Text Game done right

I get asked about text game all the time recently.  I’ve got tons of stuff, but here are some basics that should tighten up your follow-up skills and get you more dates!
Here are seven text game tips:
1. Never use XXs or smileys. If you are including these in your messages, it’s like giving a girl too many compliments – she knows you like her and at a minimum she makes you work harder and potentially she gets scared off. A girl can put these in her messages and it can be ambiguous. She will put Xs in to her female and male friends. The difference is that guys will ONLY do it when they like someone. So, even if she starts it, don’t succumb to the temptation to get all lovey dovey! Once you’ve slept with her, you can send her all the smileys you like.

2. Never have multiple question marks in a message. “How was your weekend? What are you up to? How’s work?” The more you ask, the harder it is to answer the message, and the less chance that she’ll reply. Limit things to one question per message and make it one that is pretty simple or interesting to answer.

3. Don’t ask for a date in the first text. Most guys send: “Hey nice to meet you last night, would you like to meet for a drink this week?” In most cases, this is going to fail. When she met you she might have been in to you, but now you are catching her when she is with friends or at work and she isn’t in the same mood. It’s also a big ask to get a girl to commit to spending a couple of hours with you when she maybe only chatted to you for a few minutes. Much better is to wait until Monday and then send something like: “Hey nice to meet you on Saturday. How was the rest of your weekend?” and then move on to the next step…

4. Sense the receptivity. She could reply with “Yeah it was pretty good thanks”, or she could reply with “Oh hey, nice to meet you too, yeah it was really fun, just had a quite one on Sunday and now I’m back at work, how about you?” These girls can now easily be classified into ‘Up for it’ and ‘Not up for it’. If she is up for it, it’s time to send a text and include the question “what are you up to this week?” then follow-up with “we should meet up, when is good for you, Wednesday or Friday?”

5. If she is cold, leave it a while. If she can be categorised as ‘not up for it’, we should leave it a while and then in a week or so try to re-engage. “What up Playa?! Some friends and I are going to a wicked party on Friday, you guys should come down!” You can send a text like this every couple of weeks and some time she might bite. If not, you don’t lose anything because you aren’t asking for a response and you are out having fun anyway, so it’s not like saying “Hi would you like to go for a drink with me tonight” which makes it sound like you have nothing else going on in your life if she says no.

6. The date you suggest should be based on how solid the number is. If the girl is obviously up for it, you can suggest that you both meet for a drink, you can also call and have a good chance that she’ll answer the phone. If it’s more in the middle, it’s much safer to invite her and her friends out somewhere so that it’s something she can easily agree too. Meeting for drinks before a club night as a big group is a lot easier to agree to than meeting 1on1 for a girl that isn’t 100% sure.

7. The Recovery. I’ve managed to get girls back into my life who’s numbers I’ve gotten up to ONE YEAR earlier. You can send a message like this:
“Oh my god, you’ve been kidnapped! Don’t worry, I’ll rescue you! Are they feeding you? I’ll bring you some chocolate, which do you prefer, dark, milk, or white?”
It’s funny and will usually get a response where other messages have failed. If you’ve let a few fall off the radar, try and bulk text to them and see how many you can resurrect, I’d guess it could be up to 75%!

Those are some quite specific things you should be doing, but it’s also important that your text messages say the right things about you. In general your texts should communicate that you:
• Have plenty of stuff going on in your life.
• Have other options.
• Aren’t desperate and could take it or leave it.

By following these rules you should be able to turn more of your numbers into dates.

Let me know if you have any text/follow-up questions!  Cheers!

Also, if you are in the UK and haven’t been to Effortless Attraction, it’s only £10 for 5 hours and amazing stuff.  Check it out here:  http://www.puatraining.com/effortless-attraction-event

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  1. Hey Rich,

    I met a girl in a club last saturday, kiss close + number close. Not too much confort due to the noise of the music. I sent to her a text message in the same night when I was home : "Hey, this is Define, now you have my number too ;)"

    I don't know what is the structure to follow in order to arrange a date ? Should I call her, talk a little bit of her week-end and then propose the date ? Or should I send some text message like "Hey, nice to meet you. How was your week-end ?", wait for her response and then propose a date ?

    I have read your book, I have also has good results with your Stealth Attraction System, but now I don't know what to do with this girl !


  2. i heard a lot about that in the last few month and i think it might be true. Eventhough i believe everyone is responsible for himself. Just my opinion…

  3. Wow i never realised how much text game impacted me in my everyday life, :) i use lots of smileys cause i'm generally happy i never put into that much thought about text game, i'll definetly consider this. THANKS GAMBLER !

  4. John Bowen says:

    ho ho! not really gambler – i have to say im slowly edging to your point of view – just got back from a date with this Cambridge educated gorl that went royally badly – looks and charm (realnot acted) are what's key and unfort i dont really have either – i went on a bootcamp in the us and I have t say it was basically fairly rubbish – it was worth it just to say that I had at least explored that avenue and it had failed, though

  5. Not Really Gambler says:

    well mate, first you have to tell her a lame not-funny joke like squirrels kidnapped you let me bring you ice cream, this will really spike her emotions and if she doesnt respond then punish her but not texting her with my classic not funny patterns. she will REALLY be coming back for more then! and make sure when you get her on a date be really annoying by utilising annoying 'im so alpha' techniques to make sure she she knows who is incharge! a f-close is for certain! (not really. well maybe, depends if she likes you in the first place like that but might aswell run some pointless routines)

  6. Hey Gambler!
    Thanks for that usefull stuff…
    There is a girl with that i had not much kino (she seemed to avoid my movements) but nice rapport.
    I have exchanged some text sms where she made some effort, like asking me questions. Now i asked "what are you up to next week" as you described it. But I dont know if its right to go for a date in the next sms. Any advice?

  7. John Bowen says:

    I have to say I strongly disagree with this advice – though I do agree with a lot of what Gambler usually says

    If youve got a girl’s number the first move you should always make is to CALL her – of course theres a possibility of her flaking and it all depends on how strong the connection was as to whether that happens or not but the call must be the first move. By texting you might think that youre sending a mixed message thus increasing your power but in reality she knows youre interested by this stage (you already got her number and bothered to text) so in reality the text comes across as a weasel way to avoid the discomfort of a direct contact – a call also has the added advantage of increasing recognition – even if she doesnt pick up and only gets a voicemail message she will still have a physical reminder of you: your voice when she listens to the message.

    If you do have to text you have to make it more interesting than what you got up to the rest of the weekend – thats simply LIMP

    Richard (I hope you dont mind if I use that name) I have a question – what happens if youre in the club, get great kino with a girl, isolte her then snog her then exchange numbers then call or text and get no reply? what do you think the reason might be for the flakiness? This happened to me twice recently – both very fit girls who were quite sober during th interaction. In one case I called but didnt get through and in the other case I texted and didnt get a reply! Any advice?
    Many thanks

  8. John Bowen says:

    sorry – final query – how do you have any chance of reviving if she doesnt reply to the call/text – how many days before calling again etc or do you just jump ship at that point?

  9. Summerbreeze says:

    Hi Gambler,
    Good advice on text gaming.
    I’ve established a rapport with a girl through something you may not have mentioned before – The Cute Kid Approach. I took my 5 year old into a cafe on a few occassions and discovered a really nice staff member in there. We’re talking daytime gaming here. She and my boy hit it off really well although I took care to let her know that although I’m a loving father, I’m also a single one. I think it helped to establish me as Mr Comfort.
    Today I went in there on my own to escalate seeing as I knew it was her last day working there.
    Before I could properly ask her out she gave me her business card (she’s a post-graduate sports therapist) and said to call her if I needed a sports massage. I considered that a solid number close, even if I didn’t think she meant it in a sexual way.
    I immediately asked her out for the weekend but she told me that she was going away to visit her home town for a few days. It wasn’t a blow out.
    I gave her my business card and we agreed that I would text her this Saturday and that we could go out for a drink next weekend, although no fixed time or place. She is High Value and my intention here is for something deeper and longer term than just a pick up.
    Gambler (or anyone else), can you talk me through my text game? – it’s all I’ve got at this point. I’m not going to come over too needy but I do want a first date.
    Many thanks.

  10. Thanks Gambler will check them out. I only use pick up books for ideas on openers which i then play with and use. Just about to get started on your book, but uni exams first.

    In relation to this post got a girl's number on Saturday night. Was serving her early on Saturday night in the bar. She returned with her number and told me to call her. I text her when i finished making the joke "If this is a flirt divert number for Radio One i wont be impressed lol" She text back continuing the joke and so i upped my game and mentioned that i would be out on sunday with a group of mates and she was more than welcome to join us. She turned up on sunday and i kiss closed. Here comes the wierd bit i could have F closed but it was too easy and so i dodged it saying i had an early start and she would be too much of a distraction. Then left it till today to text her back. She was cold to begin with but a little joking and general chat and she is back onside. I already know she was interested so now it will boil down to maintaining this for the next few days till i let her have what she wants.

    One thing i would say smileys help with is showing a little emotion in a text. Ive lost count the amount of times ive been texting a girl and made a joke or given her a backhanded compliment but finished it with a smiley. It makes it slightly more light hearted as some times a text can be misinterpreted. The problem with texts and even emails is that emotions arnt the easyist to get across or even pick up right from another person. At the end of the day for me its a means to an end, you got her number and getting it in the first place is a postive. If you are annoyed it didnt work out, think in terms of this: It is only a negative experience if i dont take a postive from it. I.e you aproached,and had her interested enough to get a number. Next time will be better

    All the best, Saint

  11. Gambler says:

    Good stuff Onder!

  12. Gambler says:

    Leanadros, if you have holidays and a 3 week break in-between the meeting and proposed date, it can be tough. I'd try to get her on the phone when she got back and have a long-ish chat to catch up and then sort out the date. Text her with "you back?" and then call right away when she responds.

  13. Gambler says:

    It's 3am Tuesday night and I'm finally back on the replies guys!

    Saint, I recommend the old Richard Bandler books and Milton Erickson. I don't recommend and pick up books. There is way too much theory out there and practice is what's best.

    You asked how old our students are. 29 average. normal bootcamp has a 18-20 year old and a 45+ guy.

  14. All of us need to remember that texting is basically a means of communication in the expectation that they will respond. If i feel im texting her in a way which i feel is comfortable to me and she doesn’t respond, then i know that she isn’t genuinely interested in me…

    If on the other hand, i’m consciously behaving in a way where i’m trying to get her to respond, then i know its because shes responding because of the game i’m playing versus being genuinely invested…

    I put this to the test by initially texting a girl i number closed by using Game and making her responsive to it… Then later acting myself (non needy but normal) and she didn’t respond… Then phoning with a private number and have her answer… It seemed to me she was more interested in the game i played versus the person i genuinely was… That was my way of qualifying her as to whether she was genuine or a ‘Game’ player… Most girls are game players but the real genuine diamonds are the ones that will invest in you genuinely :)

    This might seem controversial, but it has to be said based on my experience… I’ve met the most awesome girls who i didn’t feel like i had to act a certain way in order to catch her attention.

    The fact is guys, the minute you have to do something thats outside yourself, you’re over investing… And as we no, over investment is neediness.

    Be yourself, if she doesn’t like you for it, then you know she isn’t right for you…

  15. Hey Jordan… If a girl invests in your either way… It's cool… :)

  16. This also goes back to what Sweeney pointed out in his article regarding Honesty, Trust and Respect. He based it on relationships when in fact you can apply this from the moment you meet her… With regards to texting, If you're genuine (Being yourself) in your texts without trying to force anything out of her and she doesn't invest, but are willing to walk away.

    Not only is this coming from a position of high value, but also shows that you're not willing to over invest and walk away which shows strength, standards, and self respect… The fact is, we can't make anyone love you. Let them go, if they come back, the great!… If not, equally cool as you now know she isn't right for you…

  17. If I text a HB and she calls me instead of texting back, IOI right?

  18. lionman says:

    Hi Richard,

    Love the advice. Just had one specific special case. Got a solid kiss close with a girl last weekend, engaged with her friend too, spent two hours together in the club, left together etc.

    we have texted and she said it would be lovely to see me again, i responded offering friday or next week. she said she could not do friday and next week she was abroad and offered week after. i said the week after i was abroad and would have to be the week after. so all in all, if we met, it would be 3 weeks after original kiss close. how does one manage this in between period. i kept it very relaxed, saying at least we would have a lot to discuss by then, but am worried if i look like a relaxed player i might be offering her the opportunity to feel buyer's remorse even though initially it was a very solid close.

    what do you think on this one? would appreciate a female view on that too…


  19. heya man…

    question for solve :

    i have seem a lot of guy in my place texting a girl for introducing himself and not approaching them,is this a good thing to do so?for me i have said "NO 100%" :)

    but a few days or so my friend hook up a girl and likely to become his girlfriend?


  20. Hi guys and gals and Gambler. Brand new to the community however been using some stuff since 2007. Was gutted to see you put the book back in at that realy low offer again, as i missed the first set put on and bought it for the full price. Ive also just bought the Mystery method and 2 Robert Greene books any others you would highly recommend? Two quick questions as well;

    1) Whats the age range you tend to work with roughly?

    2) What are your views on cold reading?

    All the best

  21. James C says:

    cheers richard.

    Appreciate the feedback and makes total sense to me!

    I'm not too bothered anyway. she smokes :p

    Just dont want to make the same mistake twice

  22. Great article… included some stuff i had never even thought of..

  23. "Bulk texting" … lol :-)

  24. Wow, nice 1 Richie! Made me realise a number of mistakes I make, n I thought I was an ol' hat in this!… As soon as I read some o ur tips they made immediate sense.

    Keep educatin n surprisin us!

    Muchas gracias
    Xxx??? lol

  25. Dexterity says:

    Just thought I'd slip in a word for word account of a text I used recently to resurrect 2 numbers that flaked, sent this a week and a half after the previous communication (which was a very lame follow up on both girls in all honesty):

    "I applied for a job in a mental hospital… They said I need 24 hrs of experience with a retard… u wana chill tomorrow? I got crayons"

    Both responded very quickly and latched onto the suggestion that I might have wanted to 'chill tomorrow' by suggesting we meet up.


  26. Hey Gambler,

    2 simple questions for you

    1) Adam Lyons told me to use smileys if we're chatting via text or facebook to differ if we're joking and to express ourselves. I tried and it works. Any analysis on why it still works??

    2) How to ask for her reply without being needy?? Is "Have u got my message?? *operator name* sucks lately, so I wonder if you got my message?* (sometimes she really doesn't get the text because of the operator's problem.


    Best pal,
    Steven ;)

  27. Awesome, Gambler. That makes a lot of sense. She did mention she didn't like people looking at her face, and she doesn't make a lot of eye contact, so self-consciousness would make sense. Maybe when I asked her 'Why not?' and sort of pushed her a bit to tell me, I must have scared her off a little. Plus maybe there IS another guy on the scene that I don't know about. She's certainly a tough nut to crack, but I'll bide my time.
    Thanks again, buddy. You're a rock star

  28. Is it fine to delay the text reply for few hours or even a day as opposed to replying as soon as I read her text?

  29. Hey, I experimented a little with pattern in texts and as far as I noticed it worked very well to build comfort quickly and resulted in solid dates.
    The challenge is to keep it short enough not to bombard her with a seven page text message and not to start too early into.
    The other observation I made was, that jokes, especially takeaways and reverses, shouldn’t be stretched out too long. Preferably they should finish in the same text, otherwise u might get an unexpected response and not be able to finish them which sounds just lame if u try.
    In my experience far better work triplets and comparisons with exaggerations just before or after you touch a serious point. That way you can even criticize her.
    Stay away from irony and sarcasm and watch out that any humor relates also somehow to her, not just to you.
    Otherwise I almost completely rely on text, cause it’s not a quick question at an inconvenient time, she agrees on, but something which sits in her in-box, something she can read and agree on, which makes for way more solid dates.
    Actually my goal is for her to suggest to meet again, I know that takes a little more time and effort, but again makes for more solid dates.
    Therefore my last and most important note:
    Before you text get yourself out of that needy state of mind that you want any result or any certain response from her and get into the mindset of: Hey girl, let’s see whether u can meet my standards and make a good company for an evening or so.
    Be goal oriented, not goal centered and enjoy.
    (P.S. thank Juggler for this best of all insights ;))

  30. Hey Ian. I don't use too many !!, and like I said only one ? per message, maximum! Exclamation marks are safer. I play cold and that works nicely because it creates ambiguity and contrast vs the over-keen guys she is used to dealing with. It makes her feel safer about meeting me because I will be chilled and not turn into a stalker! This is a big concern for girls!

  31. Hey Marshal, it's common for a girl to have different characters in person vs text/email/facebook. You need to seduce her without making it so obvious or needing her to say anything. Be seductive. Again it's not what you say but your entire energy. I teach this in a bunch of places so it's pretty easy to find.

    Humour is different with Japanese and foreign people, keep it childish and silly and they tend to find it funny! Yes they won't get our sense of humour. What you did sounds like a good strategy. "I'll protect you baby" and put your arm round her and squeeze her, that's a good way to escalate. But I think you are at the stage where you want to escalate and the texts aren't so important.

  32. JoeJumbo, if she keeps talking about YOUR ex, it's great, big IOI. She wants you.
    Search the blog for seduction and seductive character using the box at the top. You'll find the stuff we've given on being seductive.

  33. Armand, Facebook is slightly different. Longer messages are okay, but should basically follow the same rules. But getting the girls on there is a good idea. I think another good rule is that her messages should always be longer than yours.

  34. Danilo, you don't leave the friend zone in text messages, wait until you are in person. The only goal of the text should be to bridge between a solid number close and a successful date. When you either try and warm them up over text or make them think of you sexually it's just so much harder to do on text vs in person so make as much of it in person as possible.

  35. James, not a good idea to do that by text.
    “hey i know we were drunk last night but i know we’ll get along great. we should meet up some time”.

    this one reinforces the negative aspect of your meeting. In person at the point of close you can cover this stuff. You also ask for a date on the first text (although not directly suggesting a time and place, you are asking for her to say yes or no to this in the first message). Better would have been "nice to meet you on Saturday, how was the rest of your weekend?" with maybe something like an in-joke or nickname too.

    “hey.. playing hard to get already? how was the rest of your night on saturday?”

    I don't like this one or the David D – don't play hard to get with a man who's hard to get. It's better not to focus on the fact that she is ignoring you because it makes it an issue. better to act like nothing happened. So, get off the subject and ask an innocent and unrelated question vs confronting the issue head-on.

  36. Rob, very tough one. Sounds like you played it right. She is attracted if she lets you escalate like that. She might have a BF and consider flirting and touching fine but not kissing. She might have been self-conscious (bad breath) or something. I think that you have a right to think her weird/bad for leading you on, so ignoring her is the right course of action. I don't ever ask a girl why in those situations. She may well get back in touch, otherwise it's up to you if you want to get in touch again, but maybe better to find some more girls that don't mess you around!

  37. hey,i do think those are right.just sometimes even the girls that may be up to it tend to be very stubborn and sometimes dont even reply to the text.worst case scenario!what then?

  38. Dear Gambler,

    that was a great post! Question time…

    Is it a good/bad idea to be animated in txt's e.g. a lot of '!!' and '?!?' or remain more "cold", as you put it in a previous response?

    I'm trying to gauge whether in the first case this will appear fun or a bit desperate, and in the second case whether you will come across as high status or dull?


  39. amit ahmed says:

    i cant understand that i play the game and they send me a mail that i win the prize that i million us doller they tell me that my prize money is pending now a few days they cant send me massageso whats the problem pls give me sollution as soon as possibol im waiting for your mail my mail address is amit0189@yahoo.com

  40. amit ahmed says:

    i cant understand how can i play this game and i try it but ithey replay me some massage and i also read this they tell me that i m win i million doller who send me my address but few days a go they cant reply massage so now i want to know r they joke with me pls send my mail address

  41. Marshal says:

    I forgot, The way I built comfort was although through text, It was actually through interaction as well.

    She's in one of my classes, and I never talked to her until maybe 2 weeks ago. This extremely weird kid keeps on waiting for her after class and it creeps her out. I initiated the conversation by asking about him in which I realized the guy creeped her out.

    Is it possible to build comfort via text, by talking about the stalker and protecting her from him? She know's that if Im not around the creepy stalker guy will make a move. I always tease her that I'm leaving and it get's her going. Was this a legitimate way to build comfort? Also this girl is from Japan and new to the USA. If I don't include smiley's she takes things the wrong way. Even then, sarcasm is a hit or miss as she doesn't always understand. What do you think? Sorry about the extended post.

  42. Marshal says:

    Hey gambler,

    I built some comfort with this chick via text message. There's a lot of flirting and playing and I even got her to admit to me non verbally that she likes me. (I shit tested her and she failed)

    Anyhow I can't seem to get her to open up the same way flirt wise when I actually see her. Is there anyway to fix this? She's really sorta reserved and shy in person and text wise, It was like that at first too. She asked me not too long ago "what does Marshal think of me :)?" when I played a game in which I pretended to be someone else. I told her to ask me in person but she never did. (I wanted to kiss close with that)

    Any suggestions? I think if I drag it out any longer I'll slowly start to wind up in the LJBF zone. What do you think?

  43. johnny says:

    where is durams post gone? this is propaganda deleting comments that you dont like. dissapointing man

  44. Thanks Gambler you're a gun.

  45. Yeah thats pretty much right on…Nice work man.
    I would add that humor should definitely play a role…just make sure that you know humor enough to be able to pull it off over a text message, otherwise it just sounds weird or is easily misinterpreted. And the first bullet at the bottom is a must. My general rule for this is if she asks me what I'm doing I never say "nothing". I communicate that I'm just a little busy or that I'm on my way to do something fun (both of which I usually am). If I am just sitting on my ass I'll say something to the effect of reading an interesting article on blank… or listening to blank….Just use your imagination; instead of inserting another boring "copy and paste" text i.e. make em fun.

  46. Joejumbo says:

    hey richard, nice blogs.. im actually learning from it . i have a couple of questions what does it mean when a girl keeps talking about her ex…im pretty clueless..and what do you mean by sexy moves/talk when you meet up? thanks man

  47. seansmc says:

    Yeah this is an awesome post and Gambler thanks for all the advice and effort your putting into this.Respect!

  48. I split with a girl about four weeks ago and I’ve been texting a girl I used to work with. We’ve been flirting loads and she’s been giving me ALL the signals. she asked me to come and ‘house-sit’ with her and I said I would do providing I got my uni work finished (in other words not sounding too desperate – I have other things in my life). I was doing everything right and then I went round, we were joking around, play-fighting and I went to kiss her and she moved her face away. So I was a taken aback and I moved away from her (didn’t act cold, just indifferent). She sat down next to me again really close, let me put my arm around her, even let me feel her breasts a little. And then when the moment couldn’t have been better, I went to kiss her again.. and BAM, she told me ‘no’. WTF? I asked her straight what was wrong and she wouldn’t give me an answer. WE flirted all night and she was laughing and obviously enjoying herself, but she wouldn’t even let me kiss her. I just can’t understand it. And now she’s gone completely cold on me. I’ve not texted her or anything for a few days and she hasn’t texted me (she was texting and calling most days before this) so I’m completely stumped. WHAT’S GOING ON?

  49. Thank you very much for this. I love this post and it helps me a lot.

    P.S. I have sent you an e-mail about publishing your book possibly in HK and I am just wandering if you are interested.

    E-mail back when you are free, would u?

    Thanks for all the effort you put in for us :D

  50. Sheriff says:

    One thing i’ve had a lot of success with recently is blanket texting an amusing observation to a group of number’s i’ve recently closed/girls i haven’t spoken to for a long time; then text again 2 minutes later, apologising for sending them the first message by mistake and asking how they are. For example, one of my favourites is:

    “I was walking down charing cross road earlier and a swear some roadworks were recreating the theme tune from inspector morse.”

    i then send (after giving them a couple of minutes to read it and become a little confused)

    “Sorry Captain/Trouble/Sweetheart etc, that wasn’t meant for you! Hope all is fun and exciting in your neck of the woods, have you got any good new stories for me?”

    The effect is that confusion turns into amusement as they start to understand the reason for the previous text and think about what sort of person i would be sending such a message to in the first place and why?! Do i have some sort of friendshiip based upon an in-joke related to inspector morse?

    Because i’ve eluded to a comical personality quirk, yet framed it so it seems as if i didn’t mean to give such information away, women are naturally intruiged and want to know more.

    normally the response runs along the lines of “HAHA. no worries. How did a road works sound like inspector morse? I’m doing good, had a crazy week at work but thats nothing unusual! how are you doing. X”

    This works especially well for initiating communication with lines that have dried up for some time, because the reason for you initiating communication becomes incidental, caused by the happen-stance of you accidently sending a text to Christina rather than Chris etc. This way you are not conveying any desperation or direct interest. If you can make the first message something which you think the target girl will naturally find funny, i recon you have near 100% return on old numbers.

  51. armand says:

    This is very good and helpful but what about Facebook messages?

    as I realised that some women prefer FB even though we made out on the same night etc. is it because they want to check me out?

    Would text game work with FB?

  52. Loving this post! Full of nuggets! Keep em coming man.

  53. Gambler says:

    Squidge, how she is in texts doesn't matter, it's how she is in person. I'm pretty cold in texts but always good in person with them. It works well so maybe she is doing the same thing. Keeps people guessing as you can see!

  54. Gambler says:

    Sean. I might reply with "have you ever seen a rat being chased by a fox? Your turn." Other things would have been jumping through a hoop, yeah.

  55. Gambler says:

    Andrew, I think her reply is fine. But yeah it's a bit boring. You could reply:
    "Your task this week, think of something really fun we can do this week. You have 3 minutes. Will you get the chance to be Richard's apprentice?".
    Something like this to follow the theme. Her text wasn't too bad, it gave you plenty to work with.

  56. Danilo says:

    Hey great text, some of those mistakes I already did. But for now I´m improving my pesuasion skills. I actually do have a question, how do I get out of friendzone starting from a text msg? I mean, I want to leave the friend zone, but I want to start that with some text msg, should I use C&F?

  57. Gambler says:

    Roofus, texting persistently can sometimes work but you need to leave it a while in between – meaning days not hours! haha
    Otherwise you just seem to desperate!

  58. Gambler says:

    Rambler, can text or call depending on what you prefer. My phone game isn't as good as it could be. AnthonyP has awesome phone game and always calls. Some guys always text. You can call if you like calling and then text if she doesn't pick up.

  59. Gambler says:

    Dan, one of the American PUAs says to wait for the girl to contact you, but that's not likely if she only met you briefly and is a busy high value person with plenty of distractions.

    If it's a day game close you could probably call/text a little earlier, even the next day, just don't make it too high pressure to begin with.

  60. Gambler says:

    Big G
    1. Leave it a while longer. NEVER APOLOGISE. Sounds crazy I know but you don't need to text if you can't make it or if you miss it, it actually works in your favour not to mention it until you get back in touch a few days after. Leave it at least a week and then casually invite her somewhere you are going anywhere.

    2. Your message "what's up!!" is not that easy to answer. I think you can try again in a week with something a little more interesting for a question. "I'm taking a friend out who is visiting from out of town who doesn't like clubs. Whaddya think, Comedy night or theatre?" I dunno, something like that.

    3. Yeah just wait until you meet them before you do the sexy stuff, no benefit to doing it over phone/text I think. I've not done it unless i've been in a very solid position (ie she is already my girlfriend).

  61. Dick,

    great post my man. If there one things that lets me down in my whole game its the text game. Numbers i get hundreds…but my text game is weak

    cheers for the post lots of good stuff to use!

  62. Hey Richard. I've read your book and it's very inspiring. Thank you so much.

    Text & phone game was never really something that I desperately wanted to improve because of my natural "high status" personality that was reflected in all my texts. I never text or called unless I need to, this includes my male friends. Recently I've been texting and calling more girls than I want to and see how far I can push things.

    I was texting one of my female friends after a very long time and we had a great short conversation. The text conversation was about 3-5 texts each and I didn't reply to her last question until the next morning. (I didn't want to end the conversation too soon and neither did I want to go on for too long. Instead, I purposefully delayed it and replied the next morning.) After that she gave no reply.

    Thanks a bunch Rich and I hope to bump in to you some day!

  63. lol, me and my smileys…thought it would be nice…

  64. just as a word of caution – gambler mentioned bulk texts which i THOUGHT were a good idea until i found out that on some phones you can see the other numbers a text was sent to so the girl will know the personalized cute message you sent her was also sent to 5 other numbers… haha oops.

  65. Gambler says:

    Sheriff, nice one. I have done that a few times as a joke, send a romantic message and then say it was meant for someone else. lol.
    You can send you male friends this:

    "Hey baby, sweet dreams. See you soon. XX"

    wait 1 minute and then send

    "Sorry I meant to send that to your mum"


  66. Gambler says:

    Navi, how to long to wait before a call or text…
    If I meet a girl tonight (Friday), who I don't kiss or sleep with, i'd get in touch earliest Sunday and more likely Monday. If I went further with her, i'd be able to call whenever I want and she'd answer. If you are too eager, it can scare a girl away even if she quite liked you. That's also why first text shouldn't try and arrange date.

    One thing I didn't mention in this is that adding them on Facebook can help build comfort. Pretty big deal that one actually, can really help make transition from number to date. (And guys, add me on Facebook if you haven't, link is on the right of the blog!)

  67. Gambler says:

    Elie, not answering texts is caused by either:
    a) not solid enough number to begin with.
    b) text is wrong.

    b relates to what we are talking about here so what kind of texts are you sending that don't get a repsonse?

  68. Gambler says:

    Hey Brian, cute funny guy is fine in the text, you don't need to be seductive/sexual in text messages, it's safer to save that for the date. SOmetimes it works and I'm not talking in all cases but there is a risk to sexual texts:

    She might then think that by meeting you she has tacitly agreed to sex so she might not meet you even if she wants to.

  69. Gambler says:

    Colin, If I arranged a date for a few days in the future I wouldn't text in between. So it's Friday today, if I had one next Tuesday that i'd just arranged i'd text her on Monday at the earliest and ask how her weekend was and assume the date on Tuesday so that she followed through – if there was any doubt. Other option is i'd tell her today that i'd give her a call on Monday night to arrange the details.

  70. Gambler says:

    Jonny, I don't use texts to build comfort, that's a more complicated subject to cover for a short blog post or in these commments. I prefer to do as much of the work as possible at the time of getting the number so that seeing her again is pretty much a formality unless i blow it. A lot of guys mess it up in the follow-up game, but solid closing is another subject. How do you make a number close more solid, etc. I've covered this before. If you would like to share some tips on comfort building via text, i'm sure the guys would find it useful!

  71. Gambler says:

    Hey Joe. I maintained drive and motivation because I was desperate and I felt like it was within my power to change. If your life is not that bad then you won't be motivated enough so you probably need to find people that push you.

  72. James C says:

    Hey Richard,

    Glad you put up the advice for texting haha. I read in your book that the next day a good text would be to put the next evening "hey i know we were drunk last night but i know we'll get along great. we should meet up some time". she ignored that text which was a shame because i thought it would work and i'd kiss closed and everything the night before. i guess i shouldn't have asked her to do something straight out but it was a little ambiguous as to time and place. a few days later i sent a message "hey.. playing hard to get already? how was the rest of your night on saturday?" again to no avail so definitely leaving that one be. Maybe it was just that girl. what do you think?

  73. hahaha

    sounds like someone hijacked her mobile seansmc

  74. Squidge man says:

    Hey, as always great stuff. Just wondering how you would suggest dealing with an ex who texts you? Mine text me last week & we ended up meeting for a drink, the evening was great and there wasn't any tension. But the texts were very cold and quite distant, why do think she was being like that over text but not in person? Cheers!

  75. seansmc says:

    Hey RG,

    Nice Post, some of your tips definitely helped me see where I was going wrong in places.

    I got a text from a girl I was texting for the last while.She sent me a text saying "This is your chance to ask me anything, no matter how weird, crazy or personal?" When I replied she never texted me again! I know I kinda jumped through a loop by answering but if you got that text what do you think would of been a good way to reply, if you would answer, what would you ask?

  76. Andrew says:

    Hey how to you respond to boring texts that don't pose a question?

    I teased a girl (via text) calling her a library geek because we met in the library.

    Her response: "well i guess i am…a bit. Didn't do much work 2day so shimmied home and am now watching the apprentice. Good times!x"

    Not only is this boring but it suggests that I might have hurt her feelings a bit by calling her a geek.

  77. Jordan Mohler says:

    Does the 3 day rule apply to texting?

  78. Roofus says:

    Thats funny. Since a while ago I actually by mistake sent a text to this girl, and it all worked out from there.

    Ive heard a lot of girls use the 2:1 rule. As in they will only respond every two time you contact them.
    There have been times where it seems like i should just squeeze in another text to see if that will garnish a response.
    (several of my female friends actually follow this rule strictly)
    So how should this be worked upon, should it be taken into consideration.

  79. Rambler says:

    Can you talk a bit about calling vs. Texting. I'm talking about for the first time you use the number

  80. Cheers Sheriff I may also try your ideas.

    Big G

  81. Hey i think this is really helpful, i just have a couple of questions..what about just getting a number in the middle of the week somewhere either than a club or party, when would be the right time to text her? Should i wait a couple of days? And if we actually exchange numbers, should i wait for HER to contact ME instead?

  82. Sheriff says:

    Hey Ric,

    give the old accidental-comical text method i just posted a go! i swear by it :)

    hope it works out for you.

  83. Hi Rich,
    Got a 3 situations wondered if you could give some advice

    1)Met this girl weeks back and have spoken on the phone on one or two occassions. Planned to meet with her and her friends but unfortunately couldn't make it, but I did state I may be very late. Sent a text days later apologising, I got no response. Just a few days ago I sent this message "Hay long time my little italian mafia girl, had a few hectic weeks u would never guess, anything interesting planned? – G". Still no response, do you think this situation is dead or could it be resurrected?

    2)Also met someone and kissed on the two dates we went out. Then I went to Brazil for 10 days came back and texted 2-3 weeks later "Hi my Irish stranger long time whats up!!" – No response. Do you think it's b'cos I'm not getting back to them soon enough.

    and finally…
    3) Do you have any ideas on sex talk or dirty talk either by text or phone call.

    Much appreciated
    Thanks Ric

  84. Well cnt say am the best or worst at this bt i only approach when confidence is high….n at tymes i get numbers bt dnt kno how 2 follow up…or hw long i need 2 wait b4 i call..

  85. Hey Rich! Wicked text as always. I want to ask you something that hapens to me always, NOT ANSWERING MESGS! what if a girl didnt answer?

  86. Brian M says:

    Gambler, what's up man?

    Alright I have no trouble at all getting the number, I've got that part of my game covered. When I'm getting IOI's, how do I transition, over text, from the "Cute funny guy" to the potential lover?

  87. Daemon says:

    this awesome, last time sending smiley faces, no matter how excited I am that the HB replied with enthusiasm. . . .but damn the excitement can be hard to contain! And yes guys, Im definatelly gonna use the "You are kidnapped" text. . .sounds fun, and what girl wouldnt wanna be rescued and fed chocolate?!

  88. I've been texting a girl I meet out last Saturday. She agreed to meet up with me thanks to Becksters Wine and DVD evening sequence on Sunday. We've both been busy and have set a date now for Tuesday – it's been a long time to keep it going. I think we are beginning to get a bit feed up with each other now!!

    I've been thinking of only sending a couple of texts between now and then. Any thoughts? To be honest though I'm not even that bothered, I've even been thinking about purposely doing it wrong for the craic as I'm on a bootcamp next week. ;) Plus I've been smiley face freddie, this was because I read that when you made a joke with text you needed to make sure that it was blatent. I joke…a lot.

    Cheers – Colin

  89. Jonny Envee says:

    Hey Richard, what's your experience on texts for building comfort? I've been successful just chatting and flirting with girls via sms and eventually set up dates that way.

  90. Hi Richard,
    this might be a bit unusual because im writing this not especially to get help with girls, but the stage before that.

    Theres been times in my life where Ive had 8,9s 10s on me but thats now over and I beat myself up mentally telling myself that i dont have enough going on in my life.

    I know you came from similar feelings and beat them, and I admire you for that.
    how did you maintain the drive to choose and achieve your goals?

  91. Jordan Mohler says:

    Kevin, you're just mad you don't have good game.

  92. Gambler says:

    Hey Jordan, no difference in my opinion. You've already met her and shown how confident you are. A lot of girls vastly prefer to text. Some situations require a call, but otherwise texting is fine. I call half the time, text half the time.

  93. Jordan Mohler says:

    The rescue text won't fit in my Quick Texts lol.

    On to my question, I thought it was a sign of weakness/no confidence if you ask a girl out through text?

  94. Gambler says:

    Hey Neil. I've forwarded to Ollie, hopefully he can put together one of his great fashion posts.
    This post is interactive (!!) haha. So if you have any questions on text game, i'll be checking and replying.

  95. Neil C says:

    This is all so right! You can even experiment by doing everything wrong and laugh as the girls go off you… who says women aren't predictable?

    Richard, off topic but how about getting Ollie to post some summer fashion advice? I'm particularly interested what's best to wear for day game when it's hot and sunny.

  96. Awesome, the ultimate text game blue print right there. Now I know where I've been going wrong, smiley faces and lol's after every sentence. Cheers

  97. id say im a good writer but in real life im boring.

  98. and im a pretty boring speaker when it comes to communicating with girls.

  99. but the thing is is that im quite a boring guy really. i do mostly everything on my own and dont really like socialising that much unless its some really intellectual topic. and i dont really like partying that much either.

    i tend to do things which are individualistic and dont involve too much socialisation for the sake of it.

  100. thx this is most useful.

    its very easy to become desperate and overglorify girls really.

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