Good Girls Versus Bad Girls

Look at any woman’s magazine – there’ll be all kinds of articles telling girls how to find Mr Right. Blokes don’t really talk about the female equivalent – but we should. Rather than just concentrating on looks – and, yes, if a girl is smoking hot her looks can cover up other minor flaws – you should consider a list of the qualities that you are looking for. There will come a time when you want a girlfriend, a good quality girl who you can have a deeper connection with. How can he find this kind of girl?

Traits Of Good Quality Girls:

1. Appearance

Well groomed and fashionable is a good thing. But if a girl spends hours getting ready, wears brand-heavy clothes and has tons of accessories and jewellery? Well, that equals at least high maintenance and usually trouble. Think about it like this: while she is spending two hours getting ready, a really good quality girl is reading a book, painting, doing a class, or otherwise improving herself for you.

The time she takes to get ready means her looks are very important to her, so maybe they are her prime – if not only – asset! What others think of her is probably also important – she might have self-esteem and confidence issues. She might be the type of girl who needs to be chatted up by lots of men to give her an ego boost. Maybe not the kind of girl you want to be involved in?

My ideal girl is fashionable without over-branding, takes twenty minutes to get ready, and has only a light dusting of make-up.

2. Behaviour

No-one likes a sloppy drunk. The amount a girl drinks is definitely a factor.  If she gets drunk and she isn’t in control of herself, you wouldn’t want to date her – would you be able to sleep at night if she was out with her friends getting hammered?

Similarly, what should you do if she makes eyes at the club security or the bouncers? Steer clear. No good quality girl will find guys like this attractive.

3. Social Interaction:

Is she having fun with her friends or is she out on the pull? A lot of girls I know go out with their friends for a fun time and are not always on the prowl for men. Girls like to dance and be sociable. Other girls go to the club for one reason – to find men.

They’re easily distinguishable by how much fun they’re having:

  • Are they focused on each other or are they subtly checking out the men?
  • Do they enjoy dancing or do they have they no rhythm and only want to put on a show for the men?

4. Interactions With Men

There is a simple rule here: the harder to get she is, the better she’ll be for you. You definitely want a girl to be fussy. If she’ll let any guy buy her a drink, dance with her or chat her up then she has the potential to cheat on you.

When you approach, it’s actually better if she doesn’t open up to you or kiss you until you’ve made a connection – something unique that she couldn’t have with just any guy.

I hope this helps you find the right kind of girl for you.

Remember, the party girl might not be what you’re looking for in a serious girlfriend but she has all the characteristics for a good time… I hope this gives you some food for thought.

Whether you want the good girl, or the party girl, you probably want a *really* hot one, like a 9 or 10.  My Secrets to Getting 9s and 10s will tell you exactly how to do just that.  Check it out as part of my Best Deal Ever.

Until next time,


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  1. maltinger says:

    Hey Gabmbler,

    I as a rule do very much enjoy your blog, your theory and the values you do display at it.

    I am afraid though I do take a bit of issue with this one. We are here, on a PUA blog (Pick-up-artist !!!) and there is judgement on women who do like to have sex and pick men up!?!?!? No, they are the ones that actually truly connect with us. As long , and this is important, everything is transparanet, honest and open, this is OK. These women some might call sl*ts. I hate that word. Society tells us if a guy sleeps with many women he is a stud, but vice versa different rules apply? No, they do not. I salute the girls who live their sexuality open!! The girl I am at the moment most interested in has made no(!) pretense whatsoever that she will sleep with other guys, just as I have made no pretense that I might sleep with other girls. And yes, following that, we had sex. And I would argue that we connected, quite deeply; where we go from here, we will see, it is all open.

    But in short, it is honesty of intention that counts, and then for me a ‘good girl’ is a ‘party girl’, one with whom I can actually discuss the ins and outs of ‘pick-up’ and life and learning, especially sexually and confidence-wise. A ‘good girl’..? Hmm, boring. A good girl for me is a party girl who tells me the rules, the boundaries and that enjoys life and encourages me to do the same. That challenges me and lets me challenge her. So we will grow and experience and learn together.

    A lot comes down to jealeousy. And for me that is the fear of the loss of love. As long as I know that that is not a question, why should I have fear just because someone else had sex with her (SAFELY) or me with someone else (again, SAFELY)…? Loss of love….well, that is my red line.

    So please, please do not talk down these women that for you might not work, but that I find much more on a level to me. Because they rock, and they are not afraid to have fun. Why should I mind, if I am involved in the fun….?

  2. thanks much man for the advice, but i still fell like i dont know what to do. my face ecomes fully red when i see a hot girl, and the hotter she is the more diffcult it become when u approch, and it is so embarssing when she says no.

  3. I'm somewhat on the same page as you Abbe. I have not had many girlfriends, and I am looking for a girl to hook up with. I've gotten advice from some PUA's before, over the phone and they're telling me to just be myself. I am myself around certain women, and those are the ones I get the phone number from. When you're around a hot girl, don't care about the fact that she's hot. Treat her like you'd treat any girl; be respectful. Yes you can crack a joke here and there, but you have to be very careful with the jokes. Try to make the women smile.

  4. how about, if u just wanna get any girl?. and by that i dont mean anything. i just feel like getting any girl, may be because i have never had a girlfriend before. all i want is to kno how to be funny sleep with any girl i want at any time.

  5. i dont fancy girls who play so hard to get.I would only try twice,but now i think i've lost the right choices for me.Gooood article.dont thing that some tyms they mean it when they turn you down?

  6. shut up u prick all cos u cant pull without following some dickhead who is after your money , me pay fuckkkk offf mate all cos u do , u sick cunt . dont be finking im lieing cos u no it jelousy cos u would rather no beileve i done it becoz that would me your a even uglier cunt that u fort in the first place so dont try it u nosy prick . swear down all u's are dickheads i stopped looking at this shit long ago i only commenting back cos it comes up in ma email but mate do ya self a favour dont get fuckin brave cos i bet if we were face to face u wudent say shitttttttttt . n what is ur name about u mum has got sum fucked name choices

  7. jordan good for u but what were their names haircolors and eyecolors. and jordan… did u pay these women?

  8. suck my dick i didt use ne of the techniqes taught by any dickhead i just was maself n friday just got i hooked up wid 4 girls in one day and this was all cold day aproching , n the funni thing is i didt get rejected once .

  9. No offense, Sunjunkie, but you sound kind of young and ADHD-like (but maybe I'm just older). George said it right, but I would just add a few things: The social proof you display with flirting and attracting different guys in one setting is proof to WOMEN but NOT men. The guy you're with and a lot of the guys in the place will just think you're untrustworthy. Some guys might become jealous, and though some women may like this or use it as a manipulative tool, it usually leads to problems. If you keep on doing these things when you're out with the guy, he will get upset and leave.

    I'm acquainted with plenty of bouncers who seem like decent guys, but I do cringe when I find out the girl I'm attracted to hooked up with 1 or more bouncers she didn't know. Although I'm handsome and "a good catch", I'm not a big ass bouncer, so I would think this girl is attracted to these guys' superficial qualities and likewise prone to cheat.

  10. eyob amberbire says:

    hey men you are funny .let me ask or beg you one thing i need girl friend would you help me?

  11. Hi,buddy and dude I think that it's your age rather to have the fun because my age is 35 years,and I had all the real fun in my 12 years of proffession,I am a Civil Engineer cum Safety engineer,"MY NAME IS SAMEER SHAIKH",in India as well as abroa,well that was until marraige,I'm a father of a kidafter marraige I'm quiet dedicated to my family,my proffession,I'm hardly looking out for any girls rather when I was quiet young neither now when I'm 35 of age,rather they call me ask for dates but I'm quiet sincere to my family and proffession,hence hardly have my night-mares with anyone.

  12. i actulli think that this is over top u thinking too deep ,u cant analis everythink otherwise things wud be boring , and u cant alwais stay in ur comfort zone , sometimes u have to experiance things so u can find some1 right and if u have certain things that u want u might taker u longer to find some1 right cos ur so fixated on this perfect girl in ur head this is too much i rated ur posts but this is actulli gone to far , pua is a bout giveing tips on how to do better not turn guys into a fuckin robot . and doin all this shit and that ur actulli fake ur not bein yaself do u realie wana no u pulled a girl bein sum1 ur not . cos u if u pulled a girl cos she liked u for u this a garenteed to go alot smoother becoz u aint bein fake to urself. n u need to realise alot of thease tactics and that aint guna pull u the ideal girl , n thease tactics might not be right for u so i sat fuck it be urself u live once dont go by rules and what to do n what not to do live by ur own rules thease rules might work for gambler but there his own rules , u need to go out there be urself and wen that day comes wen u meet a girl that u conect with on every level u no u done that out of bein a genuine person . seriously i dont no why i signed up to dis shit no offence gambler but this aint the way forward i no ive tryed ur shit befor and bought a few things but im tellin u guys if think this is guna get u a perfect girl any quicker dan bein urself ur wrong .

  13. .

  14. thats definitely true!!…keep up the work!!!

  15. George Rosebush says:

    To SunJunkie:
    So you say you have a problem keeping them? I think I might know exactly why (just consider this is based solely on what you've told us, I don't really know you)."I also believe that many girls are overly flirtatious with guys to gain ’social proof’…In fact, if a girl behaves like this around you, I’m guessing she REALLY likes you and wants you to know that you’re on to a good thing!" This all sounds good, but that's not the way we tend to see it. Guys don't look for social proof beyond having friends and a basic social life. If you look attractive, that's enough, there's no need to prove that guys are into you by being overly flirtatious, you're most likely just pissing the guy off. Hope that helps.

  16. ok… what if i kissed with the girl on the first time we meet, we did a lot of things, and she was having a boyfriend?

    could it be that i was great, or she is easy? (im great… but still i have that question xD)

    mmm even if she is good friend of her friends… things like that could help her to be the good one or the bad one?

  17. SunJunkie says:

    Haiia Adam :)

    Well, bouncers have a pretty bad rep for being serious PLAYAS, and I guess they are viewed as unsafe bets because they are faced with too much temptation on a nightly basis! I mean, if your boyf works in a place where he is surrounded by chicks that are glammed up to the max, a lil drunk and for some reason bouncers always appear HAWT – maybe it's the uniform, the power, the authority etc! so inevitably girls tend to throw themselves at them. And it always seems to be underage girls who aren't old enough to know better – I've been there!! Who wants to have to deal with the constant paranoia of "OMG, what if the temptation to no strings sex gets too much for him tonight…" ?! Also, a lot of bouncers have done time, or are shady characters – sorry! – so are maybe not always viewed as bringing home to meet the parents kinda guys! Not all though, once a friend of mine got so wAAsted she puked all over herself, fell asleep in the toilets, lost her bag and one of the bouncers actually drove her the whole way home, what a gent!! :)

  18. Hey I'm a bouncer…why wouldn't a quality girl like a guy like me? Lol…

  19. SunJunkie says:

    Hey Perfection,

    Thanks for the comment, glad to be onboard! Man, it's so funny that guys and girls JUST DON'T GET IT! We all want to accomplish the same goal, yet the processes we go through to achieve it are so frikkin different! I don't understand guys either – the age old problem of everything going A-OK then inexplicably they lose interest. I'll def be a regular poster – I'm addicted to this shizzle!! :)

  20. Perfection says:

    To SunJunkie,what you wrote was really funny and made alot of sense to me ,I find girls really complicated and hard to understand which is why I'm a member of this blog,what Gambler and his team teach is amazing stuff but there is hardly any girl members ,good to have you on the blog.Keep on posting because it's good to read posts from girls.

  21. SunJunkie says:

    Hi guys,

    I gotta comment on this – I’m what you may call a cross between the girl next door and a party girl. I’m from a wealthy area, have a good job, dress fashionably (without being a fashion victim) and I can look pretty hot on occasion!! However I’m prone to getting a lil drunk…! I HAVE to disagree with the comment that girls who get loud, hyperactive and generally a lil crazy are NOT girlfriend material! I like to attract attention – who doesn’t, right? But I would NEVER go out and cheat if I had a boyfriend. I also believe that many girls are overly flirtatious with guys to gain ‘social proof’, to show that they are attractive, desirable and popular – it’s NOT all about getting phone numbers and meeting as many guys as possible. In fact, if a girl behaves like this around you, I’m guessing she REALLY likes you and wants you to know that you’re on to a good thing! I’m taking on board your thoughts though, I don’t have any problem attracting guys but I have real issues keeping them. I’m pretty sure it’s not down to any ‘bunny boiler’ tendancies – so maybe I’m viewed as a party girl, and not girlfriend material. Thanks guys, will work on it and keep you posted!! x x

  22. Perfection says:

    Thanks Richard,I like the girl next door look ,well actually I like the girl next door to my house but she has a boyfriend but I think she likes me ,she gives me indicators of interest!

  23. How to recognize she’s fussy or she is menhater?

    Good Girl. What does it mean EXACTLY for you? Be very precise, please.
    Good Girl for a LTR, ONS, or whatever?

    In my world the girl can do many things with me really fast ’cause I like treat the well and I don’t look on this case through slow or quick pick up point of view. I always contrate on the quality of experience, not time.

    I heard one rule – the more bitchy she is the more her pussy is only for you.

    Appearance – I think more important is the vibe she sends to other people. I think you had felt something like the metaframe message from woman – “I need a ego bost”, or “I know I am smoking hot so I you want to play with me you have to be really good” or “I need some stranger”. For me it doesn’t metter how many hours she spends in front of mirror, because if got my own things to do and I am to busy checking her “mirror-time”. I like when she wants to be hot for me and making me proud of her.

    For me there’s no diffrence why she is in a club cause woman is always ready for a better option. I know how many valuable (for a quality of her life experience) qualities I have to offer and I am giving her a choice – She can take it or not. Whatever she choose I will be happy, cause I’ve got my own life. It’s an invitation. Not command.

    If you’ve got a big value for her there’s no place for a bullshit like – “I don’t date with people met in a club” or “I am with my friends” or “My cat is drunked”.

    “If she’ll let any guy buy her a drink, dance with her or chat her up then she has the potential to cheat on you.” It doesn’t meand that she will cheat you, maybe she is just a “smart” taking free drinks or she is tring to be nice and don’t want to tell “fuck off” to the other guy at the beginning.

    Did you write sth about how to recognize party girl of good girl. Cause in my opinion spliting women on party or not party girls is giving another mental obstacle. I ve met many quality women in club so I’ve got different experiences.

    I am looking forward to hearing from you.


    Feniks, Poland

  24. What I like about this article is that it makes you think about what YOU want.
    The mindset when approaching the set is not "am I going to be good enough for her?", but try to find the qualities in her that you like after you've built some comfort and are hooked in the set.
    Having that confidence in knowing what kind of girl entices you naturally frames the conversation into her qualifying for YOU.


    – – Roo

  25. what do u do when you have fallen for a girl so hard you dont want to see anyone else, but her. and she is with a boyfriend

    goes to the same school=multiple oppertunities

    tips: for getting past her friends and boyfriend

  26. Just to clarify what I'm saying is I dont believe you can safeguard yourself against women cheating- just like women cant protect themselves from women cheating, its a fact of life like why so many marriages end in divorce. Sorry to be Negative :)

  27. Fantastic general advice, but I too would have to disagree with point 4. Any girl has the potential to cheat on you, I really don't see how dancing, drinking etc. with other guys is a clear indicator of her behaviour in the future, shes out to enjoy herself right? its far more complex than that. Also just because a girl is easy to get doesnt necessarily mean she is any less value or will cheat. What if the girl is naturally attracted to you from the get go, without running any such 'game'. Id like to be able to understand point 4 and I kind of do to some extent, but isnt this a bit too general? T

  28. Dear Gambler,

    Im a Uni student and have been following your techniques and they are working really well.
    Recently meet this girl, about 2 weeks ago, have meet up with her twice, first time in a club, and second time (2 days ago) we went out had a meal and went back to her place, used the techniques you have mentioned in your previous posts and manage to get into her bed, we didn’t have sex that night but did most of the other things before you do have sex, was a very good night. however, in the morning one of her male friend came by and got quite angry about the situation, she said to me that they are just friends, so i ignored him and left, the next day (yesterday) i went to the event she had previously (about a week ago) asked me to go to with her friends, but the entire night she was hanging around that guy who got angry about the situation, i went and talk to her but the club was too noisy so i said we will talk later. i started talking to one of her friend and he said that there must be something going on between them because they are always with each other
    Today, i said to her “if you like that person, then i m fine with just being friends” and she didn’t give me an answer.
    she doesn’t drink or smoke, so she was aware of what was happening that day. Do you think shes just playing me? I really do like this girl, What do you think i should do?

  29. Haha, Hey Adam, yeah i've regretted this one after emails from bouncers! lol.

  30. Yeah all makes sense to me :) apart from ''what should you do if she makes eyes at the club security or the bouncers? Steer clear. No good quality girl will find guys like this attractive''? I'm a bouncer so what's wrong with me? lol

  31. I see what you are saying Gambler. But I am also concerned about the not so social girls.

    A) A girl I am seeing who does not go out much, and when she is with me she gives 100% of her attention to me – and other guys stay away. I get the feeling that except for people she meets in her work she is basically a loner, a lot like myself. But she told me that before me she would always have two boyfriends simultaneously, because no one guy was ever the “full package” that she was looking for. And before her I always felt kind of the same way towards girls I would go out with….

    B) A girl I am in the “friend” zone with, who was very social out at the club when I met her, but who finally slept with me once out of jealousy from other girls hitting on me two prior times we went out, and who (except for the first time we met) just has not been social with other people at all when we go out to clubs, even though I am. I know she sees other guys because she tells me about them, but I would not be able to tell otherwise.

    C) In the elevator at a hotel I was staying at I listened to two very hot girls talking about their friend who is on the trip with them always tells her boyfriend that she is faithful when travelling on business – but that she brings another guy with on those trips (including this one), and they (these two girls on the elevator) just can not understand how the guy at home has no clue! And her third guy, well, she is not serious about him anyway…hmmm.

    In other words, a not so social girl is absolutely capable of cheating without her guy knowing about it, is what I am concerned about.

  32. And I do state that honesty is of paramount importance, so I also feel like they do not try too hard to hide things from me, lol. (And I stay honest as well, though it makes me and the girl wince a bit sometimes.)

  33. Thank you Gambler.
    I may take you up on your offer too, if you ever go to San Diego (where she lives; I live in Houston).
    I know exactly that feeling, where something is just a little off, and I have had girls tell me about having the same feeling with me, lol!

  34. Gambler,

    This was my first time to your blog- and I really appreciate your response!

    And if you're ever in the Midwest (U.S.) I may even take you up on the test seduction offer- I mean she could cheat with worse guys right? ha!

  35. Wow Stephen good stuff, now we are getting a little more advanced.
    There is a book called "Telling lies" You can also study some NLP. I always tell girls when I meet them that if it is an important issue, I ALWAYS know when someone is lying. If there is a situation I feel a little bit funny about, I wait until we are face to face and then ask them directly and look for their reaction. The pressure that they know that I can always tell like a human lie detector, as well as the pressure of lying makes them slip up.

    Other factors affect girls' cheating. If they are overly attracted to "player types" and have had plenty of "asshole player" boyfriends then that kind of guy will be able to get them again. If they meet most of their men in clubs. If they have guys around who obviously are attracted to them but she just says "my friends".

    You also want to ask what happened with exes. If the ex dumped them, that is awful it means she might want to get back with him, and at some point he might want that too and at a minimum they could sleep together.

    It's a mine field! The main thing to do is to pick as good girls as possible and be very sensitive to the situation. The guy in scenario C i'm sure doesn't have this sensitivity and doesn't realise that she is taking her best clothes and evening wear and sexy underwear on the trip and when he calls her in the night he can't tell that there is something slightly off in her tone! And when he asks if she is looking forward to the trip. When you know someone, little things set off alarm bells and you might not consciously be able to say exactly what it is but something will just feel slightly off.

    If any guys want us to try and seduce their girlfriends and tell you if they are cheaters or not, let us know! haha!

  36. Hughes, there is a difference between general socailising and being open to quick physical things. A girl who flirts, touches a lot, gives IOIs and is open to being approached by strangers in a night club is the kind of girl I am talking about. It's really a specific environment that is designed for cheating!!
    I guess if she is generally sociable and is friendly with guys that come and talk to her in a bar, then i'd class that as a bad thing. I want my girlfriend to realise that you don't make friends with strange men in bars and clubs!

    A natural extravert girl who is not a party girl is probably not much to worry about in this area so you should be fine!

  37. Gambler,

    Would you say that #4 applies if a girl is NOT a party girl, like literally doesn't drink, but does seem to chat openly with strangers, male or female? I like that she's outgoing, and I did not meet her on a pick-up, but I have always felt a little wary about her making herself susceptible to guys even though she seems trustworthy in other areas.. Any thoughts would be appreciated, though I know that this is only a brief description of the scenario.

    I agree on all the other points too- I think this type of stuff is very helpful to the guys who are looking for wisdom for the long term.


  38. Cheers Brister!

    Hey Stephen,
    Thanks. I stand by what I say. I meet tons of girls in London clubs and obviously a girl that wouldn't kiss me in 1 minute would be better for a girlfriend than one that would. If she is going to keep up the party lifestyle when she is with you, there is a good chance she would cheat on you.
    It's like me in the past. When it took me 2 weeks to be ready to go for the kiss, it would take a lot of pre-planning to cheat. Now if I have a girlfriend and go out without her, it takes literally 5 seconds so it's harder not to cheat. Make sense?

    Dave, look out for a mail about that, it's one of my specialties!

  39. Hey Gambler!,

    Please write about "How to change a female friend to gf", I have bunch of them dont know what to do with them! I can easily go out with them but you know nothing happens!. I know Im not a wuss, I stopped being needy for a long time now and I try to pretend to be a rebel, but still no results! . HELP!

  40. Good advice overall, but I have to take issue with Item 4.
    In my life, the "harder" to get girls were also harder to have relationships with, harder to please, harder to be around, just plain harder period. And not making me any harder, lol!

    Just because a girl is easy for me does NOT mean she is easy for everyone else, as I have found with most relationships I have had my entire life. If a girl is properly attracted by me, she will let me determine just how hard or easy she will be for anyone else to get, lol….

    But absent that, kissing or sleeping with the opposite sex is just something that (most) human beings do … no point in passing judgement on how she is before me. But if she does not respect my wishes, it tends to be pretty obvious pretty quick, at least for me.

  41. Great article… i have found it of huge interest and really helpful now that i'm trying to make hot girls, that don't suit, my friends…

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