Hey guys, Stephen here, for those of you who don’t know I am a breakdance instructor and the dance floor game expert here at PUATraining, and I’m going to dispel a few myths about getting girls on the dance floor, and give you a general overview of what’s to come in future posts.
1. What if I can’t dance?
After speaking to a huge amount of women about why they dance with particular guys over others, a few common themes that I have found are that girls do not want to dance with an Usher tribute or Michael Jackson wannabe. These guys spend all week on youtube finding music video choreographies to take to the club and ‘show off’, and while it’s entertaining for a short while, nothing will put a guy more into the dancing monkey category than a cheap imitation of Chris Brown with Aqua’s Barbie Girl playing in the background.
My good friend Ashley at PUATraining tells guys that dancing is a way to express yourself; and this is the key to getting a good vibe going between you, your wing and the girls on the dance floor. You will notice that some girls can stay on the dance floor in sky-scraping stiletto’s and dance for hours on end, completely entranced by the music, and they are captivating to watch. This is what you need to achieve, and by expressing your interpretation of the music, you will draw other people towards you, and have them wanting to experience this with you.
Feeling the music does not mean that you are oblivious to your surroundings, we have a purpose and I will cover this in more detail in my next post, but what this ability does do for you, is demonstrate that you not there to stand at the side of the dance floor, uncomfortably shuffling your feet out of rhythm, drink at your chest checking out every short skirt that comes on your radar, (not a good image) but you are there because you love to move, generate a positive vibe, and most importantly, it is a massive indicator that you are there entirely for your self-amusement, not for the validation of others that your moonwalk is up to scratch.
2. The Salsa Solution
There is a big deal within the community that salsa lessons are the key to dance floor domination and to a certain extent, this is true. Salsa lessons teach you to be aware of your body, how to interact with and lead a woman on the dance floor, and how to quickly and smoothly lead towards a close. This is great, and I strongly suggest that you do take a couple of salsa lessons; however, this is in no way the entire picture. Like I said, salsa is great for when you are with a girl, however, inevitably there will be periods where you are not up close and personal with a girl on the dance floor, where your advanced salsa turn patterns are rendered completely useless. And this is where most guys make the mistake of reverting to the ‘wall nettle’ on the side, stinging any girl that comes your way. For me, this is where the real fun begins, this is where you can build some momentum, or capitalise on the momentum that you have gained.
The time between dancing is where you can shine more than most, and when you can emphasise your dance floor prowess over other guys simply by learning a couple of very basic steps that I use, that take 10 minutes to learn, and will automatically improve over time, with no conscious effort making you comfortable and confident during your dance floor downtime, and getting girls to copy your movements, making escalation a whole lot easier, I will get to that on my next post.
3. The Circle of Death
We have all seen the circle of death; a group of girls dancing, tightly huddled circling a handbag on occasion engaged in some ancient clubbing ritual, casting aside any poor soul that attempts to intervene. Now, while most PUA’s, dedicated to the one shot one kiss mentality are intimidated by the mere sight of this, for a true dance floor gamer, it is an opportunity to show the entire club how high value you are, by effortlessly integrating, and disbanding if necessary the newly phrased ‘winners circle’ and while I will get into the techniques I use for this at a later date, you will see that when you go and deploy the simple system of generating your own positive atmosphere and express this on the dance floor, and build this vibe using the steps I will detail, while using your pre-selection stealing salsa spins, the circle of death will often find themselves desperate to dance around you!
So guys, the techniques will be coming, but for now, go out for a couple of nights and make it your mission, maybe not to pull a girl home that night, but just to put aside the male ego for a while and enjoy your experience on the dance floor, as no girl will ever be attracted to a guy that cannot enjoy his own experiences.
Go out, dance however the music takes you, and from there we will channel that energy you will obtain and use it to create a dragnet that will effortlessly capture not one girl, but any girl that you choose to dance with.
Let me know how you get on
Go have fun
Stephen :)
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
I went out clubbing last night for one of the first times ever (don’t you love being young). It’s definitive, I can’t dance. I still went onto the dancefloor and had fun, although know I looked like an idiot (alcohol helped the former and latter I’m sure). Will definitely be keeping an eye on this for some small tips. :)
Hey James, well done for getting on the dance floor. If you can go on to the dance floor with the sole intent of enjoying yourself (regardless of your dancing skills) then you are already one step ahead of alot of guys out there, so congratulations and welcome to the clubbers guild, you’re going to fit right in :)
Very good article Stephen! Appreciate it :)
Great Timing! =) I just had an awesome time the other night, I started at the Museum of Natural Science where they put on a mixer event about 1000 people and maybe 100 dancing. So after some mild mingling I head towards the band and dance area and started getting myself into the music, took me about 2-3 minutes to get myself into it and as I found my flow I glanced behind my shoulder and noticed 2 girls that were totally engaged into the music singing and dancing their hearts out. Instantly I fell in love with these girls calling them out on how different they are from everyone else because of how into it they were. These girls were great! We instantly created the BFF relationship and created some space so we could dance as a group, after several songs I took a break and then end up coming back to the group which now had 2 more girls. Another song starts and we dance again, I felt a little tension between myself and the 2 new girls as they didn’t really understand the relationship I had just created with their 2 girlfriends. So while I’m dancing I point at myself then make a Heart Symbol with my 2 hands and then point at the first 2 girls I met saying OMG I love them, they all start laughing and the tension disappears we become a dancing 5 group and dance our butts off! This place is going to have a Latin Fire night in a few weeks which we’re all looking forward to so it’ll be nice running into a group of girls that I have rapport with that I can just start spinning and leading the second I notice them.
THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST
So that was the first half of the night… I went solo to Club Rich’s in Houston were James Zambiela from the UK was to DJ that night, he was running late and the club was slow when I got there, so I made friends with the first groups I saw before the real music started, once James hit the DJ booth the energy in the place just sky rocketed it was ground pounding perfection! I was in heaven! The music and my body just created a perfect synergistic connection Ahh It was Great! At one point I created a 4 person circle and I was trying to get this guy I thought was a good dancer to dance with this girl in the group but he was just rocking her world busting out crazy fast moves that she just couldn’t keep up with so she just didn’t bust any moves back at him. So I went for her head on and danced at much slower pace approaching her slowly, she dug it and started battling back at the same pace it was great! She was having a blast as was I. Last comment… It doesn’t take anything to be able to groove to the music. I had a group of guys that were dancing near me that were on E ask me if i was Rolling on E, I told them no and that I only took one shot which i didn’t intend on. They ended up hailing me like I was a king. Also sloppy drunk people dancing is obnoxious they don’t understand the concept of space as their motor skills are at a 3 out of 10. Know that it’s very doable to dance all night and have a great time without being drugged or drunk-ed up. Stephen I love the way you put it when you said “Express Your Interpretation of the Music.” As long as the music is alive and you have some endurance you can be on that dance floor expressing your interpretation of it. Great Post, I really look forward to reading what’s to come.
Thanks for the kind words Joppa. Edmund, its great to hear you doing so well and I’m sure that you noticed the extra attention you would have been recieving from other girls when you had the pre-selection from the group you were dancing with, multiplied by the fact that you were there enjoying the moment and feeling the music (as opposed to the guy you noted showing off) I hope you managed to take it to the next level and escalate but you seem to have a great understanding of presence, and creating that important comfortable vibe, nice one!
Great post – One thing guys forget too is what their face actually looks like once they begin dancing. I call it a bad case of ’serial killer face’ (the deadpan unenthused looked) or the other culprit ‘the I’m so sexy look’ (your lips are tight and you usually look like you’ve just bit a lemon and are about to jizz on the floor.
Most guys do this face to show they’re getting into the mood of the song and immersing themselves into the vibe, the only problem is, it looks like you think you’re REALLY awesome and if your dance moves aren’t as awesome as you look like you think they are – well, that’s incongruence. It also shows you’re taking things a little too seriously and in reality the serious dancers are not the ones that pickup, in fact, they usually can intimidate girls who won’t be able to keep up.
It’s the playful guys who score consistently as ‘not taking yourself seriously’ is rare on the dancefloor and will differentiate you through demonstrating the confidence to have fun rather than trying to look ‘really cool and badass’.
Stephen is really on the ball here, great article and top explanation of non-verbal push/pull.
Cheers
T
Good article. I believe that we should just go down to the dance floor and enjoy ourselves if we like the music, even if we do not know how to dance. Just follow the music and move your body. I’m sure girls will be attracted if you are enjoying yourself, and not showing off your dancing skill.