The 10 Biggest Dumb-Ass Mistakes Most Guys Make When Learning About Picking up Women

Learn from these mistakes and get REALLY good.

When anyone starts learning about game and how to pick up women, they immediately begin screwing up in areas that quickly destroy any chances they have of getting laid.

These screw ups are very common and every single guy makes them in the beginning.

It’s important that you make these mistakes early on so you can learn what not to do in the next interaction you have with a woman.

I’m going to run through these mistakes below, so you can hopefully take them on board and avoid them yourself, reducing the risk of making a fool of yourself more times than is necessary.

NOTE: It’s fine to make the following mistakes once, but you need to be a quick learner and not make them again otherwise you’re going to be struggling with women for a VERY long time! I made a ton of mistakes, but I was and still am a fast learner… this is why I date and sleep with beautiful women.

Here they are:

1. Analyse everything way too much

Have you heard of the term analysis paralysis? It’s a very common problem for men that involves you thinking a hell of a lot about topic which doesn’t help you improve your game.

For example, you may see a cute girl sitting down on a bench in tfhe park and you know you should approach her, but you start to conjure up questions in your mind that lead you to walk right past her and not say a thing.

Analysing the situation beforehand should be quick and simple…

YOU: Is she alone on the park bench? Yep, cool then I’ll approach.

Not this…

YOU: Is she alone? Yeah, but there is a guy right next to here, what if he hears me? Should I approach her? Is she even hot enough? What should I say? Blah blah blah!

So focus on the approach and analyse later… if at all.

2. Make excuses to cover their fears

When you are fearful of something, you start to make excuses as to why you’re not doing something.

For example, you may be with some friends grabbing a coffee and a hottie walks into the shop. You should have approached her but instead you made the following excuses:

  • I don’t want other people to hear me talk to her
  • She doesn’t look that nice up close anyway
  • I’ve got nothing to say, my mind goes blank
  • I’m not in the mood
  • I really can’t be bothered to pick her up
  • I’ll approach the next hot girl that walks in

So as you can see, it’s just nonsense that does absolutely nothing for your game. The more you make excuses, the less you will be able to actually approach and start building attraction.

Basically, stop being a bitch and get over there!

3. Think they know enough

A very strange ego driven feeling is developed in a large number of guys that will seriously kill your chances of getting better with women.

It’s called… you think you know enough.

In a nutshell, some men think they have learnt all they need to know about picking up women and game, therefore they don’t need to learn anymore.

The moment you think this, your game will drop and you’ll get worse.

Guys who have the best game with women, NEVER stop learning or trying new things… unless they get a girlfriend and settle down.

So never assume you know enough, because there is always something to learn. Are you a master at approaching but suck at closing? Then you need to learn how to close quickly and effectively.

Keep learning dude, it will pay off.

4. Ask too many boring questions

When you’re nervous around women you tend to throw out a bunch of boring questions just to keep the conversation flowing… but what it’s actually doing is killing any attraction you originally had.

You need to be asking less questions but making more statements and assumptions. Assuming things about a girl will make the conversation much more interesting and engaging, it also allows her to talk more.

If you’re asking closed questions all the time, she will only have one word answers for you… yes or no. However you use statements and assumptions, she will be carrying most of the conversation after the first 5 minutes.

So stop asking lame questions and start assuming more.

5. Don’t build enough rapport

This is the most talked about subject and hardest to master when it comes to picking up girls. Men seem to have a big problem with building rapport and developing a strong enough connection with women.

Rapport just means that you are both fully engaged in the conversation and you are connecting with her on a deeper level, so she starts to feel some sort of attraction towards you.

In other words she’s emotionally invested in the conversation.

6. Invest far too much emotion

As human beings it’s in our nature to be emotional creatures. But we do have the choice to react and stir up more emotions based on our actions and thoughts.

Men just starting out tend to place a heavy amount of emotion on every girl they meet, especially if they haven’t had a girlfriend before.

Try and harness your emotions, stop being so emotional around women by wearing your heart on your sleeve. This is very off putting to a woman and they are the emotional ones, so leave it up to them!

7. Have no plan

We all know that women like to be lead, so it’s an obvious next step that you should create a plan for any type of meeting (date) with a girl.

Indecisiveness is not an attractive quality, but leading and assurance is. The problem men have is they don’t plan anything, they just have one or two things in mind like going for a drink at a bar and grabbing some food.

You need to be precise and tell her exactly what’s going on.

  • Meet her at a certain place and time
  • Go for a drink in a cool bar
  • Grab some food
  • Head back to yours (make sure you’re place is nice)
  • Do the deed

If you just hope for the best and go with the flow, you’re relying on luck not skill.

8. Take rejection to heart

Rejection is everywhere, in the workplace, friendships, family, dating… the list goes on. So it’s something that you need to learn to deal with, especially when talking to women.

If you approach 10 women, at least one or two will reject you, it’s just the nature of the game.

A lot of guys, take this really badly and feel discouraged. You should take every rejection as a learning curve and not as a personal attack, it’s the only way you can move forward and not feel down about it. As long as you work on your self confidence, you should be fine.

9. Never learn from mistakes

Mistakes are made when you don’t entirely know what you’re doing or you take your eye of the ball. You should constantly be learning from your mistakes and crafting your skills with women.

Guys that don’t learn from their mistakes make them again and again, which leads to frustration and giving up. Don’t be that stupid and you’ll do just fine.

10. Hang around idiots with no game

The next time you’re out with your friends, take a look around and look at each of them individually. What are each of these guys contributing to your game? If the answer is nothing for any one of them, then you need to cut them loose.

Sounds harsh, but it’s true.

If you want to be the best, you need to hang around with the best. Like minded people that are doing what you want to do.

A lot of guys seem to hang around with the same crowd even when learning game, so it’s no wonder it takes them twice as long to learn.

The best way to get a new social circle is by attending a live bootcamp. Every guy on these live events is there to do better with women, so they are perfect to hang out with after.

So there you have it, the biggest and stupidest mistakes guys make when learning how to pick up women.

If you’d like to learn from my mistakes and fast forward your way to success with women, then you should check out Stealth Attraction.

Don’t you dare make these same mistakes!

What major mistakes did you make when you first got into the game?

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  1. Socialkenny PUA says:

    All 10 points were solid,but #10 is crucial to me.

    I find that over the years,my friends or social circle is made up of 95% AFC or guys without Game.

    That shit rubs off on you psychologically.

    But it’s sort of like the concept that when you hang around rich ppl,you will become rich or at least garner that know-how or invisible insight.

    Same theory applies to hanging around guys with no skills I guess;your Game will falter.

    • PUA Training says:

      Totally. That’s why you become in your adult life what you absorbed though your teen years in school, the guys you used to hang out with have basically shaped your mindset and reinforced your beliefs on what can be achieved in this world.

    • Socialkenny Nailed it!! (Nicely put my friend!)
      Your “Rich people” analogy made me instantly flash back to something I’ve always heard, and always known to be true. It’s just like if you’re learning to play a new sport, or game, or technique, or whatever…. if you want to get really good…really fast… hang around with, compete with/ play against the best! It’ll sharpen your skills at lightning fast speeds, compared to being around someone who sucks!

      Example: When I was playing drums in a touring rock band, my guitarist & I got hooked on foosball because, one of the club owners was on a national foosball tournament team back in the 70’s & 80’s. This guy kicked ass & was damn near unbeatable. He also made the game interesting & fun just watching him play….. but going up against him was even more fun. (Even though we got our asses whipped…. HARD!) LOL!

      But… we kept practicing, and playing / hanging out with other people we met on the road who were really good. And whenever we went back to that club, we’d play the owner as much as we could… and we got a LOT better.
      Why? Because it was a natural occurrence because, we were kind of “forced” to step up our own game. There was no choice…. unless we wanted to crash & burn miserably. (Plus, we were able to ask him about special tips, pointers, slick tricks & wicked moves.)
      So, #10 stood out as a major factor with me as well.

      One more thing; if you’re ever in Nashville, TN it would ROCK to catch up with ya & hit the downtown clubs together! The girls are amazing…. AND I’m sure you’ve heard the term, “Southern Hospitality”?? (All I can say is, IT’S TRUE on SOOOOO MANY levels!)

      • PUA Training says:

        I agree with everything there Mark, well said! Nashville huh? I’ll add that to the list of places to go then, my friend just came back from Houston and said it was great for cool bars with pretty flirtatious women. An American road trip is in order I think :)

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