your social circle.

What did you think of the video? Let me know in the comments below.

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  1. Hey Rich,

    Its been a while man and the crazy thing is I just got out of a long term relationship, so this whole time you’ve been gone I was also gone. Now you are coming with more new content from a different angle for those of us who aren’t fans of the nightclub scenes. I can’t see myself getting back into the game and you are coming in for the save! Always respected your work and look forward gaining knowledge for a quality love lifestyle. Thanks


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