Knowing where and how to touch a girl is both confusing and quite worrying.
It’s confusing because you don’t know where you should be touching her to build comfort and sexually escalate.
But it’s also worrying because, you might touch her in the wrong way… or for too long and creep her out, blowing your chances with her.
So touching (or kino as it’s known) is INCREDIBLY important to learn.
And that’s what I’m going to be teaching you today.
Once you learn EXACTLY how to touch a woman properly, you will be way more successful with women.
You’ll be having sex with more girls at a much faster rate and you’ll also experience far less rejections.
- 1 The importance of touching
- 2 The 3 types of touches that will take you from the first meet to the bedroom… in HOURS
- 3 Comfort touching: Build trust with her in minutes (as opposed to hours!)
- 4 Attraction touching: Create unstoppable addictive chemistry fast
- 5 Sexual touching: The fastest ways to sexually escalate like a pro
- 6 How to touch a girl in any situation while drastically reducing your chance of rejection or resistance
- 7 Double the speed of building comfort and attraction with these 4 simple tips
- 8 3 things you should never do when touching a girl – Commit these to memory
- 9 Conclusion: Here’s what you need to do next… [Very important]
- Why touching a girl is so damn important and precisely when to use the right touches… AND in what situations
- The 3 proven types of touches you need to master
- 4 simple tips to double the speed of building comfort and attraction
- Things you should never do when touching a girl (super important). If you don’t follow this advice, you’ll fail hard with kino.
Right then… are you ready?
Let’s do this!
The importance of touching
Understanding how to touch a girl is sooooo damn important but, most guys simply don’t know why they should be touching and in what order.
The simple answer is this…
Because you get laid more.
Oh… and science says so aswell…
“Research has shown that light tactile contact increases compliance to a wide variety of requests.” – Dr Nicolas Guéguen
When you know the correct sequence of touches (I’ll show you these step by step below) and when to use them, women will be more turned on and willing to have sex with you.
Touching (kino) is also important because it helps to build trust, rapport and prevents rejection, either directly or indirectly… I.e the friend zone.
So why do you need to use the right types of touches?
Well, if you use the wrong types of touches, you will convey mixed messages or stand a higher chance of freaking her out.
Using the right touches shows her that you’re a confident man who knows what he’s doing.
Right then… now we have that cleared up, let’s move onto the 3 types of touches that you need to master.
The 3 types of touches that will take you from the first meet to the bedroom… in HOURS
Think about this for a second.
Most men don’t get laid on the first meeting.
It usually takes them a date or two before they can get in her knickers.
But not for you it won’t.
In any interaction with a woman, there are three types of touches that you want to execute, which will take you through a cycle of attraction.
The “Cycle of Attraction” looks a little something like this:
Stage 1: Initial meet – You have just met her. She is unsure of who you are and is judging you based on first impressions.
Stage 2: Rapport – You are building rapport with her, connecting on a deeper level than she experiences with most people. I.e strangers, work colleagues, shop workers etc.
Stage 3: Familiarity – She now feels a connection and trusts you.
Stage 4: Attraction – She shows signs of attraction and wants to kiss/sleep with you.
Touching her correctly can speed up this cycle DRAMATICALLY.
Whereas most men fumble through interactions with women, not really knowing what they’re doing… the poor schmucks.
You’ll know exactly what stage you’re at in the cycle, because of how she’s reacting to your touches.
Pretty cool right?
Are you starting to see the power of touch?
Ok, so let’s get into what those three touches are…
Comfort touching: Build trust with her in minutes (as opposed to hours!)
The first type of touch is – comfort.
This phase is basically when you’re first introduced to a girl or you approach her and you want to build trust and rapport.
Now there are four main “touch types” which are known as ambiguous touches.
Meaning they aren’t sexual in any way, you can use it on a friend or work colleague, as they are interchangeable.
Here they are:
- Tapping the shoulder or elbow (during conversation only): This is to emphasise a particular point during a conversation. Don’t use this to grab attention if it’s a cold approach, that’s annoying and weird.
- Cheek to cheek kiss: During an introduction when first meeting, it can be used once at the end also.
- Use a handshake: When you exchange names. It’s also optional at the end of a conversation too.
- Jewellery/clothing compliment: Touch the item, making sure you make contact with her physically.
Each of these touch types are harmless right?
And they are easy to do. But what they are doing is removing the social barrier.
You’re now no longer a stranger and the trust/rapport phase has begun.
So now that you’ve initiated touch with comfort, you now want to move onto the second type of touching… attraction.
“If you are not comfortable touching in non-sexual ways, it will be very hard to escalate later towards a kiss and sex.”
Attraction touching: Create unstoppable addictive chemistry fast
Attraction touches are used to transition from “He’s just another potential friend” to “This guy is super cute, I wanna hump him”.
They are the best way to turn her on and have her think about sleeping with you, without actually saying much.
There are twenty-five different touch types in this phase.
Here they are:
- Comparing hand sizes: This can easily transition into holding hands.
- Checking her pulse: If you’re accusing her of being nervous (playful) or talking about fitness this is a fun way to touch her.
- Checking her muscles: Girls like to be teased, so you can question her strength by asking her to show you her muscles.
- Having a play fight: Wrestling with her over something will always spike attraction.
- Bum pat or grab: When done lightly, it can be a great turn on. It shows affection.
- Dancing with her: Allows you to touch her hands, hips, stomach and legs. You can also turn her around and see if she grinds on you.
- Shisha/hookah: Passing shisha back and forth, resting it on her leg and using the same mouthpiece. Also great for sitting close together if you’re outside and cold.
- Warming hands if she is cold: Great in the winter when you’re on a date.
- Arm around or arm in arm crossing road: Shows you are a gentleman too.
- Guiding arm through door: You can also give her a little bum pat when she walks through, which will make her giggle.
- Touch the top of her head when putting her in the car: This is a joke and you’re mimicking what the police do with criminals.
- Hip bump: Easy to do and very playful. She will bump you back.
- Check out her shoes: This will allow you to touch her feet or leg.
- Holding her hair up: Seeing how she looks with her hair up. Make sure you do this, don’t ask her to show you otherwise you’re missing the point.
- Hand slap: Lightly slapping back of her hand with two fingers and saying “bad girl!”. If she does something you don’t like or admits to something bad.
- Selfie together: All girls love a selfie, easy way to put your arm around her or even kiss her cheek.
- Teasing her so she hits you: You can steal her phone for example.
- Old school yawn then arm over her shoulder: Still works because it’s both ridiculous and playful.
- Touching legs when you’re sitting down: This is a great test actually. Sit down next to her and lightly touch her leg with your leg, if she moves then she might not be comfortable with you yet.
- Base of the back: When walking through doors you can put your hand on the base of her back, just above the butt.
- Hip/waist hold: When you’re walking together, have your arm around her waist.
- Smell her neck: Compliment her on her perfume and use that to smell her neck.
- Light face brush: Help her out by brushing something off her face like lint, mascara, glitter, food, makeup blemish… whatever, make it up if you need to!
- Put your head on her shoulder: This is another playful move, she will usually pat your head or stroke your face at this point.
- Stool hook: Sit down at the bar with your legs open, hook her hips or belt buckle rings on her jeans and pull her in. She should then put her hands around your neck.
Be careful: This phase of touches is crucial. If you get them wrong, she will bail and file you in her brain under “that sleazy guy”, so make sure you use them gradually and gauge her responses.
Notice I didn’t use any of the lame PUA moves? You know, these ones…
- Fist bumps
- High fives
- Palm reading
- Thumb wars
DO NOT USE THESE! They’re very cheesy and predictable.
“People like to be touched because we are tactile creatures, don’t be shy! Just make sure you are doing it in the right way.”
Try to be original with your touching, it should be natural and not scripted.
Ok so, now you know which touches to use to build attraction, the last phase is the big one… Sexual touching:
Sexual touching: The fastest ways to sexually escalate like a pro
This is the final phase and where you want to keep her turned on and wanting sex.
By this time you should really be back at your place or hers (however you may still be in a club or bar or anywhere else for that matter).
You’re sitting down drinking, chatting and now you want to transition to the actual sex.
Here’s every type of touch you want to try and use:
- Brush her boobs/nipples: Lightly brush your hand over her boobs, making sure to touch her nipples also. You should notice them getting hard.
- Kiss her neck/chest: When you’re kissing her normally, move down to her neck and chest area. Don’t forget to lightly bite her earlobes too.
- Take her hand and put it on your dick: During the kiss, take her hand and place it on your dick, she will grab it.
- Tickle, pull her hair (sexually): Tickle her scalp and then take your hand and lightly grip her hair, pull her head to one side and kiss her.
- Massage her: Basic shoulder massage or full body (better option as it’s more erotic).
- Light choking!: Place your hand on your throat and use a small amount of pressure. Only do this once, unless she likes it and wants more.
- Smack her bum: Spank it, squeeze it and rub it.
- Offer a foot massage/hand massage: You should know what you’re doing here though, otherwise it won’t be enjoyable and will feel creepy.
- Pin her against the wall/pin down on bed: Take control, she wants to feel your strength.
- Carrying her: Women love to feel submissive, so pick her up and take her to your bedroom. A fireman’s carry or over the shoulder if you’re feeling daring.
- Throw her on the bed: Body slam from wrestling or judo hip toss is good. Be careful obviously! Some girls will laugh, others will be super turned on.
- Private parts: Slip your hand inside her bra and play with her naked boobs. Also start playing with her vagina, starting off with the clit and then fingering her slowly.
And there you have it.
Every type of touch from comfort to sex.
“From time to time you should take the touching away, to give her a rest and to make her want more.”
By the way, if you’re fingering her and doing it right, she will say something like “I want you to f**k me” or “I want you inside me”.
So now you have the “how to touch” phases down.
Let’s move onto the final part of this guide…
How to touch a girl in any situation while drastically reducing your chance of rejection or resistance
Below are some real life scenarios you will find yourself in and how to touch a girl in each of those situations.
The more you use the right touch and the right time, the less you will be rejected or feel a level of resistance from her.
|Situation||Touches to use||Touches to avoid|
|Initial interaction (Day game) Park, mall, etc||Elbow/arms, handshake, clothing/jewelry compliment.||Hugs, twirls, fist bumps, anything attraction/sexual.|
|Initial interaction (Night game) Bars, clubs etc||Elbow/arms, hug, handshake, back, shoulders, legs, booty bumping.||Bum pats/grabs. Anything overly sexual, at least at the initial meet.|
|First date (Day time)||Arm in arm, hand holding, cheek kiss, hand on waist, arm over shoulder.||Anything overly sexual.|
|First date (Night time)||Arm in arm, hand holding, kiss on lips/cheek, hand on waist, arm over shoulder, resting against her leg, booty bumping, bum pats, dancing.||Anything overly sexual. Mildly sexual is fine as there’s usually alcohol.|
|Before sex (build up)||Bum/boob grabs, neck, ear lobes, stomach, kissing, throwing her on the bed, pinning against the wall, foot massage.||No aggressive sexual touches. Keep it sexy.|
|Foreplay (in bed)||Naked boob kissing/nipple biting, fingering vagina, neck kissing/biting, ass spanking, butt biting, full body massage||Anal. Some girls don’t like the finger up the butt. Check first.|
|During sex||Ass slaps, light choking, hair pulling, light restraining (hands behind back etc).||Anything too rough, unless she asks you to.|
|After sex||Cuddle, her resting on your chest, touching side by side (she will be heavily invested now).||N/A|
Something to remember…
These “touch by situation” guidelines are not set in stone.
So be fluid in your approach to using touches. Always gauge the situation and her reactions, then you can escalate at the right pace.
Double the speed of building comfort and attraction with these 4 simple tips
I want you to run through the following tips and keep them in the forefront of your mind, because they will make a massive difference in how well your touches are perceived.
Here we go:
- Keep doing it if she likes it: If she’s reacting positively and flirting back with you… KEEP DOING IT. Don’t stop man, otherwise you will run the risk of her losing interest.
- Always escalate: I always talk about dialling up attraction like a dimmer switch. From the moment you meet to sex, you should be increasing the amount of touches and pulling away to increase the sexual tension.
- Touch when it feels natural: If you it doesn’t feel natural for you or make sense in the moment, don’t touch her for the sake of touching her. Keep it natural, otherwise she will notice and it will feel fake.
- Touch as soon as you can: The sooner you touch her, the more comfortable she will get with you touching her. Also it won’t feel strange later on when you suddenly start to touch her.
3 things you should never do when touching a girl – Commit these to memory
When guys learn the techniques I’m showing you here, they usually abuse them.
This in turn pushes girls away, because they are coming on too strong. Not a good situation.
Here are some things you should NEVER do, if you want to get laid.
[X] Touch too soon: Going straight to attraction touching when you’ve just met is a terrible move. It will freak her out. Think gradual touches over time.
[X] Linger with the touch: I did this in the beginning, it’s an easy rooky mistake. If you linger, it just looks weird and she will avoid you.
[X] Touch too much: Use the push/pull dynamic. Touch her then take it away to not be too full on, also giving her a chance to reciprocate by touching you.
Conclusion: Here’s what you need to do next… [Very important]
You now know how to touch a girl… where to touch and when to touch.
So what now?
Put it into practice!
I want you to go out tonight, tomorrow and the next day. Apply everything I’ve mentioned above and see what happens.
Then work on your mistakes so you don’t repeat them and you will become a kino legend in no time.
What do you think of the touching techniques above?
Let me know in the comments below.