How To Divert A Womans Interest To You… Instead Of Another Guy (Before It’s Too Late)

I recently received a question from a reader which struck a nerve… several nerves actually, because it’s happened to me more than once :)

So I thought it would be a good idea to address the question in a post so that it could help others guys too, as I know there are many many men who this happens to regularly.

Ok, let’s get into it…

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Question from a reader:

Hey Gambler,

I really need your help. This is a time sensitive question as I feel like I’m losing my chance with this girl I’m kinda infatuated with! Last year I met this girl through a friend of mine at an office party (it was two floors in a building that came together so we didn’t know each other). My friend said we’d get on, so introduced us and we did, I spoke to her for a good hour, we agreed to grab a coffee sometime and I thought she was smoking hot.

Fast forward a couple of months and we’ve been out to lunch, coffee, even a few drinks after work at a bar near the office. I haven’t slept with her yet, but I’ve recently started noticing a new guy in the office that I keep seeing her with. She would usually hit me up on Skype and say “Lunch??” and we’d bra something to eat.

I don’t know why I was taking so long with trying to sleep with her, because we have kissed a couple of times when drunk. I guess I didn’t want to screw things up.

Anyway, now I see this guy with her all the time, I walked passed Starbucks during lunch an they are with each other, I walked into the elevator when I got to work and BAM… that douche is there with her again. They look very flirty when they’re with each other and I’m really worried that I’m going to lose my opportunity to bang this chick. Plus I don’t want to just bang her, I really like her.

PLEEEEEEAAASSSEEE give me some advice, I have no idea what to do but I’m going to lose her to this new guy if I don’t act soon.


My answer:

Hey Billy,

Thanks for getting in touch.

Don’t worry I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been in your situation many times and it sucks! Ok, so let’s get a couple of things straight… take note, grab a coffee and be prepared to put in some effort over the next few weeks.

Do you have her number? – An obvious question, but crucial. If you don’t have her number then you need to get it as soon as you can. Why? Because emailing and instant messaging her isn’t very REAL. You need to build rapport with her over the phone. You said that you’ve ben going out with her for a few months now, so you should be pretty friendly, which means it’s ok to call her as she trusts you.

Don’t tell her how you feel about her – One of the biggest mistakes guys tend to make is telling a girl how they feel about them. From the sounds of it, because you’re taking things so slow you are actually moving into the friend zone without you knowing it. So just carry on as normal, DO NOT tell her how you feel.

Commit to a “thing” with her – You should try and commit to a “thing” with her. Say that you want to get back in shape and need a gym buddy or that you love comedy and you should both go to an improv night you know about every couple of weeks. When you regulate an event of some type, it puts a (boyfriend/girlfriend) type image in her mind, which is what you want.

How’s the rapport/sexual tension? – You didn’t go into detail on the sexual tension or your rapport with her. Is it flirty? Sexual? Are you using kino? Does she contact you without you contacting her first? These are all important questions. You MUST be more sexual when you’re around her and you have to break rapport. She needs to see you has more than just a friend dude or work colleague dude.

Invite her out and use pre-selection/social proof – Inviting her out one night to something you pre-planned could be a very strong move if you engineer the night properly. When I go out, I make sure I’m with a bunch of “natural” cool guys, a handful of hot girls and I buy a table. If you do this, you will benefit from both preselection (hot girls with you will make you more attractive to her) and social proof (cool guys giving you props to her when you’re not around).

Add her on Facebook (only when your account is solid) – Your Facebook account is like a social proofing friend on auto-pilot these days. So it’s incredibly important that you make sure your account is solid. Remove pictures of you with too many guys, acting like a fool and liked pages which make you look like a kid. Focus on adding pictures/videos that paint you in a good light, make you look attractive, adventurous and exciting.

So those are my tips man, I really hope you get this girl! Good luck and apply everything I said.


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