Pick Up Lines

That Work: The Complete List

This is a complete list of the best pick up lines that work every time you use them (well almost).

If you’re looking to make someone:

  • Laugh uncontrollably.
  • Cringe with embarrassment.
  • Or just make them feel good about themselves.

Then you’re going to love this list of the funniest, cheesiest and smoothest pick up lines ever to have been thought up.

Let’s do this.

What's in this Guide

Chapter 1

What are Pick up Lines?

They are basically one phrase that you can use to initiate a conversation and cause a certain feeling in a person.

So, for example, you might want to chat with a girl at the bar.

But there’s a problem.

You have no idea what to say.

That’s when having a ready-made phrase to say, is an excellent icebreaker. It shows that you’re confident enough to approach her, and you have a sense of humour (the vital part).

What is it that girls love in a man aside from confidence?


Sure, you could just go over and say hello, but dozens of guys have probably already done that, so your chances of getting rejected are high.

A simple line, executed confidently will make her:

  • Laugh (perfect for making a great first impression)
  • Like you (the faster you gain someone’s trust, the better)
  • Intrigued (giving you a chance to continue talking)

Breaking the ice as it’s known to most people is, without a doubt, the hardest part. So why not make that easier on yourself.

Do Pick up Lines Actually Work?

Yes and no.

There’s a misconception that by using a line, a girl is going to be so turned on that she pulls down her panties instantly.

Sadly, that’s not the case.

Pick up lines will help you to initiate conversation and block your mind from thinking of reasons not to approach someone.

They won’t magically trick a girls mind into liking you.

Having said that. If you’re confident in your approach and use a one-liner with conviction.

It will work.

How to Create Your Own Pick up Lines

Having a pre-scripted line is excellent.

It removes the stress of thinking about what to say to start a conversation.

But odds are, the girl you’re going to use it on has already heard that line before (maybe even more than once).

That not only makes you sound robotic and unoriginal and it also gives a bad first impression.

So what’s the solution?

Well, you can create your own.

Here’s a simple formula you can use:

(O)bservation + (S)ituation + (I)ntrigue/(H)umour + (D)elivery = UPUL

Let’s break this formula down.

  • Observation is simply you observing the environment you’re in and the person (target) you want to talk to and tailoring something to them.
  • The situation means you’re using the right line for the right environment. You don’t want to use a sexual line if you’re approaching a girl during the day in a crowded coffee shop. That would be weird.
  • Intrigue and/or humour means you must make the other person curious to hear what you have to say next or laugh (preferably both). Why? Both of these feelings cause that person to like you and want to interact.
  • Delivery is the most crucial part. If you deliver the line without confidence or conviction, you’re finished.

Here’s an example of the formula in action.

Imagine this scenario:

You’re walking through the park on your lunch break, looking for a place to eat your food.

In front of you sits a cute girl, alone, reading a book with glasses on.

Now you’ve observed she’s alone and reading a book, plus she’s wearing glasses.

It’s also during the day, in a park. So the situation is covered.

So you could mention something about her book, the fact she’s wearing glasses and she’s in a park alone reading.

How about something like this?

“Hey, sorry I don’t mean to be rude, but this is a pretty weird place to be reading 50 shades of grey don’t you think?”

Or maybe…

“With glasses like those, you must be a Harry Potter superfan. Am I right?”

All you need to do is make sure you deliver those lines with absolute confidence, and they will work.

1,107 of the Best Pick up Lines Ever Used

Here they are.

The ultimate list of one-liners anyone can use to start a conversation either in-person or over text and get a reaction.

Warning: Don’t overuse these lines. They are supposed to be used to initiate a conversation in a lighthearted, playful and flirty way.

Using more than one of them during the same conversation will make you look like you’re trying too hard to impress someone or be funny.

Chapter 2

Cheesy/Funny Pick up Lines

If you want to make someone laugh (or even wince), but in a flirty way of course, then these are for you. Simple, effective and will almost certainly make someone giggle, if you deliver them in a light hearted and comical way.

These lines range from unbearably corny to playground humour that will have most people chuckling.

Sure, we’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.

Are you from Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

Do you like science because I’ve got my Ion you.

Do you like sales? Because if you’re looking for an absolute bargain, clothing is 100% off at my place.

Do you generate electricity with water through the process of Hydropower? Because dammmmnn girl.

I know this is going to sound really cheesy, but I think you’re the greatest. [this will get lost on some girls].

I must be a delicate snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.

Are you a cake? Because damn girl I want a piece of that.

Are you French? [wait 2 seconds] Cause, Eiffel for you.

There is something wrong with my phone [show it to her with the dial pad]. It doesn’t have your number in it [look concerned].

Are you a cat? Because I’m feline a connection between us [say meow in a jokey way].

Thank the Lord Jesus I’m wearing these gloves because you are just too hot to handle.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice [follow up with cheesy smile].

Remember me? [look enthusiastic to see her] Oh, damn I forgot, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

Have you been to the doctors lately? I really think you’re lacking some vitamin me.

Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaaaaaamnn guurrrl!

Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m lovin’ it! [Sing it in a jingle].

You spend so much time in my mind, I really should charge you rent.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

Wow, when God made you, he was showing his skills off.

Did you swallow a whole bunch of magnets? Cause you’re very attractive.

Would you grab my arm [hold your arm out] so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

There is something wrong with my phone. Can you please you call it for me to check that it rings?

Are you going to kiss me right now or do I have to lie to my diary again?

Excuse me, I’m new in town and a little lost, could you give me directions to your apartment, please?

You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else magically disappears.

I may not be a genie that has magical powers, but I can make all your wishes come true!

Did it hurt? [look at her in a concerned way] When you fell out of heaven?

Nice to meet you [put your hand out], I’m [your name], and you are let me guess… gorgeous!

Roses are red, violets are blue, would it be ok if I came home with you?

If nothing lasts forever, [look at her while placing one hand on your heat] will you be my nothing?

Excuse me, are you lost? Because heaven is a loooonng [exagerate this word] way from here.

I know you’re probably pretty busy today, but can you just add me to your to-do list?

Are you seriously religious? Cause you’re actually the answer to all my prayers.

Are you a parking ticket? [Ask the question seriously] Because you’ve got fine written all over you. [Look her up and down comically].

If I had the power to rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Are you a 90-degree angle? Because you are looking right.

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

I thought Happiness starts with H. [look serious for a second]. But why does mine start with U?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

Hey, my name’s Microsoft, nice to meet you. Can I crash at your place tonight?

What has 40 teeth and holds in the Incredible Hulk? [be dramatic] My zipper [point with both hands to your crotch].

Well, here I am. [Have a cheeky grin on your face] What were your other two wishes?

On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re definitely a 9… and I’m the 1 you need.

Is it ok if follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb. [Be careful of who you say this too!]

Did you hear about the new disease called beautiful? I think you’re infected!

Feel my t-shirt, [hold your t-shirt so she can touch it] it’s made of boyfriend material.

Can I take a photo of you? I just need to let Santa know what I want for Christmas.

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket.

I’m new in town. Could you give me directions [point over to somewhere random] to your apartment?

If you were a steak, you would rare, and when I’m finished with you, you’ll be well done.

Do you wanna see a portrait of a beautiful person? [hold up a mirror to her face].

Hey [point down] you should tie your shoes! I really don’t want you to fall for anyone else.

Your hand looks heavy. [point at her hand] Here, let me hold it for you

I’ve been thinking, [really look like you’re thinking hard] do your lips taste as good as they look?

Let’s play a game. I’ll give you a kiss and if you don’t like it, you can return it. How’s that?

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? [she’ll be confused and giggle a this one, also gets her thinking about kissing you].

My mumma thinks I’m homosexual, can you help me prove her wrong? [Have a deadpan expression].

You must be a sneaky ninja because you snuck right into my heart.

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.

Did your drivers licence get banned for driving all these guys around here crazy?

You have to be Jamaican because Jamaican me crazy girl.

Hey there, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

Am I in a museum? Because you are really a work of art.

I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice.

Even if gravity didn’t exist, I’d still fall for you.

Are you Israeli? Cause you Israeli hot.

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

Are you from Japan? Because I’m trying to get in Japan-ties.

Is your name Wifi? Because I’m really feeling the connection.

Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?

Are you a keyboard? Because you are exactly my type.

Is it seriously hot in here, or is it just you?

My doctor says deficient in something called vitamin U.

If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.

You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life.

No,I’m not drunk, I’m just completely intoxicated by you.

What does it feel like to be the prettiest girl in the room?

Life without you is like a blunt pencil… [pause for a second and look into her eyes] pointless.

Quick question. Do your legs ache from running through my dreams all night?

If an old fat bearded man puts you in a big red bag at night, don’t be scared, I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. [Give her a wink].

If you were a library book, I would most certainly check you out

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10, I see!

I’m no photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.

If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

You know what you’d look really beautiful in? My arms.

If I had a beautiful garden, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together. [Blow her a kiss, in a cheesy way].

Do you think we’d look cute on a wedding cake together?

Your name must be fizzy pop because you’re so-da-licious.

If I followed you home tonight, would you keep me?

Good thing I just purchased life insurance, because I saw you and my heart stopped!

If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.

Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand what you are doing there, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

Did you know that when a penguin finds a mate, they stay with them for the rest of their life? What I’m trying to say is, will you be my penguin?

Somebody, please call the cops [raise your voice overdramatically] it’s got to be illegal to look that good! [look her up and down].

I want somebody to look at me the way I look at ice cream.

I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. Do we have a deal?

My feet are getting cold because you’ve knocked my socks off.

Do you like vegetables? Because I adore you from my head tomatoes.

Pinch me, you’re so beautiful this must be a dream.

Is your name Google? Because you have everything, I’m searching for.

Are you from China by any chance? Because I’m China get your number.

Are you in the mood for Pizza? Because I’d love to get a pizz-a you.

Awww, your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

Chapter 3

Famous Pick up Lines

Some lines travel very far and get translated into multiple languages. Chances are, you’ve most probably heard them at some point in your life. These are the most famous and well known corny, cute and playful ones.

Warning: Use them sparingly. Most people have heard these before, so you might come across as a weirdo if you use them seriously.

I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours? [Hand her your phone].

Was your father a thief? Cause someone stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

Where have you been all my life?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Do you come here often?

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low, wow.

You see my friend over there? [Point to your friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’m cute.

Is that [point to her groin] a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!

What’s your star sign? [not the greatest, but starts a conversation at least]

Can I borrow your phone for a second? I need to call my mom and let her know I met the girl of my dreams.

I’d better get a library card because I’m checking you out.

What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

You know what would look fantastic on you? Me.

Excuse me, I think I dropped something. My jaw!

Wait, is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date?

Look at you with all those curves annd me with no brakes!

Do you have a map? Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Chapter 4

Bad/Dirty Pick up Lines

Are you feeling brave? Using a dirty line in some situations may be seen as rude to some people (especially women, if you say it wrong) so use them with caution.

A bad one-liner is designed to do one thing. Get a reaction. Shock, laughter, running away… it doesn’t matter. The aim is to force the other person to respond.

You have been warned!

Are you a drill sergeant? Because my privates are standing to attention soldier.

I’m a keen bird watcher, and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?

Are you the lottery lady on TV? Because I’m seeing you vividly holding up my balls.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.

Let me guess your favourite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass.

So you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux, and we can call it formal sex.

I’m just like a pore strip. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do.

Your face is like a wrench, every time I look at it, my balls tighten up.

You should definitely join the circus. [She’ll say why?] Well, so you can learn to juggle balls all day.

Yeah, it’s big, and if you pet it, it gets aggressive, oh and it spits ;)

I’m against animal cruelty. Please don’t hurt my monkey, stroke it gently.

If God made anything more beautiful than you, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control because I just saw a fox!

If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.

Hey… somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

Is your name Dwayne Johnson? Because you Rock my world!

If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.

What’s on the menu? Me-n-U

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.

You don’t need keys to drive me crazy.

My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

Is your last name Campbell? Cause you’re “mmmm… good!

You’re so cute, it’s distracting!

Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

I have had a horrible day, and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, I’d hold the sky in the palm of my hand.

Is your name Winter? [she’ll look perplexed at this point] Because you’ll be coming soon.

One of my good buddies told me girls hate oral, can help me prove him wrong?

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you. [follow up with Arghhhhh].

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours please?

Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.

Call me leaves, because you should be blowing me.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.

Don’t ever change. Just get naked.

You’re so hot even my zipper is falling for you.

Great dress. I’m sorry I’ll have to rip it apart.

Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.

My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Wanna go back to my place and save me?

Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch penis, but I’d never shortchange myself like that.

You’re just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.

I’ll be Burger King, and you be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way, and you’ll be lovin’ it.

Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.

I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

I’m lonely, can you keep me company tonight at my place?

I am leaving this place. Want to come?

What do you like for breakfast?

My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?

I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a little slut instead.

Your clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

I hope you like dragons because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

Let me insert my plug into your socket, and we can generate some electricity.

That’s a beautiful smile, but it’d look even better if it was all you were wearing.

You know what I like in a girl? [pause and look at her right in the eyes] My dick.

Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later.

I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long.

Can you tell me what time your legs open, please?

Do you like cherries? If not, can I have yours?

I hope you’re a plumber because you’ve got my pipe leaking.

Sit on my face, and I’ll eat my way to your heart.

Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? Because I’ve never seen hardwood like that in real life.

I think my allergies are acting up. Because every time you’re around, my dick swells up.

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down.

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

What time do you get off? Can I watch?

Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?

I lost my blankie. Will you be one for me tonight?

Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.

The FBI is afterme and wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you for a while?

Do you believe in karma? Because I know some excellent karma-sutra positions.

Hi, I’m very wasted, but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

You can call me cake if you want because I’m going straight to your ass.

Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobies up all day for free?

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy?

I don’t wanna have babies with you, but I’d be up for refining my baby-making technique with you.

Woah, are you capable of doing telekinesis? Because you just made a part of me move without even touching it. [Wink at her in a jokey way].

Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my dick.

Do you work at Home Depot? Because you’re giving me wood.

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.

Are you hungry? Because omelette you suck this dick.

Let us let only latex stand between our love.

Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place.

If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?

Are you related to Dracula? Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.

Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame.

Let’s go to my place and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

If I was a robot and you were one too if I lost a bolt, would you give me a screw?

I’m easy. Are you?

What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?

Turning off the lights is one of my turn on’s.

Your boobs remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

Was your daddy a baker? Because you’ve got a lovely set of buns.

Do you know your ABC’s? Because I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.

Are you flappy bird? Because I could tap you all night. (Worked really well when the game was on fire, and everyone was playing it, now maybe not so much.

Did you grow up on a chicken farm by any chance? Because you sure know how to raise a cock young lady.

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.

Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?

Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.

Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this pretty lady needs a clean place to sit.

Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out.

I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

I’ll show you my tan lines if you show me yours.

Bet I can touch your belly button… from the inside.

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

You have been very naughty. Go to my room!

Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know precisely what your pussy needs.

I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?

You have some beautiful jewellery. It would look great on my nightstand.

Would you like a hot dog to go with those buns?

Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Are you married? If not, I’d like to marry you for one night.

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them.

My couch pulls out, but I don’t.

My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties? Oh, you are? Darn, it must be an hour fast.

How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And also the ones on your face.

Want to see if you can add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your resume?

If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricant.

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

Quickly, let’s go. I just popped a Viagra. So we’ve got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.

I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don’t need it after all.

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

Are you a cowgirl? Because I can see you riding me.

Are you my new boss? Because you just gave me a raise.

Do you have pet insurance? Because your pussy’s getting smashed tonight.

I’ll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet.

I like my coffee how I like my woman… creamed.

I’m a mindreader, and yes, I will sleep with you.

I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?

If I was a watermelon, would you spit my seed?

You’re on my list of things to do tonight.

The word for tonight is “legs”. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

Baby, I last longer than a white crayon.

Sweet beach balls, can I play?

I don’t drive a car, but I’d like to walk you home.

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.

Baby, I like to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.

Let’s play Titanic, when I say iceberg, you go down

You look so good, I wanna kiss your lips and move up to your bellybutton.

Want to go halves on a baby?

Are you a sprinkler? Because you’re making me wet.

I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

Do you have any Italian/Spanish/Irish [insert any nationality based on what the girl looks like] in you? [Her: Erm, no] Oh ok, would you like some?

You should sell hotdogs because you already know how to make a wiener stand.

I’m scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms?

They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?

You’re like my pinky toe, I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

Let’s play a game. First, sit on my face, I will guess your weight, and then I will eat the difference.

Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!

Do you go to church often? Cause you’re gonna be on your knees tonight.

You can call me cake, cause I’ll go straight to your butt.

Let’s play a game called “carpenter”. First, we bot get hammered and then I nail you.

Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.

Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons.

Do you go to church often? Because you’re gonna be on your knees tonight.

I can see into the future, and yeah, we’re gonna fuck at least once.

I’m an adventurer, and I want to explore your cave.

Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?

I’m a zombie, can I eat you?

Do you need help with anatomy? I know all the body parts.

Do you want to do something that rhymes with truck?

If the sun were to stop shining, I’d be your source of vitamin D.

Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight.

I can tell you’re into yoga just by the way you hold yourself, why don’t you show me just how flexible you are?

What has four legs and doesn’t have the most beautiful girl on it? My bed. Shall we fix that?

My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

Do you like whales? Because we can go hump back at my place.

Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.

You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.

Want to save water by showering together?

I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?

I have a job for you, but it blows!

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?

I’m a freelance gynaecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

If it’s true what they say and we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

Smile if you want to have sex with me.

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.

You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.

Is your name Dora? Cause I’ll let you explore.

You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!

I bet your nipples are pink. Mind if I take a look?

Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynaecologist.

I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.

I don’t like watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.

I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so you might as well be there.

I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

Are you butt dialling? Because I swear that ass is calling me.

Liquor is not the only hard thing around here.

I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me, the harder I get.

How about you get on your knees and smile like a doughnut.

Are you cold, do you need a jacket? Because you can jack-it when we get back to my place.

Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?

You are cute, I am cute… Let’s go to your place and be cute together.

Hey baby, do you want to play a lion? You go kneel right there, and I’ll throw you my meat.

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

Can you take me home? I have excellent bedside manners.

Hi, I’m a burglar… and I’m going to smash your back door in.

I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.

I’m no weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

Are you a racehorse? Because when I ride, you’ll always finish first.

For goodness sakes, please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

I was feeling off today, but you definitely turned me on.

I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?

That dress looks great on you…as a matter of fact, so would I.

I’m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

Do you want to take a shower with me to conserve water?

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.

Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.

What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging that ass.

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.

I’m afraid of the dark… Will you sleep with me tonight?

Lie down on your couch and pretend that your legs hate each other.

My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.

Would it be weird if I wanted to bang your brains out, or just that I didn’t call you after?

First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on your lips, and then I would move up to your bellybutton.

I bet your dad is an environmentalist because you are so eco-friendly.

I’m like a delicious pizza. The best part is the sausage on top.

Let’s play house. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d love to tap that ass.

Do you run track? Because I heard you Relay want this dick.

Hey baby, I’m kind of cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.

You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.

I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

Do you come here often or wait till you get home?

When I see you, the sea levels are not the only ones rising…

Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re so hot.

Dammit. I lost my keys… Can I check your pants quickly?

Are you a shark? Because I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow.

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them!

Sit on my lap, and we’ll get things straight between us.

Is your name Dora? Because I’ll let you explore this dick.

You can call me “The Fireman”, mainly because I turn the hoes on.

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.

When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I put yours in my mouth?

Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?

Girl, are you an iceberg? Because you’re making me want to go down.

Damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out.

I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me, the harder I get!

You are so selfish you know. You’re going to have that amazing body the rest of your life, and I just want it for one night.

Are those jeans Guess? Because guess who wants to be inside them…

Let’s play house. You can be the door, and I can slam you all I want!

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Let’s play a game. The fastest person to take their clothes off wins.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.

If I was your teacher, I’d give you the D… I mean ahem… a D.

Chapter 5

Cute Pick up Lines

If you want a girl to say “Awwww, how sweet” when you approach her, then a cute line is all you need. Their purpose is to make you seem warm, friendly and non-threatening.

Make sure you say them as if you’re trying to make them feel special. (get the sick bucket ready).

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

I was blinded by your beauty… I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

You may be asked to leave soon, you’re making all the other women look bad.

Most guys need 3 meals a day to keep going… I just need eye contact from you.

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Hey, baby, you’re so beautiful you make me stutter, wha-wha-what’s your name?

No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!

[As she is leaving] Hey, aren’t you forgetting something? [What?] Me!

If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.

You must be a ninja because you snuck into my heart.

I’m learning about important dates in history class. Wanna be one of them?

I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.

You are the reason men fall in love.

You should be someone’s wife.

Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.

You’re my favourite weakness.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

You’re the only girl I love now… but in ten years, I’ll love another girl. She’ll call you ‘Mommy.’

Most people like to watch the Superbowl cuz it only happens once a year, but I’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

You’re so cute, it’s distracting.

I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I’m willing to make an exception in your case.

I might be ugly, but I’ll treat you, right!

Your mom told me to say “Hi” to you.

Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.

Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.

Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii would look good together.

Are you Jewish? Cause you ISRAELI HOT.

I’m in the mood for pizza… a pizza you, that is!

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Even if you had 0 followers, I’d follow you anywhere.

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

Did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me?

Can I borrow a quarter? [“What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.

You’d better direct that beauty somewhere else, you’ll set the carpet on fire.

Do you like Mexican food? Cause I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-RITTO.

Can I hit you in the face… with my lips?

You be the Dairy Queen, and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.

You must be a high test score because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.

Hi, my name is Doug. That’s “god” spelt backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.

Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey? Huh… No, why?] Because I need your name and number.

I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

Were your parent’s Greek Gods? Cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.

I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.

I must be dancing with the devil because you’re hot as hell.

Let’s play Winnie the Pooh and get my nose stuck in your honey jar.

Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

Let’s make like the Olympic rings and hook up later.

Can I follow you? Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams.

You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

If I had 4 quarters to give to the 4 prettiest girls in the world, you would have a dollar.

If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot. [Why?] Because I’d always miss you.

I know somebody who likes you, but if I weren’t so shy, I’d tell you who.

Is your name Dunkin? Because I doughnut want to spend another day without you.

Charzards are red Squitals are blue if u were a Pokemon I would choose you!

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well, then, please start.

Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?

There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because every time I see you, you turn me on!

You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

If I’m vinegar, then you must be baking soda. Because you make me feel all bubbly inside!

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

If you were a transformer, you’d be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.

Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.

Are you a vampire? Cause you looked a little thirsty when you looked at me.

I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but… I’m Batman!

Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?

On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9. I’m the 1 you need.

Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

You better call Life Alert, ’cause I’ve fallen for you, and I can’t get up.

You look like a cold glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.

This isn’t a beer belly, It’s a fuel tank for a love machine.

Are your parents retarded, ’cause you sure are special.

Is your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.

Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.

With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of super children and conquer the earth!

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Are you a florist? Because ever since I met you, my life has been so Rosey.

Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? [hold up a mirror].

Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout!

Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot!

Are you lost, ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

I was so content with my life, and one day I asked God, what could be better than this? And then I met you.

You must be an essential textbook passage because seeing you is the highlight of my day.

Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

My friend thinks you’re kinda cute, but I don’t… I think you’re absolutely gorgeous!

Are you a hipster, because you make my hips stir.

I need a dollar, but I only have 90 cents… do you want to be my dime?

If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say “I love you” with my last breath!

You remind me of a magnet because you sure are attracting me over here!

Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?

I sneezed because God blessed me with you.

I know where they give out free drinks… it’s a place called “My House”!

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by YOU.

I was wondering if you had a spare heart? Mine seems to have been stolen.

Is your dad a drug dealer? Cause you’re so Dope!

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb!

Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

How come you’re not on top of a Christmas tree? I thought that’s where angels belonged.

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

How was heaven when you left it?

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?

You know, Dr Phil says I’m afraid of commitment… want to help prove him wrong?

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

Are you a Snickers bar? Cause you satisfy me.

Pinch me. [Why?] You’re so beautiful I must be dreaming.

This time next year, let’s be laughing together.

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.

I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.

I hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!

I can’t believe I’ve been here the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find ‘The One’, all I have time to say is “goodbye”.

Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

Charizards are red, Squirtles are blue, if you were a Pokemon, I would choose you!

Are you a bank loan? Because you’ve got my interest.

If you were a flower, you’d be a damnnn-delion

If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.

People call me John, but you can call me tonight.

Hello, how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn’t ask you how you looked!

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

You’re like pizza. Even when you are bad, you’re good.

Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one.

Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you’re a-Dora-ble!

Be unique and different, say yes.

Darn, I always get “love” and “lust” mixed up.

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] ‘Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!

Is your name Mickey? Because you’re so FINE!

Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.

Do you have a name or can I just call you mine?

I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

There’s only one thing I want to change about you. Your last name.

Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine?

If I were a cat, I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Your smile lit up the room, so I just had to come over.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

You can’t be my first, but you can be my last.

I lost my rubber duckie. Would you bathe with me instead?

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

You know how I got these guns? [Point to biceps] Lifting children out of poverty.

Keep an eye out for elves with ropes and a blindfold! Why? Cause I asked Santa for you this Christmas.

I used to be a Gambler, but then I realized that all I needed was the Queen of my Heart.

Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!

Do you live in a cornfield, cause I’m stalking you.

Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you’re lacking some Vitamin Me.

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.

Please call 9-1-1, because you just made my heart stop!

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!

I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.

Does your father sell diamonds? Because you are FLAWLESS!

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that’s right, we’ve only met in my dreams.

Blue eyes, red lips, pale face. So pretty. You look like the flag of France.

How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice… Hi, I’m (insert name here).

Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.

I want to be your teardrop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

Here’s the key to my house, my car… and my heart.

Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?

Where do you hide your wings?

Your body is 60% water, and I’m thirsty.

Do you have a name or can I call you mine?

Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest.

There isn’t a word in the dictionary to describe how beautiful you are.

Roses are red violets are blue, I can’t rhyme but can I date you?

Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

Are you Mexican? Because you’re my Juan and only!

I’ll give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead.

Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.

Are you a good cuddler? I might let you join my gang.

Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best, a man can get.

Wanna go bowling? I thought it might be right up your alley.

My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.

Please call an ambulance, your beauty is killing me.

Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

Do you smoke pot? Because weed be cute together.

Are you Hurricane Katrina? Cause you’re blowing me away.

When God made you, he was showing off.

I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect.

Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!

Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

If it weren’t for that DAMNED sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.

If you were a steak, you would be well done.

Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m lovin’ it!

Girl, you’re like Mastercard – absolutely priceless.

It’s a good thing I wore gloves today. Otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle.

Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one.

Roses are red, violets are blue, it would be a shame if I couldn’t date you!

I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

You shouldn’t wear makeup. It’s messing with perfection!

I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.

Baby, I might not be Sriracha sauce but, I sure will spice up your life.

Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate… Well, here I am!

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.

[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, “What are you doing?” You respond: “Yep! Made in heaven!”

Hey baby, I must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!

How is your fever? [Erm, what fever?] Oh… you just look really hot to me.

If you could put a price tag on beauty, you’d be worth more than Fort Knox.

Hey, don’t frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.

Are you a time traveller? Cause I see you in my future!

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.

Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you’re acute-y!

Spoon me like your favourite ice cream!

You so lovely, you make me wanna go out and get a job.

Are you African? Because you’re a frican babe.

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you’ve got some sweet buns!

If you were a tropical fruit, you’d be a Fine-apple!

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

You must be Jamaican because Jamaican me crazy.

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark, you still seem to shine.

I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not that pretty but damn look at you.

If I had to rate you out of 10, I’d rate you a 9… because I am the one that you are missing!

Give her 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and say “I will stop loving you when all the roses die.”

Are you made out of grapes? Because you are fine as wine!

The letter ‘X’ scares me [Why?] Because I never want to be yours.

Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours.

Are you an omelette? Because you’re making me egg-cited!

Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?

Put down that cupcake… you’re sweet enough already.

Are you a magician? Because Abraca-DAYUM!

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.

They say dating is a numbers game… so can I get your number?

Let’s make like a fabric softener and ‘Snuggle.

You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

Do you bleach your teeth? ‘Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let’s go prove it.

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

It’s dark in here. Wait! It’s because all of the light is shining on you.

Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I’ll be your man.

I am going to complain to Spotify about you not being this weeks hottest single.

Roses are red, and violets are blue; there’s nothing in the world prettier than you.

As she’s leaving… Hey, aren’t you forgetting something? [Her: What?] Me!

I may not be good at dancing, but I can tangle with you all night long.

Let me tie your shoes, cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Hi, I’m Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me?

Four plus four equals eight, but you plus me equals fate.

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I’m asking for is one from you.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Are your parent’s bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!

I wish I was cross-eyed, so I could see you twice.

Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.

Is there a rainbow today? Because I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

I blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to handle!

See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.

Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

You’re so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

Are you made of grapes? Cause you’re fine as wine.

Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me!

You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word.

I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you tonight?

I’m no electrician, but I can light up your day.

You dropped something! [What?] Your smile.

You Sexy, You Fine. I Really Wanna Make You Mine.

Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m loving it!

You can’t be my first, but you could be my next.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet butt.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten, I see!

You wanna know what’s beautiful? Reread the first word.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.

Call me Shrek because I’m head ogre heels for you!

Excuse me, but you dropped something back there” (What?) “This conversation, let’s pick it up later tonight.

Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal your heart, and you’ll steal mine.

If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

Is your father a mechanic? Because you’ve got a finely tuned body!

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Babe! You look so fine I could drink your bath water!

Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt – my eyes!

Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s’more.

Could you please step away from the bar? You’re melting all the ice!

Hey… Didn’t I see your name in the dictionary under “Shazaam!”?

Is your name “broom”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.

Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the naturally beautiful things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Is your name Dunkin? Because I Donut want to spend another day without you.

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

Is your dad a preacher? Cause girl, you’re a blessing.

I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away!

Is your nickname Chapstick? Because you’re da balm!

Your lips look so lonely… Would they like to meet mine?

Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!

You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Someone should call the police because you just stole my heart!

Do you have any raisins? [No] How about a date?

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

I have had a terrible day, and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and he says to her “I will stop loving you when all the roses die.”

When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

You are so beautiful, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!

When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.

Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit!

Do you have any sunscreen? ‘Cause you are burning me up!

I’m lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?

I heard you’re good in algebra, can you replace my X without asking Y.

Roses are red violets are blue. I didn’t know what perfect was until I met you.

Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one.

Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

Can I borrow a quarter? [“What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.

Excuse me, is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!

You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

When I first saw you, I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.

I must be in a museum because you indeed are a work of art.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you’re the bomb.

I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.

I need some answers to my math homework. Quick. What’s your number?

You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge.

Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.

Are you a microwave oven? Cause you melt my heart.

Your body is a wonderland, and I’d like to be Alice.

Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favourite.

If I’d follow you home, would you keep me?

Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other!

I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Do you work at Dick’s? Cause you’re sporting the goods.

Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’.

I could use some spare change, and you’re a dime.

Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?

SometYou’re so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.hing

Did you get your license suspended for driving so many guys crazy?

There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

I don’t really believe in love at first sight until I saw you.

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

Some people say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them has ever been in your arms.

Most people like to watch the Olympics because they only happen once every 4 years, but I’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.

My friends bet I can’t talk to the prettiest girl. Wanna use their money to buy drinks?

I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.

Do you have advanced radiation poisoning? Because you are glowing!

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be McGorgeous.

You’re That “Nothing” When People Ask Me What I’m Thinking About.

Did you die recently? Cause girl, you look like an angel to me.

I’m afraid of the dark… Will you sleep with me tonight?

Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

You are a 9 – you’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

Hello, are you married? [Yes] Well I didn’t hear you say “happily”.

Do I know you? Cause you look exactly like my next girlfriend.

If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.

You’re hotter than doughnut grease.

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

Do you know if there are any police around? Cause I’m about to steal your heart.

Roses are red, I have a crush, whenever I’m around you, all I do is blush.

If you were ground coffee, you’d be Espresso cause you’re sooooo fine.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile.

Baby, you make palms sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti.

I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.

[Holds out hand] Hey, I’m going for a walk. Will you hold this for me?

I’m not a hoarder, but I really want to keep you forever.

Want to know what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me.

Can I have your Instagram? My parents said I should follow my dreams.

Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favourite.

Are you Willy Wonka’s daughter, ‘cuz you look sweet and delicious.

You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

Fascinating. I’ve been looking at your eyes all night long, ’cause I’ve never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

You remind me of the 21 letters in the Alphabet (She: there 26 letters) Oh I forgot the U R A Q T.

I’d never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find.

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can’t hold it in.

Is your father, Little Caesar? Cause you look Hot ‘n Ready.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Are you the ocean? Cuz baby I want to swim in you all-day.

Smoking is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

I just had to come to talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

Roses are red, my face is too, that only happens when I’m around you.

I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

I should call you Google because you have everything I’m looking for.

Are you from Russia? ‘Cause you’re Russian my heart rate!

I don’t know if you’re beautiful, I haven’t gotten past your eyes yet.

Roses are red, violets are blue, lava is hot, and so are you.

Are you a volcano? Because I lava you.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

I would take you to the movies, but they don’t allow snacks.

You really shouldn’t wear makeup. You’re messing with perfection!

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

How much does it cost to date you? Cause damn, you look expensive!

Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.

If I was an octopus, all my 3 hearts would beat for you.

Are you a girl scout, cause you tie my heart in knots.

You must be the cure for Alzheimer’s because you’re unforgettable.

I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Do you have a band-aid? Cause I scrapped my knees falling for you.

You’re so attractive that my phone gets hot just from talking to you.

SometCan you touch me? I want to tell my friends I was touched by an Angel.hing

I’m feeling a little bit off today, but you definitely turned me on.

I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it.

If I were a stoplight, I would turn red every time you passed by me just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

For a moment, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

You’re so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you’d poop out toast!

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

Are you the sun? Because you’re so beautiful, it’s blinding me.

Chapter 6

Tinder Pick up Lines

Having trouble getting any replies to your cut and paste “Hey, how’s it going?” opening line on Tinder? I wonder why. Use these lines to get a response every time, without fail.

Note: Aggressive openers work on the girls who are ready to bang, which is about 20%. Helps way more if you’re attractive and/or have a great body (i.e. a six-pack).

Girth or length?

Sweet Jesus, the things I’d do to you…

[Name], I finally found you…

Your face says innocent… but that body is telling me something completely different.

After inspecting your photos, I’ve concluded that you’re too much of a good girl for me.

What’s a smart, attractive, young… man like myself doing without your number?

Hey, can I get your “up sexy” please?

Do you believe in love at first swipe?

Tinder brought us together for a reason, and that reason is babies.

**Insert number here**

Titanic. That’s my icebreaker. What’s up?

Your beauty blinded me; I’m going to need your number for insurance reasons.

What’s your number? I’ll text you on WhatsApp, we can meet this week.

If I was your boyfriend I’d never let you go, I can take you places you haven’t ever been before.

I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.

Sit on my face, and I will eat my way to your heart.

Hey, I’m at the store now. What do you prefer eggs or pancakes?

If you had to name your noonie after a movie, what would it be called?

Only joking, made you look :)

Your place or mine?

I’ve had a crush on you for 3.6 years.

Did you fall from heaven, or were you kicked out for being too damn naughty?

Damn! [shakes head in disgust] You’re so pretty you actually made me forget my terrible pick-up line.

I’ve seen you before… you were at the spankathon downtown 2 weeks ago. You are one kinky lady ;)

Roses are red, and so are your lips. You should sit on my face and wiggle your hips.

Phew! I almost swiped left and had a heart attack. Saved at the last minute!

I hope you don’t mind cheesy pick-up lines because if you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

Hello. I am a Nigerian Prince, and I can make you rich beyond your wildest dreams! I just need your phone number, bank account, and social security number.

Your eyes say “come to bed”, your mouth says “you’re not going anywhere big boy.”

What would you rather have from me? A) An excellent date (restaurant/movie) B) Deep, intelligent conversations followed by cuddles C) Multiple intense orgasms.

Congratulations, you have been voted the hottest girl here, your prize a date with me!

I have 4% battery remaining. I chose to message you. Did I choose wisely?

Hey, what’s your WhatsApp/Line/Telegram? I hate texting on Tinder. What’s your number? I’m sick of Tinder now.

Are you ready to talk? I can only take so much flirting from a distance.

WhatsApp/Line/Telegram is better, what’s your number? I’ll add you on there.

I’m sure you get this all the time, but you look like a mix between Fergie and Jesus.

I know this profile is fake, but can I get the number of the model you used in your pics?

Hey, what’s your name? No wait that might be too forward…

What is your dad’s number? I need to call him to thank you him for producing that ass.

Sorry, it took me so long to respond, I was at Whole Foods trying to figure out what you like for breakfast.

I guarantee you’ve NEVER had a cuddler like me before. It’s ridiculous how good I am.

What do you want more? 1) cuddles 2) a bedtime story 3) some dick

Did you grow up on a farm? You sure know how to raise a cock ;)

I usually go for 8’s, but I guess I’ll settle for a 10.


My apartment. Tonight. You bring wine. I bring pizza. We both bring the cuddles.

First time on Tinder, I’m confused. Does this mean we are dating now or…?

I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

Not gonna lie. I swiped for the dog…

You look like a female version of Nicholas Cage.

I lost my number can I borrow yours?

Are you open-minded?

I’ve been told my fingers are magical…

Game time: What’s your wildest fantasy?

Did you know you’re the hottest Stacie on Tinder?

Are you a fuzzy bunny?

If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.

You’re everything I thought I never wanted in a girl.

How do I tell my dog he was adopted?

Hey, can I stay at your place tonight? #NoHobo

Hey, are you a good cuddler? I might just let you join my cuddle gang.

Thank God I’m wearing gloves girl or you’d be too hot to handle… DAYMN.

Hey gorgeous, will you be my Tinderella?

Hey, just finished 629 pushups, pretty tired.

Allow me to rescue you from your crowd of admirers.

Who says men don’t ask for directions? Because I need help; I’m getting lost in your eyes.

Maybe you can help a brother out. I forgot my password, and it keeps giving me this hint… “Amanda’s phone number”. Can you help?

Are you my appendix by any chance? Coz, I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

Favourite food when you come home drunk and horny?

How horny are you right now on a scale of 1-10?

That was you, wasn’t it? I saw you…

All I’m missing is a little spoon…

Lower your expectations and let’s begin.

Nothing fixes a bad day, like seeing a pretty girl smile. Will you smile for me?

Do you consider yourself a feminist? Why/why not?

Daynmmm gurrrrl. Dat ass though…

Truth or dare?

Stop flirting with me Grace, we’ve only just met…

We’re a match! The next step is to pick a wedding date, right?

On a scale of 1 to America… how free are you tonight?

Want to come over to my place and watch porn on my 32″ flat screen mirror?

Do you peel a banana from the top or bottom?

There you are! There’s a reward for your capture up in heaven ya know.

Photo #2 is the best…

If I were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seeds?

I’ve had a crush on you for at least 3 hours.

Mom? Is that you??

In a little more than 24 hours… I’m getting married.

Kiss me if I’m wrong but, [pause for a moment] isn’t your name Alice?

Ok, let’s skip the small talk… Are we hooking up tonight or what?

Would you prefer to fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?

There must be something wrong with my eyes. They seem to be stuck on you!

Awww, you look so cute. Such a shame that you won’t be able to handle this man ;( Prettiest smile I’ve seen on Tinder.

Today is your lucky day. I’m going to give you the satisfaction of turning me down. Go ahead. I dare you.

Excuse me; [confused face] I think… you have something in your eye. [linger for a moment] Ah, nope, it’s just a sparkle.

Chapter 7

Nerdy Pick up Lines

If you prefer to read a book rather than go to the movies or know that the capital city of Australia is, in fact, Canberra and NOT what most people think (Syndey). Then you’re probably a nerd, and these lines are for you.

If you’re a REAL nerd, you probably won’t be using these on real life women anyway, so nothing to worry about ;)

You make my software turn into hardware!

You’ve stolen the ASCII to my heart.

You put the SPARC in my workstation.

If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.

I’d get a T3 to watch your streaming video.

Need me to unzip your files?

SomethYour body must be made of oxygen and neon because you are the One.ing

Are you fossil? Because I want to date you!

Every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up.

My favourite attractive force is Van der Waal’s force. Can you feel it? I’ll move closer if you can’t.

You seem to be travelling at the speed of light because time always seems to stop when I look at you.

Are you a high test score? Because I just want to take you home and show you to my parents.

Your name must be Andromeda because we are destined to collide.

Is your name Google? Because you have everything, I’ve been searching for.

If you were a web browser, you’d be called a Fire-foxy lady.

Your beauty rivals the graphics of Call of Duty.

Isn’t your e-mail address beautifulgirl @mydreams.com?

SometWhat’s a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?hing

Come to my, and I’ll give you sudo access.

I need to hop over to Facebook for a second to change my status to smitten.

I googled your name earlier… I clicked on ‘I’m Feeling Lucky.’

Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean.

Come, let’s measure the coefficient of friction between us.

You must be related to Nikola Tesla because you’re electrifying.

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.

Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

Want to experience a gamma-ray burst?

We have such great chemistry that we should do some biology together.

If I was a drum, I’d let you bang me all day long!

I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.

You got me stuck on Caps Lock if you know what I mean.

If you won’t let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.

My ‘up-time’ is better than BSD.

Where’s the ‘like’ button for that smile?

No, that’s not an iPod mini in my pocket. I’m just happy to see you.

What do you say we play a game of “Words With More Than Friends?”

Can I stick my flash drive in your USB port?

Are you into science? Because I lab you so much!

Are you made of uranium? I’m made of iodine! That explains why all I can see is U and I together.

My hypothalamus must be secreting serotonin right now because you’re making me happy!

I used to be able to recite the English alphabet before we met. Now, I can’t get past “u.”

Is your name Wi-fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.

How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?

I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.

SomethNo, that’s not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.ing

You’re making me feel like I have something in common with these pop-up ads.

Come with me, let’s convert our potential energy into kinetic energy.

Let’s hang out sometime. You bring your beaker, and I’ll bring my stirring rod. You’re hotter than a Bunsen burner.

If I supply the voltage and you supply the resistance, imagine the currents we can make together.

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!

Are you sitting on the F5 key? Cause your ass is refreshing.

I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.

I’ll bet my hard drive is the biggest you’ve ever seen.

If you ever need to get rid of a trojan, don’t hesitate to call me!

Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element.

Wanna exchange genetic information with me?

You had me at “Hello World.”

Are you a computer keyboard? Because you’re my type.

You totally spiked my traffic.

Hey Baby, Let me hack your kernel.

Can I do a penetration test on your back door?

You’re more special than relativity.

You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts. It’s how you apply the force.

According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your body heat with me.

Are you my homework? Because I’d have to do you hard on my table the whole night.

Want to see my HARD Disk? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy.

Hey, how ’bout I take off your cover and insert a way bigger CPU.

Roses are #ff0000, violets are #0000ff, all my base belongs to you.

What’s the difference between a crush and a Facebook account? [what?] I’m not rapidly developing a Facebook account on you.

I was wondering if you’d like to go back to My-Space, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo until I Google all over your Facebook?

Did you know that chemists do it on the table periodically? Let’s be chemists for a day!

You must be a pile of dinosaur bones because I dig you.

Me without you is like a nerd without braces.

Baby, you just turned my bronze into iron.

You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.

I’d switch to emacs for you.

If you were an ISP, I’d dial you all day long.

You auto-complete me.

You are my density!

Your lab or my lab?

Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are BeAuTi-ful.

Wanna partner up so we can test the spring potential of my bed mattress?

You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct usage of grammar.

Are you an angel, because your texture mapping is divine!

If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.

You’re so hot, I bet you’re the one causing global warming.

I hope you’re an ISO file because I’d like to mount you.

You are the Apple of my iMac.

I didn’t mean to ogle you, but I’d sure like to Google you.

Hey girl, can you sit on my laptop?

I lava you! Do you lava me?

You make my dopamine levels go all silly!

My servers never go down… but I do!

If you were an eBay auction, I’d totally ‘buy it now’.

Your Bosons are giving me a Hadron.

You’re sweeter than fructose.

Can you put a Trojan on my Hard Drive?

WebMD says your love is contagious.

How about we go back to my place and form a covalent bond?

I must be a diamond now because you just gave me a hardness of 10.

I wish I was an ion, so I could form an exothermic bond with you.

Could you tell me the oxidation state of this atom and your phone number?

You’re so hot that you managed to melt the elastics in my underwear.

I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

Hi, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

I must be using Apple maps because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

My favourite element on the periodic table is Uranium because I am in love with U.

You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!

You must be a star because I can’t stop orbiting around you.

I think I’ve discovered my supersymmetric partner in you.

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?

I’d ask if you come here often, but I already stalk you on FourSquare.

Let’s unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together.

You’re so pretty, I wouldn’t even need to use an Instagram filter if I took your photo.

I wish I was your coronary artery so that I could be wrapped around your heart.

I love you like an unspoken metaphor. That’s why I had to use a simile.

Falling in love with you takes less time than my DNA takes to replicate.

Even if there was no gravity on this planet, I would still fall for you.

Whenever you and I get together, it’s like a superposition of 2 waves in phase.

If we were connected on Linkedin, I’d endorse you all night long.

Hey, quick question, does this handkerchief smell like CHCl3?

Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s.

I wish you were Broadband, so I could get high-speed access.

You have a trojan? Hmm… I think I’ll need to take a look at that backdoor.

Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?

You must be Windows 95 because you’ve got me feeling so unstable.

Are your pants a compressed file? Because I’d love to unzip them!

Hey girl, are you gold? Because I’m in Au of your beauty.

You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life.

Is there a science room nearby, or am I just sensing chemistry between us?

Go with me right now, and you’ll be (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2.

Want to see my Red Hat?

How about we go home, and you handle my exception?

If we were chromosomes, you’d be my homologous pair.

Nice Set of Floppies!

Hey babe, wanna make a zygote?

Your homepage or mine?

I’d like to play on your laptop.

Girl, you are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

I’ve got my ion you, baby.

Chapter 8

Smooth Pick up Lines

In your head, you imagine yourself casually walking over to a girl and saying the coolest line that she instantly laughs at, followed by her throwing herself at you and begging you to take her home.

Probably not going to happen, but these smooth lines might get you a laugh or two.

Side note: Smooth one-liners are a little more complicated because they require you to be aware of your surroundings, rather than relying on a prescribed phrase.

You notice a girl has Tinder on her phone and say “I’ve got an excellent tip for Tinder actually”.

When she says “What’s that?”

You come back with “Just delete it and then go out with me”.

You see a girl on a bad date in a bar, clearly feeling uncomfortable. Wait for the guy to go to the toilet and say to her “What’s your number? I’ll call you in 5 minutes and say your cat died and you need to leave”.

When she gives you her number, call her as promised. Then meet her outside the bar and say “Time for one more drink?”

You see a girl in on her own reading a book, walk up to her and say “Excuse me, is that the book where the guy at the end takes a pretty girl out for a coffee?”

Wait for the penny to drop and then raise a smile to let her know you’re joking. Follow up with introducing yourself.

Approach a girl at a bar and say “Let’s play the would you rather game.”

She’ll most likely be taken aback by your directness. But continue with “Would you rather, have breakfast in bed, a romantic lunch in the park or watch a rom-com with a handsome man while drinking fancy cocktails?”

She’ll choose one or sometimes all three. To which you reply with “Great, choice. What’s your number, we’ll set something up this week to do that”.

Walk past a girl and say “Hey, can you hold this for a second” while curling your fist up. She’ll have a confused puppy dog look on her face and eventually offer her hand.

Put your fist in hers, uncurl your fingers and hold her hand. Then casually say “Thanks”.

She should laugh, then you can follow up with “Hey, I’m [YOUR NAME]”.

Approach a girl in the coffee shop and say “Excuse me, I just wanted to ask you 1 quick question for a survey I’m doing”.

She will say ok. Then respond with. “Let’s say a guy thinks you’re super cute and wants to get your number. Would you prefer him to a) confidently approach you and introduce himself or b) be more indirect and talk to you first?

Whatever she picks, do that and then ask for her number.

If she says A, then just introduce yourself.

If she says B, then talk about the weather for a second and then ask for her number. She’ll usually laugh.

Walk up to a girl limping with a painful look on your face and say “Hey, sorry I just hurt my knee falling for you, can you help?”

After she realises your not in real pain or hurt, she’ll laugh. Then you can drop the act and carry on the conversation.

Look confused while approaching a girl and raise your finger as if you’re trying to remember her. Then say “I know you from somewhere right?”.

Her: Erm, no, I don’t think so.

You: Oh yeah, you were in my dreams last night.

Note: Cheesy? Oh yes, but smooth if delivered like a boss.

If you see a girl looking sad, say “You need to tell me, how’s it possible such a pretty girl to look so sad?”.

Note: Obviously, this is risky because her dog might have been run over last night, so be cautious. Hopefully, she’s just got resting bitch face.

What's the Best Pick up Line?

Yes and no. Honestly? It’s as simple as this.

Walk up to a girl with your hand out and say “Hey, I’m [NAME]”, while semi-smiling.

The trick to making this work is by having unshakeable confidence. It works because it’s direct, there’s no fluff or try-hard nonsense.

Make sure you don’t smile too much as this will seem creepy or like you’re a salesman.

Also, extend your hand normally, like you’re greeting a friend. Not a politicians handshake.

Conclusion: What to do Next

So that’s it, every pick up line you will ever need.

A word of advice.

Don’t be the guy that spouts off one line after another in the hope that he gets a quick chuckle. You will almost certainly end up looking like a clown, which is not attractive.

Choose one line from above, practice and master it, so it sounds natural, then use that as your go-to opener.

Oh and one more thing.

What’s your favourite pick up line?

We do not own these lines. If you see something you feel was created by you or someone you know. We’ll be happy to credit a source.

1 Comment


Awesome list! I’ve been using chat up lines for years, they work incredibly well in bars when you’re a little bit drunk and you deliver them with a cheeky smile :)


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