Facebook vs Phone Number: The Great Debate… Which Is Better?


The big debate is on son!

Ok so not so much a “great debate” but more of a popular topic of discussion these days I’m seeing in the community. Some guys think that Facebook will help you seal the deal, whilst others think it’s a waste of time because you’ve got more chance of her never contacting you again if you don’t get the number in advance.

Before we get into techniques, I want to give you list of pros and cons for each.

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Pros for having Facebook

  • Social proof – This is the biggest factor for online game. It’s the most important thing in all areas of game, but online especially. Facebook allows you to build a picture of the type of person you are by using their time line feature, this means you can post cool photos, videos and funny/entertaining messages that others can see. In their head you will look like a rock star.
  • Less pressure – Girls really don’t like giving out their phone number to guys they just met. You’ll hear things like “I don’t give my number to strangers” or “We’ve only just met, I can’t give you my number”. Standard sh*t tests, but still annoying. Facebook is a given with every single girl, because they have the option to perv over your profile before accepting your friend request or not.
  • Easier to get than a number – A number requires a lot more work in my eyes. It’s a much bigger barrier to entry than Facebook is. Because we are social creatures, it feels more natural to check a guy out before befriending him… rather than just handing your number out. Look at it from a girls perspective.

Cons of Facebook

  • You NEED social proof – Without social proof, you’re dead. You won’t hear from the girl again. I’ve seen this come up time and time again with guys. They meet a girl, add them on Facebook and then… radio silence. Nadda. No social proof just validates her first impressions of you when you met, otherwise you would have gotten her number or even slept with her that night.
  • She has the option to accept a friend request – She is in full control of this one and it’s her choice whether to accept the friend request or not. With a number, she’s going to answer it 99% of the time, regardless of if she recognises the number or not.
  • You have to be on your game with your profile – It’s pretty hard to keep your profile looking good. You constantly need to be out partying, attending VIP events, having your picture taken with celebs, not being tagged in crappy photos etc. It takes serious work for a good few months.
  • She may not give you her number – Even though you have her as a friend on Facebook, it doesn’t mean that you will get her number. She still has the choice of whether to give it to you or not. Yet another barrier to overcome.

Pros of getting her number

  • You can text right away – Texting directly after meeting up (and not following some stupid two day rule) will increase your success rate of her responding and actually knowing who you are.
  • It’s easy to call and build rapport – Texting can be great if you are witty and funny, but calling is certainly the more powerful of the two. You have the option to build rapport, tease her, make her laugh and build solid trust on the phone, texting cannot do this. Neither can Facebook, so calling has a huge advantage over Facebook.

Cons of getting her number

  • It may be a flake – There’s a very good chance that the number you just got is a flake. Call it I dare you! That’s why I always advise to call first, if you like the girl. If it’s a throwaway, then texting is fine. But girls will give to fake numbers, again this is down to trust. Call her phone on the spot to make sure it’s real.
  • Your text game could be week – As I already mentioned, you could have very poor text game, so you have nothing to save you if your texting sucks balls.
  • She is in full control – She can text back or not text back, it’s totally up to her. The more you text, the more needy you look, which leads to frustration and you feeling like a failure.
  • It’s hard to convert from text to date – Arranging a date through texting can be very easy, but her flaking at the last minute or even standing you up is a real possibility.

What is better then?

So taking all the pros and cons for both methods, what would you choose? If a girl is asking for your Facebook instead of giving you her number it means that she doesn’t fully trust you yet. This could be down to your level of game or she could just be a very untrustworthy girl.

The simple answer to “I’ll give you my Facebook” if you do want her number is “sorry, I don’t use Facebook”. She will obviously be like “Huh? You don’t use Facebook??”. But it’s very easy to just brush it off by saying something funny like “Yeah, too many girls stalking me on there”.

My advice would be to use Facebook over a number. Don’t get me wrong, the number can be great if you have strong text game or rapport skills, but it goes wrong for so many guys. I’d stick with building up your social proof on Facebook. Then the work is done for you, girls will pursue you.

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