Question: How Long Should I leave It Before Getting Back With My Ex?


Don’t wait too long, but don’t be too quick… follow these rules…

Getting your ex girlfriend back can be a long and tiresome process, it’s unfortunately not as easy as some guys think to get your ex back… but I’ve gone into great detail on the subject here. If she was the one that broke it off with you, then you’re in for some serious work, trust me.

However, what about if she’s JUST broken up with you. How long should you leave it then?

This week I received a question from a reader that touches on that question exactly. I try to answer the question and give some advice on how he can get her back.

Wait a minute! Before you read any further…. you NEED to watch this video.

Question from a reader

Hey Gambler,

I have a question about my ex (new ex girlfriend) who I split up with around 3 weeks ago. I thought everything was going great, she didn’t seem off or anything, totally fine in my opinion. Then one day she text me, said that she wanted to tell me something that night and that’s when she said “I think we should just be friends…”.

My heart dropped, mouth went dry, stomach flipped and I instantly felt like I wanted to cry and beg for her or something. I held back the tears, I’m sure she could see that it did affect me. I asked her why she wanted to break up and her response was that she didn’t think we were right for each other and she wasn’t in love with me anymore.

We’d been going out for 2 years. The last 3 weeks have been total shit for me, I’m depressed, haven’t left the house other than to go to work, I can’t concentrate at work, don’t talk to anyone and it’s made a massive impact on my life in a very negative way.

My question is in 2 parts… 1) how can I get her back and 2) how long should I leave it before trying to get her back??? Please help man, I know you must get hundreds of emails like this, but I’m just so lost with what I need to do. I’m going crazy, I need this girl back, she’s perfect for me.


My answer

Hey Stephen,

I understand this is probably a really stressful time for you right now, it’s one of the worst things you can go through. But stay strong dude… the moment you turn into a little bitch is when you’ll drive her further away.

First things first, here are a few don’ts that you NEED to follow:

1. DO NOT update Facebook or Twitter yet. In your state, you will only write something pathetic that will make her think she made the right choice by splitting up with you.

2. DO NOT beg her to take you back, grovel, apologise or say anything that will make you look like a pathetic little biatch.

3. DO NOT text her, email her or call her… yet. You need to make sure that a few things are in place before you get back in touch with her.

4. DO NOT feel sorry for yourself. Understand that she left you because she lost attraction for you somehow, this obviously didn’t happen over night, it’s slowly happened over a period of several weeks, maybe even several months.

Ok, so now we have those out the way, let’s move onto what you need to do to get her back as quickly as possible.

1. Get back in touch in a week – Email her on Facebook and ask her out for a coffee, keep it friendly and not affectionate. Say that you’re thinking of quitting your job or doing something that you need some friendly advice on. Don’t mention the break up.

2. Keep it totally casual – Go about your life as you normally would, take up some new hobbies, go to the gym and enjoy life dude. I know that’s going to be HARD, but it’s essential you do this. When you meet up with her, only ask her out for a coffee or quick lunch and keep it casual.

3. Meet up again and again – Make meeting up a regularly thing. Again keep it friendly only, no kisses or talk about your relationship. Just act as if you didn’t even care about the breakup.

Once you do those 3 things, you will slowly creep into her mind and she will see that maybe the breakup didn’t have that much of an impact on you. Feelings should come back slowly and one night when you’re out, drinking… she will make a move on you.

So the ideal time frame to leave it would be 3 to 5 weeks.

Good luck dude!


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