Today I have a really good question from a reader that I wanted to share which is a common question. It’s something that I used to have a ton of trouble with and it pretty much took me a couple of years to master, all because I was so insecure and uncomfortable around women.
Anyway, let’s get on with the question:
Question from a reader:
I read your book recently (The Natural) and have been having trouble with being sexual with women. I am totally fine approaching them, even really hot ones, but when I try to build sexual tension it just back fires and the girl loses interest. I’m always in the friend zone and the same thing just seems to happen every time I want to sleep with a girl.
When do I need to be sexual and how can I do it fast?
Ok so, building sexual tension/attraction with a woman will take practice. You need to be confident with your actions first and foremost, but from the sounds of it, you are having trouble conveying your sexual intersest in women. I.e. when you meet them, they are not aware that you want to sleep with them… so immediatley put you in the friendzone.
This is a big problem and won’t go away until you address it. So let’s fix that now.
The next time you approach a woman (let’s say it’s night time in a bar) you need to approach her with an authoritive, calm and sexual manner.
Once you’ve opened her, the rule of thumb is this… you MUST begin to build sexual tension within the first 30 minutes otherwise you’re going to make it very hard on yourself and she most likely won’t want to sleep with you.
So within those precious 30 minutes, you should be doing the following…
1. Eye contact
Locking eyes with her and not breaking that contact until she does. Don’t be creepy with the eyes, just think seductive. Being able to hold eye contact is 50% of the battle at least.
Take your gaze from her eyes, down to her lips but in a triangular fashion. So start with the left eye, then move to the right eye and finally down to the mouth, holding for a second on each. Repeat this 2 or 3 times slowly. This will make the interaction more seductive.
3. Light constant touches
Kino (touching) is the other 50% of the battle. When you touch a girl and how you touch a girl is SO IMPORTANT for creating a sexual tension that will make her incredibly horny, very fast. Touch her arms, stomach, hands, legs, face… everywhere that a “friend” wouldn’t really touch. Also make sure they are incredibly light touches.
4. Interlock fingers
Interlocking fingers sends a very strong signal of “we’re connecting on a deeper level”. It helps with trust and once she trusts you, it will make it much easier to sleep with her.
5. Sensual hugs
You may have heard of this before, but sensual hugs can lead to sex so fast it’s unbelievable at times. The next time you’re talking to a woman, say to her that you learned a techqniue called “ashram hugs” where you hug for 1 to 2 minutes, but you breath at the same time in/out. When you do this with her, it will catapult the sexual tension far beyond what you could have imagined.
6. Read her signals
Always read her signals. Is she self grooming, is she lingering, does she keep eye contact instead of looking around, is she touching you, does she initiate the conversation when silences happen.
7. Keep pushing
Don’t forget you need to keep dialing up the attraction. Keep touching more, getting closer, looking at her seductively and moving in for the kiss…. etc. This will move things much faster, so you can bang her.
And there you have it.
Hope these tips help. Let me know how you get on Derek.