HELP, My Ex Is Stalking Me! It’s Making Me Depressed [Reader Question]

Things could get ugly if you don't end it now

Things could get ugly if you don’t end it now

Today I have a question from a reader who is having issues with an Ex. Now I’ve covered crazy ex girlfriends in detail before who want nothing more than to make your life hell. But the ex mentioned in this guys question is a little different, she’s the needy smothering type.

You know, the type of woman that doesn’t take a hint. She still loves you… realises that she misses you and wants you back in her life so tries to make things return back to normal, even though you don’t want anything to do with her.

Anyway, let’s get on with the question.

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Reader question

Hey Richard,

I broke up with my ex girlfriend like a year ago now. She broke up with me and said that she wanted to focus on work and improving herself (I have no idea what that means, but whatever). Anyway, I was pretty cut up about it for the first 6 months as I loved the girl and we dated for over 3 years.

After a short break with some friends, going to the gym, being more social etc, I got over her. To this day, I don’t think about her romantically or want to be with her anymore. Now, for whatever reason, over the past month or so, she has been making an effort to get in touch with me by texting and calling. She has even gone so far as to find out the gym I use and is now using the same gym! I’m seeing her at my gym (unintentionally) at least 3 times a week and it’s driving me mad.

Oh yeah and she called my friend up to see how he was, because she said she hasn’t spoken to him in a while. It’s very strange and I feel like I’m being stalked.

It’s actually starting to make me feel very anxious and depressed as I feel like I can’t get on with my life or meet new women without her popping up like a crazy person. I’m trying my best to ignore her, but she’s not taking the hint. How the hell do I get this woman off my back and stop talking to me?

Thanks,
Adam

My advice

So this seems like it could get pretty serious if you let things continue without telling her to stop. So I’m going to tell you what to do so she gets the message without being an asshole or pissing her off (that could harm you even more if she takes it the wrong way, you could be dealing with a crazy woman).

Cleanup your social media accounts

  1. Do you follow her? If so, then you need to unfollow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. You need to cut her out and let her know that you aren’t playing game, plus you’re NOT interested anymore.
  2. Are you friends still? Unfriend her. If she’s as annoying as you say, then it should be no problem to just unfriend her on Facebook. If you think un-friending her is harsh, then just block her or change the settings so that she can’t comment or like your photos/videos/status updates.

Block her email

  1. Blacklist her email: Take her email address and blacklist it in your email account. Gmail, Yahoo, AOL, mail.com, Apple Mail. They all allow you to add an email address to a list that sends emails straight to junk or spam. When she doesn’t get a reply from you, she’ll stop using that method of contact.

Cut ties on the phone

  1. Delete her number from your phone: You should also delete it from your computer or cloud contacts so that when you sync or backup your device, her number won’t reappear.
  2. Block her: Make sure you block her number on WhatsApp and also through the phone contacts feature. This means that if she tries to call or text, she will be unsuccessful in doing so.

Doing everything above should give her the message that you’re not interested and you don’t want to continue as friends or get back into another relationship. If you’re friends with some of her friends still, let them know the situation and ask them not to tell her about you so that she doesn’t get jealous or try to contact you through them. Might be best to cut ties with them also. Maybe you should change gyms also?

Oh yes and there’s one final thing you need to do. Email her and let her know that you DO NOT want to speak to her, text her or meet her again. Say that you want her to stop contacting you as you feel like you’re being smothered by her. Ask her not to contact your friends, family or you anymore.

That should do the trick.

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