How the #MeToo Backlash is Harming Good Men

The #MeToo backlash is ruining the dating game for normal good men. Feminists don’t understand that honest normal guys don’t want to approach women anymore from fear of being labeled a sexual predator.

Feminist wearing a pink Pussy Power hat.

#MeToo backlash and the damage it’s caused to men

I have a question.

What the fuck are single unattractive men supposed to do?

I’m very happy that I’m not a single guy right now. I’m also very happy that I sold my dating advice company in August 2019.

Why?

Single guys are being demonised given a whole list of “what not to dos”, leaving them practically zero options for meeting women.

I read this article:

Screenshot of Joe article

Shocking right?

It surprised me at first.

I thought that the rise of Tinder and the fall of Pick Up Artists had meant that guys didn’t need as much help as before. Turns out that it’s just the best-looking guys who are doing better than ever while the “bottom 28%” of men are hopelessly stuck.

The top 20% of men on Tinder by looks get to choose from all the women, whilst the bottom 30% get no action

From my experience with men and women, I’ve seen that a man who has very little chance on Tinder (not particularly handsome) can do well in the real world, by using conversation, connection and other skills that anyone can work on… to date women out of his league.

It’s not just marketing, there is a reason why men have been learning seduction techniques since they were popularised – they work.

Recently we have seen a Pick Up Artist go to jail for 2 years for “threatening and abusive behaviour”, and have seen a slew of articles that call any kind of interaction with a female stranger (think a street approach) as harassment. Just like this recent article:

Screenshot of Guardian article

Toxic? Really? (Sigh)

As you can see from this quote taken from the Guardian article “It’s now time for what Cassell refers to as fieldwork, but would more accurately be termed street harassment.” even approaching women is now considered harassment. A perfect example of the #MeToo Backlash.

But, it wasn’t always like that

In the early years of my career, whilst we were doing PUA bootcamps in London, I was invited to participate on family-friendly TV shows such as:

  • Single Mum’s Mansion (BBC)
  • Best Friend’s Rehab (Channel 5)
  • Undercover Princes (BBC)
  • Dragons’ Den (BBC)
  • Big Brother (Channel 4)

As a “pick up artist” or “dating coach” we had positive documentaries made by Channel 4, Canal +, VPRO, and more. The tone of all this coverage was positive, as were shows such as “Keys to the VIP” and “The Pick Up Artist”. My book was also picked up by Harper Collins and Random House and sold 150,000+ copies.

Screenshot of Keys to the VIP show.

This show was really popular in Canada.

So what’s happened in recent years?

My Wikipedia page was deleted, there was a petition to ban my game Super Seducer which also had it’s Kickstarter campaign deleted as “pornography”, and my second book was cancelled from release by Harper Collins. That’s just a few of many of my negative experiences.

Screenshot of change.org petition for Super Seducer.

A male feminist created this

Other PUAs and dating coaches have had it much worse and have had to go into hiding. Is the heat warranted? On the coaches, sometimes. Just look at the videos in a product that Tom Torero (Tom Ralis) was selling until he pulled his entire online presence.

Screenshot of Tom Torero infield videos.

Creepy right?

I understand how this could (and should) be illegal and how filming women without their consent is completely immoral.

So yeah, lots of PUAs and dating coaches did cross the line to make a name for themselves, but the students and the good-hearted dating coaches don’t deserve to get tarred with the same brush.

The thing is, our customers were never Pick Up Artists

We as dating coaches took on the moniker because it was the term popularised by Neil Strauss’s book, and it was what guys searched for when they wanted dating advice. The guys who came to us were just regular guys who wanted better success with women, and overwhelmingly were shy introverted guys who wanted a girlfriend.

Poor guys who needed to catch a break.

I sold my company, and all of our dating advice products, so I can’t make money from these guys anymore. I have no incentive to lie. When I say that our customers were generally very good guys, and definitely better than a random sample of men, I mean it.

We used to have female coaches and lots of women stopped by our “bootcamps”. They always found the guys “sweet”. In fact being too “sweet” was usually their problem…very far from being evil street harassing predators, right?

I’d take my girlfriends to the event, invite my female friends to be used as “practice dates” with these guys, and would never have done all that if I were exposing them to a room full of predators.

Stop demonising men, and tell them what they CAN do

The fall of real journalism and rise of click-bait has meant that there is no grey, only black and white. Approaching women therefore is purely bad, you shouldn’t do it. All the coaches, all the students, anyone interested in approaching women – evil.

Hmmm, so what to do? If you are in that 28% of men… how about the workplace?

Screenshot of Huffington Post article on McDonalds CEO.

How strange

Well, metoo saw to that.

Remember when men like Bill Gates and Barack Obama could happily hook up with people they work with?

Screenshot of famous couples who met in the workplace.

A natural way for relationships to start

Well not now.

So you can’t meet women in your sleep, you can’t at work, you can’t on Tinder unless you are in the top 20% of looks… so what are you left with?

Here’s what you can and should do

The only way is to ignore all this noise and think about it logically:

  • You CAN approach a woman in the street, just be respectful, don’t crowd her, and if she say she has to go or doesn’t want to talk, let her go.
  • You CAN be generally sociable with everyone and also talk to women, applying the same rule, you can talk to women in pretty much any public place.
  • Expand your social circle by doing more activities and meeting more strangers. Maybe you’ll get an introduction, or have opportunities in your social circle.

The one silver-lining is that less men are approaching. In the past they were stopped by approach anxiety, not wanting to bother her, thinking she probably has a boyfriend, feat of failure… now so many men have given up that you just won’t have much competition.

Finally a word from my wife on the #metoo backlash:

“These journalists don’t speak for all women. It’s fine to approach women in the street, if we don’t want to talk to a guy we’ll just keep walking.”

Simple, right?

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