The Long Hard Road?

If you read online marketing about getting women, it’s all about “in just 2 minutes”, the “5 secret steps”, the “simple proven method”…after a while we don’t believe any of it. This stops a lot of guys learning pick up. There are three things that marketers often promise with everything from pheromones to the latest PUA product:

-It works
-It works for everyone (yes even you)
-It works fast and it’s easy.

Here’s the truth on these promises when it comes to good Pickup training:
-Yes it works
-It works to an extent for everyone
-It can be fast-ish and easy-ish but that isn’t always the case.

Let me break down the truth behind the marketing…

Pick Up definitely works, there is a mountain of undeniable evidence of guys that have transformed their lives. The big question is how quickly and easily it works. I’ll be able to give you an idea of that, first let me ask you a few questions:
-Have you slept with and had relationships with some women already?
-Are you comfortable in some social situations?
-Do you have natural qualities of either humour, cockiness, story-telling skills, interesting life experience, acting, dancing.
-Do you have female friends?
-Are you successful and confident in a particular area – eg work or sport?
-Are you in decent shape and do you dress pretty well?
-Are you good at picking up new skills quickly?
-Are you intelligent?

You can take the above and assign a few points for each “Yes” answer and then add them together to see how much you can likely achieve in a given period of time. Guys that have a few of the above going for them will be at an advantage. It’s not the same for everyone, these guys WILL be better than guys that say “no” to the above. A guy that is confident at work, has interesting stuff to talk about, has some natural conversational quality and has some experience with women could get this area totally handled in a few hours. A guy that has never kissed a girl, is unemployed, and has nothing interesting going on might take months to even get a number (assuming he doesn’t do some intense training like the Residential Course).

I was a guy who started game at 25. At that point i’d had a girlfriend and slept with one other girl, those were also the only girls i’d kissed. I had no female friends, and no real male friends. I was bad in all social or group situations, comfortable talking with my mum but not naturally funny or good at telling stories. I was good at learning things quickly and was intelligent. I was confident on the stock market but this didn’t translate to dealing with people in that realm since I did it all from home by myself with just the computer for company. My starting point was lower than 90% of the students I see.

And now the final point, the thing the marketers never mention – It can be very f@%king tough!

When you are gaming, you are putting your soul on the line. You are sticking your neck out. You are rolling the dice. It’s not like signing up to that distance learning course, this is something you have to do, more like tennis lessons. Except we don’t really care if we are good at tennis, we can live with always being shit at tennis, at being “the kind of person that will always SUCK at tennis”, we can’t live with always being shit with women, we’d rather be dead. We need that hope that we will someday be good. That hope is something that we can cling to.

When we start taking action we are giving away our hope and exchanging it for either:
-Success with women
-The memory of the attempt at being successful which failed.

In the second case, the hope has now gone, leaving us with nothing to live for. Depressing for sure, but this powerful force is what stops us taking the action that we think we should, we don’t want to give
our hope away and potentially exchange it for something far worse. It’s what held me back for so long. Understand this and you can take control. But let’s get on to what you can expect on any big journey…

There will be horrible times. You will be harshly rejected, and it will hurt. You will get a number and be so happy and then be dejected when she ignores your text. You will think a girl really likes you and then she will just stop answering your calls. You will get dumped, in some shit way like by email or facebook, and it’ll probably make you cry. If you learn this stuff over a few months you will have
to experience a whole 5-10 years of bad stuff in that condensed time.

Here’s the good news:

It’s no longer left to chance, each error can be corrected next time, you are playing a computer game with “infinite lives”. You WILL know what you did wrong. Each time you f&%k up and fail you’ll be further along, you’ll never go back to zero. You can at least approach, you can at least get numbers, you can at least get into relationships in the first place, you at least know you can get another date. The lows stop feeling so bad and the highs get better and better. Just like the average self-made millionnaire who went bankrupt 5 times, you need to learn and fail and suffer MORE than the average guy in order to be stronger and better than the average guy. It’ll make you into the man you want to be instead of a p£$$y, no one does this and gets to the end and stays a pu$%y. It’ll root out all of the shit things about yourself and force you to become a better man.

So here I am…I feel like I got to where I want to be. I don’t make massive mistakes, i’ve made them all already. I make small ones, and those are correctable. I can meet a beautiful girl, I can fall for
her and she’ll fall for me, i’ll want her and she’ll want me, we’ll be happy together. If it doesn’t work out, there are other girls out there, amazing girls aren’t amazingly common but i’ll find one and it
won’t take too long. I can’t be crushed for too long, I can’t be lonely for too long, and i’ll never feel helpless – I can help myself. I don’t want to be a robot with no emotions, but my game protects me
from feeling the real lows because I always know that i’m never going back to the situation I was in.

In sum, yeah it’s scary, yeah it will be tough, but it’s a road that you’ve got to take if you want to be happy.

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  1. This is possibly the most helpful thing i have read about PU. Thank You!

  2. That's one of the best pieces of motivation I've read, that keeps me grinding and grinding and keep going. Anytime I have a good spell, it's followed by some tough time, when the world, women, people, etc just keep on testing and resisting me. What worked yesterday doesn't always work today (exactly what happened to me :)). But I guess, it's just the road. Gotta dust yourself and take action towards the next success.

  3. hi guys,
    i've been such a needy person, this destroyed my relationship and was…the best thing that could possibly happen to me!
    i enjoy the game, even the hard days and i've got a little secret for the mindsetting of the needys:

    if you miss her like crazy reframe it like this: she has all these feelings, not you! you've got her lighter in your hand, the radio plays the song that you heard when you f-closed/k-closed her? it's not you who misses her, you just feel her feelings, cause hers are so strong.

    i know it sounds weird but for me It Perfectly Works. when she comes back from let's say italy i honestly don't know if she had missed me, but by thinking that she missed you, you treat her in a non-needy way when you see each other again. instead of jumping for her you give her the permission to see you.

  4. What I really wonder at times, considering this post, is this:

    Before learning pick up, I was almost incapable of getting a second date with a girl and nothing else of course. After learning pick up, I was able to get a second date very quickly (it didn't work with 1 and it worked with the next 4). I was able to get second dates by fixing one little thing. But then I couldn't kiss a girl or beyond. Once again, I worked on escalation with the next date and I was able to hold hands and kiss her and attempted to f-close. F-close didn't work. But I learned 2 or 3 things and fixed that with the next girl. Then I was able to f-close the next three girls I've dated.

    BUT I still have approach anxiety and my conversational skills need lots of work. So I wonder why is it so easy to fix some pickup issues and not others?

  5. Richard,
    I respect you and I have learned a lot from your material, but this post just pisses me off. To be honest, I wish you guy's would just stick at what you are good at, and that is giving us the specific details of what to do to get better with women.
    I am successful in most other area's of my life, and I don't need someone preaching to me about how to be "the man I always wanted to be".
    Another thing, you say we have to go through a shit load of pain in order to get good with women. I don't think this is good advice, because everyone need's to go at a pace that suits them. Push too hard, and there will be mental breakdown's, just look at Mystery!

  6. Great post. Question related to this:

    It seems to me that it requires so much effort and at some point I get sick of having to push it some more without getting concrete results (phone numbers, dates, lays). So my question is: When does it start feeling easier? When do we need less willpower to keep pushing and trying new things??

    I know that the best approach is to talk with girls for its own sake but as an introvert that is not something I do naturally.

  7. woooo grace us with your wisdom!! this brings a tear to my eye.

  8. Playing a computer game with infinite lives. Wow man I like that. Very good…

  9. John Bowen says:

    this is an extremely well written and honest exegesis

  10. Genuinely appreciate all the comments guys, thank you.

    There are now SOOO many stories of guys that have transformed themselves through PU, and I really think this was next to impossible in the past when there just wasn't any material or ways of learning this. I love hearing the stories and getting the emails, it makes a pretty intense job a lot easier! Keep it up!

  11. Phil Russo says:

    As a dedicated gamer now for now six months, I must say I had it all along, all I needed was a small nudge in the right direction. However, for those who have a long way to go it's important to remember where you started and how far you've come. I hope all who want to improve their game, and their lives, should start with this page.

  12. PhilStar says:

    Great post as usual, Gambler. And it builds confidence to be able to answer the questions in the text all with "yes" :) Even though the road has just started for me, asking myself this and being positive gives me a lot of confidence.

  13. I love your honesty and 'no BS' stance, thats why I enjoyed your book and that why I enjoyed this post. It really is tough to get started in PUA and to hear you say that will, in some illogical way, help a lot of people to start.

  14. alejandro says:

    im colombian and i would like to put this blog in spanish

  15. I appreciate your post gambler, but I find it hard to read considering you are a culpret of marketing your products better than they really are, I could go on here but its a waste of time, just try and not "market" as much and base it all on truth.

    There is a niche in the market for "truth" about products these days and not to exploit males e.g. shortcut to PUA mastery

  16. This post will particularly be helpfull to me and couldnt have come in a better time since Im experiancing this right now. I went to Darhams bootcamp on the 13th where the best advice I got was you have to push yourself to open the sets and carry on everyday because experiance is the best teacher

  17. this is a beautiful post…I almost gave up and I felt so stupid on giving up my manhood to chance. thank you

  18. Great post Richard, inspires me to carry on even when i feel like i'm banging my head against a brick wall!

    Reminds me why i keep at this as well – 'It’ll root out all of the shit things about yourself and force you to become a better man.' I think you've summed it up perfectly and this is why i'm determined to master this, not just to get a girlfriend, but to become all i can, face my fears and conquer them.

  19. Some of us are at the start of the journey, and some further down the road, but its the little rewards and highpoints that make it worhwhile, theres loads a things I want to learn and thinking about how cool its gonna be learning them fills me with excitement..lifes pretty good at the end of the day..darkness is just the other side of light..good times just the other side of bad..something to remember when your in that 'hole' and there seems like no solution…

  20. Finally someone cradles the truth about learning the art. I’m glad a successful company can speak open and freely to what is real life and what isn’t. This…. This right here is why I have followed this company for so long. Keep changing lives Gambler

  21. Because of Game, i've done something which i never thought i would ever do… End it with a girl who in my eyes is the hottest girl i've ever closed… Why did i end it? because i've now realised what my values are and aren't prepared to fall for someone just because she's hot…

    Put simply, Game helps you go past that facade of chasing a girl and makes you understand that you're the selector… But how you achieve this is again through experiencing pain and stress… It's a long hard road, but the destination is worth the journey…

  22. Hey thanks for sharing. It quite relieving to read this. Brings me to the story of learning to walk when your a child…You try and stand up but you fall, you try again and you fall, but you don't give up and then comes the day when you can finally stand up and walk perfectly…

  23. Gambler says:

    Thanks Guys!
    Exactly Guybrush. PUA gives us the knowledge of What To Do. We never had this before. As soon as someone finds out about this stuff, it's all about taking the scary action, doing the difficult things, and becoming the man you always wanted to be. Good luck guys!!

  24. Guybrush says:

    Great post Richard! I think that more people need to see that they can become happier and change their circumstances. Weather the storms and let your desire to become a better person drive you.

  25. Yes decent post..reminds me of a famous Paul McCartney song ;)

  26. Nice post!
    Really motivating in a way, just stick your neck out. You can't learn if you don't risk something. Most things in life come at a cost.

  27. Really loved this post .all truth .there aren't other ways.

  28. THANK YOU for the post!! I appreciate it and know that others do as well!

  29. the scary thing is is that there is sooooooo much more suffering to go through. sigh. after about 15 months i thought ive been through the worst of it, but theres still soooo much more to go.

    WHY ME!!!1!!!!11111111111

    • Dude why are you on here to bitch and moan, and make this post negative. 15 months and you are still suffering, you are doing something wrong

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