What should you do with your body when you are in-set?

You probably have female friends who have complained to you about the mauling they have to put up with from drunken blokes. Am I right? I bet they’ve told you about guys who have grabbed their arses, or getting into their faces. Obviously, these guys are guilty of a litany of errors and won’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting her into bed. They will get blown out because their body language is all wrong. Today’s email sets out the rules of body language. Here is my technique for ensuring you never get rejected by your target.

1. Don’t “Lock-in” Too Early

What do I mean by “locking in?” This is when you approach a woman, stand in front of her and effectively dominate her space. It has its place but you should avoid it early in a seduction. The best way to approach a woman you don’t known is to stand slightly to the side of her with your feet pointing away and only your head facing.

Women are well attuned to body language, and this stance won’t appear threatening – it won’t trigger her defensive responses (the harsh blow-out). She’ll be more likely to feel comfortable knowing that your body language indicates that you are only going to be there for a moment or two. You’ll probably be off in a minute. You are buying yourself an opportunity to make a good impression. Once you’ve done that, you won’t get the brush off.

2. Don’t “Peck”

If you are in-set in a club, the chances are that it’s going to be a noisy place. In places where it’s difficult to hear the conversation, the tendency is to lean in and speak directly into her ear. You shouldn’t do this: it looks needy. Instead, you should maintain your posture and get her to lean in to you. It will look
like she is picking you up. It’s not just about how it looks, either; by, say, leaning on the bar and having her leaning in towards you, the psychological effect on her and others is very strong. You look like the prize, not her. This rule applies when you are sitting, too – don’t lean in, lean back.

3. Use Gestures

Remember, communication is only about 30% verbal. The great majority of the message that we convey is done with our bodies. Bear that in mind at all times. When you’re speaking, try to ensure that you’re not stiff and rigid. A good way to do this is to make gestures. It immediately makes you more interesting, and, more importantly, it will give you a natural opening to touch the girl during conversations. Think about that for a moment: if you have your hands in your pockets and then try to touch her arm, it’ll be weird. But if you touch her arm after making a gesture to emphasise a point, it’ll be perfectly natural and normal. Making gestures also makes it less likely that you will fidget in set.

4. Touch her!

This is worth re-iterating. People like to be touched. It’s a fact. If you gesture and move around a lot, you seem naturally tactile and your touches will be welcome and acceptable. Don’t touch with a sleazy intentions, because that’s obvious and it’ll earn you a slap. But an escalating series of touches – hand, arm, shoulder – will put the girl at ease with you and introduce sexual tension to your dynamic. And we all know where that leads.

5. Master Eye Contact

This one is really important. If you can’t hold eye contact, you will appear submissive and unsure of yourself – two things that will guarantee a low success rate with women. And please promise me that you’ll never look down during a conversation – it is a classic sign of weakness. Holding eye contact holds a woman’s attention more effectively, and, even more important, it works on the attraction centres in the brain. Eye contact builds up sexual interest and attraction. Think about yourself for a moment – isn’t it true that you are more attracted to the girl who can hold good eye contact than the one who can’t? The same is true for women. If there’s more than one person in the group you are talking to, remember to spread eye contact around to hold everyone’s interest.

If you remember to follow these simple rules I guarantee you will do better with women. One of the things we do at our bootcamps is to analyse the body language of students and suggest how it could be best improved. We have loads of fun exercises that make an immediate impact to this vital area. No-one leaves without experiencing a massive improvement.

If you would like to SEE my body language in action, and even how I touch and escalate, it’s all here:  Check it out.

If you’d like to chat to me about body language or what you might expect from the bootcamp, drop me a line and I’ll get back to you – gambler@puatraining.com.

We also offer highly individualised residential courses that never fail to iron out the problems students are facing, turning them out the other side as pick-up machines. You get total immersion into the world of pick-up, full access to our trainers and wing-girls, a customised plan to take your game to world-class levels and the kind of experience that will seriously change your life. I love these courses – the changes that I’ve seen have been absolutely spectacular.

Until next time,



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  1. tony stark says:

    I would suggest to introduce kino in the next conversation, should not be necessarily sexual at the beginning (first 10-15 minutes maybe).

    since you already know her I don t think you ll freak her out

  2. I always read that you should begin kino early. But what do you do if you didn't really consider someone a target at the beginning so have never really kino'd her before? I have known someone about a year and I'm really not sure how to start kino-ing without freaking her out! (I wouldn't say I'm quite in the friend zone with her, in fact I used to get IOI's from her at the beginning).

  3. Good stuff Gambler, There's some valuable information here for me big time..This is probebly old news for a lot of guy's in bigger city's? But where im at,"ILL use it and it should work immediately,''Still got to try it" 'Just need to practice it in my head a little and drink less at bar,''The only one I'm wherry about,is the touch thing" Maybe if i get enough Indications of Interest it will be comfortable for me too touch to much.

  4. Thts soo cool. I feel charged to do the obvious & My chick will feel the pinch coming. Thnks

  5. Depending on your set, it would be ideal to hold off physical contact until you get an IOI (smile is enough), or spark a convo. Because unexpected contact may catch her off gaurd and throw up the AAD or anti-asshole defence ;) HB's 8+ especially

    Don't approach from behind..

    As for talking between them.. Try to address them as a group at first ("damn.. you girls looove pink") than individually once you decide what mark to stick with.. It's best to know b4 approach..

    ps- Touchy nice guy doesnt make it too far.. But, if its what you are comfortable with.. work it to your advantage, but I would suggest finding a different approach

  6. Is there any problem if I touch two of the girls from the first moment on their arm for a few seconds when I execute the opener(like a touchy-nice guy) and I stay between them and make eye contact alternatively with both of them and talk over the shoulder?!Could this be interpreted like invading personal space?
    If not, how soon should I touch someone?Do I need to wait for talking only to the target before I touch someone?

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