Holding onto the Dream Girl (Attractive Male Qualities)

People familiar with my story know that when I first got good with women, I found myself dating very hot girls for the first time in my life. It was new to me and when I got my first beautiful girlfriend I wanted to hold onto her desperately, what happened? She dumped me! Now, I have learnt how to keep a girl, and how to be in control (in a nice way!) in a relationship and the only way I can get dumped is if I want to! Now that you have read these newsletters for a while, your game should be much better and you should be getting into relationships with hot girls. Once you catch a great girl, how do you hold onto her?

1. Be Solid in Your Reality

The natural tendency when we get a great girl is that we want to change ourselves so that she will like us more. We will get the music she likes, eat the food she likes, do the things she likes. In short, we show that we are not strong in our realities. Keep your tastes and interests and do not bend them for your woman, it’s a big turn off. Even if she says she wants you to change, she’d get bored with you if you actually did.

2. Have a Purpose and an Interesting Life

Women like men with ambition and with a purpose other than them. You must have a life that has stuff going on. You might think it’s nice for her if you dump all your friends and give up all your hobbies for her, but that will just make her get bored of you. An attractive male has a purpose and a great life that the woman becomes a part of. He doesn’t just throw everything out of the window once a girl comes on the scene.

3. Don’t Give Yourself 100% too Early

Men’s attraction is faster in the early stages, you will fall in love first in most cases. If you tell her that you love her and want to be with her forever or any variation or similar communication that tells her “you’ve got me, I’m yours”, you are making a mistake. It’s romantic, we want to say it, but the woman wants a challenge, she wants to have you 90% but never 100%. After a few months, you have more leeway but still be a bit careful and adjust things if you think you are losing her.

4. Don’t Change the Things She Likes

She was attracted to a certain person when she met you, maybe you were confident and alpha, maybe you were a bit difficult to get. Whatever it was, she liked it, don’t change completely and become a wuss just because you fall for her.

5. Don’t Chase Her

If you feel you are losing her, the natural tendency is to chase her more, compliment her more, buy her more stuff. Don’t! Do the opposite, go and meet other women, direct your energy to other things and let her come after you again. This is push-pull and it is very effective!

One of the biggest mistakes a guy can have is to have an unattractive lifestyle, it’s guaranteed to put the girl off if you have nothing going on in your life.  Check out my Social Domination Blueprint, it shows you exactly how to have a 1/10000 lifestyle without spending a penny.  It’s so easy, but it works amazingly well, and amazingly quickly.  Check it out as part of my Best Deal Ever.


Master Trainer, CEO

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  1. Danny L says:

    Oh man! I wish I read this before my last relationship started, I totally became a different person revolving all around her. Lesson learned… the hard way! Coming back into the game was even harder! Good advice though.

  2. Storm7777 says:

    Dear Richard,

    What if you want to move things forward with a girl (having been with her for at least 6 months)? Is it always wrong to say "I love you?". What if you actually think, you found your ideal partner after many years of joyfull hunt. On the one hand, words like these also create a deeper connection.

    Or should even at that deep stage of a relationship the strategy rather be to make her become chasing you and wanting to move in with you and so on?

    Especially, when you are the leader of the relationship, it´s difficult, because it´s you, who determins what happens next.

    Richard, if you could please go into this matter by answering this.



  3. Storm7777 says:

    Shit I knew it, shouldnt have said I loved her, shit, shit, shit, shit.

  4. im a woman and in my case those things aint workin. if u loosin me and u dont try 2 make things right u will loose me. i certanly wont go after u. neva did go and neva will go. aproaches mantioned in this article are for shallow gurlz. for desperate woman.
    thanks God i aint one of them.
    if u dont do good enough there is other guy who will!

  5. @ Basile, the theory has been field tested and it has proven to work most of the time, there just certain things that we have to accept when it comes to succeeding w/ women, even if it sounds illogical

    @mike, you could take up a hobby and to make ur life more fulfilling, you have to let ur ex know that u have an interesting life and that ur a guy in demand. so maybe u cud post a picture of u hugging a group of girls on facebook, that'll certainly get her attention fyi: girls will check their exe's profiles so she'll have idea wats going on in ur life and thus have an upper hand, use that to ur advantage

    btw im by no means an expert, i'v actually taken interest in this whole pua thing for a while and now im trying to take the theoretical aspects of pua n make it applicable to my life

    and big THANKS to Gambler, n other PUA contributors KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK

  6. my girlfriend left me bcuz i had nothing going on, she will not return a call or anything. what could i do to get her back, if it is possible

  7. dear gambler its me ebon from trinidad in the caribbean. Here's the thing, there is this girl who i like. i told her that i like her for 3 years now. she said that she like me but i killed the whoe scene(did something that turn her off) and she now like me as a friend. we still talk but i know that she as other options besides me the compition is stiff. she lives very far from me. What can i do she is only 21. and i love but i am willing to let her go. Should it matter if she date other guys and turn to me as a last resort. What to do can u help me?

  8. Hey Rich,
    I know that in theory the strategy of making HER chase you should work.. but i dont understand how this can possibly play out in reality – I mean, if she starts to drift, and then you reduce communication/attention, wouldnt she feel like you're ignoring her and not into her anymore, thus reinforcing and confirming her decision to leave you?..

  9. Hi Richard.
    I was wondering where the limit is from having too much sex and letting her think she is in control. How do you know when to refrain so she doesn't hold the magic torch.

    My second question is every time I am having problems and want to break up with her, I am forced to wait till she has her period. So I am stuck putting up with shit because I want to have some control in the matter if she is pregnant. No real deal yet but it's happened a few times. Obviously there has to be a better way to handle things.

    PS, your the best

  10. Richard says:

    Hi Richard,

    I think the secret is to be yourself at the very begining because no matter how good a thespian you think you are, keeping up the pretence that you are something you are not will wear you out and the No. 1 thing every guy MUST know about women is that they will constantly second guess EVERYTHING.

    Once you know women constantly worry about the size of their backsides, fuss over what to wear and take ages getting ready before they go out, then you should know a girl will also constantly ruminate over whether she has made the right choice of man and this is what she will constantly talk about with her girlfriends who if they are jealous ( They will be if you are Mr. Wonderful)will do their best to demolish her rosy impression of you.

    If you are keeping up a pretence and you have left ANYTHING to chance, just like a CSI investigator, a girl (the type of smart confident classy girl who you want keep, rather than a bimbo who can dump as soon as you sleep with her)will catch you out sooner or later.

    Why make things hard on yourself, when you can be yourself from the very begining and she can’t find any chink in your armour?

  11. Perfection says:

    Hiya Richard,I'm in this situation at the moment,I like a girl but I'm not going out with her yet,I think she is keen because she is giving me ioi's,but she is playing hard to get because she usually waves at me and today when I saw her and waved she just smiled at me,is this a good thing or a bad thing?,I don't know her that well and I would love to get to know her better.I'm friends with her on facebook and she is single.

  12. if u can fake your life for 2 weeks your perfect but the be yourself thing i never stray from, just dont worry and care a little bit because if you get dumped and your care to much its creepy (i know i have 2 stalkers)

  13. For some reason i can make great firt impressions and come across alpha and confident but after the first few dates when i cant really keep the act up things dont go the way i want them to.

  14. n she feels the pressure causing her to chase. *

  15. I remember, I was with my long term gf last year, and she started drifting away because of this (?) and that (?) and I completely turned it around.. by not chasing her and i started going out with new chick-friends I made, and she got heaps jealous and started telling me how much she loved me… but also she asked me not to see those girls anymore ( which i said NOPE, sorry) … she was being jealous and could not hack the idea i had options… truth is, if you have options.. you're the selector and the one who can leaver her anytime.


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