Do you struggle when it comes to finding things to talk about with girls? There are so many topics out there, but how do you know what to say and when to say it?
How do you keep the conversation flowing and open doors to an ongoing, fun, relaxed relationship?
You should be looking to treat girls like you treat your friends, and to remember that you are dealing with a real person - so don't underestimate the value of funny stories, small talk, and deeper discussions, as well as the light conversations you may enjoy together.
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Things to Talk About With a Girl
There are so many interesting topics you can talk to girls about, and many of these will trigger meaningful conversations. Let's check out the top conversation topics you can use when you're starting to chat with a woman.
1) Television
Television is a great, easy place to start. Simply ask about her favorite TV show!
Most girls enjoy watching TV and talking about their favorite shows is a great way to learn more about them and find out whether you have anything in common.
Even if you haven't seen the show in question, try to express interest in the things she's interested in, and demonstrate that you care about her thoughts on this subject. If you like similar shows, this is a fantastic way to start establishing a rapport.
You can also talk to her about your favorite show. However, you should make sure you don't get carried away and talk for too long.
2) Her Family
Family is another good conversation starter in most cases. You could cover:
Where she grew up
Who her parents are
What her parents do
Whether she has any siblings
Whether she has any cousins or other family members she's particularly close to
Whether her family does big gatherings for holidays
Feel free to share a bit about yourself at the same time, so she's learning about you too. This will keep the conversation flowing and make sure you're both contributing to it.
If she has a sibling or another family member that she spends a lot of time with, ask her more about them. What do they do together? What makes that person great to spend time with?
3) Hobbies
Hobbies are a great conversation starter! Who doesn't want to talk about fun things? You can ask about things like:
Crafts
Sports
Reading
Gaming
Blogging
Gardening
Decorating
Camping
Doing puzzles
There are other great hobbies you might want to ask about too, and some of the best conversations will revolve around what the girl likes to do in her free time.
You'll learn about the personality traits that matter to her, and you'll be able to see whether there's any overlap in the activities you like. You may find that you have hobbies in common.
If so, this should naturally lead to more discussion, hopefully about topics you both enjoy!
4) Travel
Can you find out her dream destination from your conversation? This will tell you a lot about her. Ask things like:
Where would she love to go?
What places would she visit if she had the time and money?
Where has she already been?
What country is her favorite ad why?
Most people underestimate the value of questions like this, but talking about travel is great fun for many individuals. If you enjoy traveling yourself, share details about where you've been and what you did while you were there.
This is a great way to make a connection, and ensure you both have plenty to talk about.
5) Ethics
Although sometimes contentious, conversations about ethics can be another fun way to learn a few things about the woman you're talking to. Most women will happily talk about their morals and opinions.
Indeed, many are very interested in expressing themselves on these subjects. They will respond well to a guy who shows he's open to this sort of discussion.
This is a great conversation topic if you want a more in-depth insight into the woman you're talking to. You can get into some very deep conversations if you start talking about morality, and this is a great way to find out more about the other person.
You can also see if your personalities mesh well by discussing things that you both think are important. If you want to come prepared, why not brush up on some feminist ethics theories in advance?
6) Future Plans
Some people steer clear of this question because they feel it's too personal, but there's nothing wrong with talking in a casual way about future plans.
You might ask the girl:
Where she sees herself in ten years
What her ideal place to live would be
What she wants to do with her career
What items are on her bucket list
Whether she has any important life goals that she wants to complete
You may want to avoid deeper questions about marriage or children in your first conversation with a girl, but these could come later. Get a sense of where she wants to go in life. Talk about your own plans as well so that she learns about you.
7) Conspiracy Theories
This is potentially a more dangerous topic to get onto, but you can learn a lot about the girl by asking her about any conspiracy theories she's interested in. This doesn't have to be political. Many people have quirky beliefs.
Although conspiracy theories have a bad name, there are lots of harmless and interesting ones out there. Some may interest you. They might open opportunities to talk more on a subject later, once you've had time to do some research.
Finding out what she believes can give you better insight into a girl, and gives her an opportunity to talk about ideas that interest her. Whether her thoughts relate to current affairs or something from decades ago, this can definitely be an interesting area to discuss.
8) Pets and Animals
What about pets? Is she a cat person? A dog person? Does she have a guinea pig or a snake she loves? Furry friends are one of the best ways to get to know a girl, because who doesn't love talking about their pet?
You can ask about pets she has had in the past, or pets she'd love to get in the future. People keep all sorts of unique animals, so this can be a great opportunity to learn more about her.
Even if she doesn't have a pet, she's likely to have a favorite animal. This is a great way to find out more about her without asking deeply personal questions. For a first date or early conversation, it can be one of the best topics to cover.
9) Pet Peeves
Pet peeves can also be a great thing to bond over. Find out about her biggest turn off. Learn what really irritates her.
It's surprising how talking about something we dislike can help us find common ground and make it easier to understand each other. You don't want to spend the whole conversation on negative topics, but sometimes, learning about the things the other person hates makes talking so much easier.
Again, don't be afraid to talk about the things you hate, too. This conversation topic will flow more smoothly if you're both contributing. See if there is any overlap in the things you dislike. This can be an excellent way to demonstrate compatibility to her.
10) Childhood Memories
Favorite childhood memories can be another fantastic area to talk about with a girl. If you want to understand more about her, asking about her past is a great idea. It will help you to understand what's important to her and what she values.
If you want to make this more specific, you could ask what the funniest thing that ever happened to her during her childhood was. Watch her body language to make sure she is enjoying the conversation, and be prepared to swap to another topic if you think she isn't.
Not every woman will want to talk about their childhood, but many will love this subject and will tell you lots of interesting stories from their past.
11) Work
Work is one of the easiest topics to talk about with a girl. You can learn a lot about her by listening to her talk about what she does.
Of course, this is a broad question and it won't always lead to a very interesting conversation. If the girl doesn't enjoy her job much, she may not be interested in talking about it.
However, talking about work can be a great way to demonstrate that you are interested in her life. It's also a neutral topic that's ideal for a first or second date. Give it a try, and find something else if you hit a dead end.
You can also ask what her dream job would be - which can give you even more insight into her character.
12) Personal Struggles
Not everybody wants to talk about personal struggles, but it's still worth considering this topic. A conversation with a girl can go much deeper if you show you are empathetic and willing to offer support and sympathy.
Questions include things like:
What's making your life more challenging right now?
Are you finding work a challenge?
Is anyone in your life being difficult?
When you feel like you're getting along well, personal difficulties are great things to talk about. It offers you both a chance to engage on a more intimate level, as you might with any of your other friends.
It's important to pay attention to the girl's cues here, though. If she's getting uncomfortable and would rather move on, find other topics to talk about. You want to give her an opening, but don't force the issue.
13) Music
Music is something that almost everybody can bond over. Ask things like:
Who is your favorite band?
What was the last concert you went to?
What's your top music genre?
Which artists do you admire?
If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
Do you have a favorite piece of music?
How do you use music to make your life better?
Is there any music that you hate?
Which genre is your least favorite?
Almost everybody connects to music on an emotional level, so this is one of the best things to talk about. Find out what she loves to listen to.
If you find a lot of overlap in your tastes, consider making a collaborative playlist so you can share good music with each other.
14) Education
Asking about education is another easy topic for most people. Find out things like:
Where did she go to school?
What were her top subjects?
Did she have any particularly great teachers?
What inspired her about her school?
Which teachers did she hate?
What was her worst subject and why?
If she could learn one skill, what would it be?
Would she have chosen a different career course if she'd had a different education?
You can also ask about her personal goals when it comes to education, especially if she's still studying. What excites her about learning?
If you share favorite subjects, you'll be able to talk in more detail about the intricacies. Don't panic if you don't, though. Just asking about the things she loves can be enough to keep the conversation moving.
15) Movies
Asking about a girl's favorite movie is another great way to get to know her in a short time period. A conversation about movies tends to flow easily, because you can talk about what you did and didn't like about the film.
If you enjoy the same sorts of movies, this can lead naturally into a discussion about movies you might like to see together. Don't be afraid to tell the girl what your favorite movies are too, even if you don't think she will enjoy them.
If there's something coming up that you'd like to see, ask her if she would enjoy seeing it with you.
Films are a fantastic way to bond. They're very neutral, and one of the easiest topics to talk about.
16) Dreams And Goals
Finding out about a girl's dreams is a great way to build on your relationship with her. It can help her to feel safe with you, and demonstrate that you are interested in her well-being. Ask her things like:
If you could be anything, what would you be?
What is the most important thing you want to do with your life?
What do you want to achieve?
If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
What would you change about the world if you could?
What do you want people to remember you for when you're gone?
What's your biggest achievement in life so far?
These questions are quite personal, so make sure you're prepared to share things about your life dreams too.
17) Her ideal date night
If you want a fun and flirty topic, try this one! What's her top date night? This should cover things like:
Her favorite restaurants
Her favorite activities
Her food preferences
Whether she prefers to stay in or go out
What makes her feel appreciated
What kind of atmosphere she enjoys
One of the great things about this conversation topic is that you can use this information to create the perfect future date.
Get a few tips about what she loves, and use this to create a magical experience the next time you see her. This also demonstrates that you're a great listener!
18) Naughty Stories
If you want the conversation to turn a little more flirty, you might want to consider swapping some naughty stories with her. This is usually done best when you know the girl reasonably well, so you can judge whether she'll welcome this approach.
It's not usually a good topic for your first interaction, but it's an effective way to maintain the discussion as you get to know each other a little better.
Naughty stories might involve talking about past relationships, or discussing things you've done together. Try to approach this subject with confidence, or there's a risk that it will fall flat.
You should also make sure the girl is comfortable throughout the conversation, and swap topics if she seems uneasy.
19) Love
Love is such a key part of life, it's definitely something that should be on your list of topics to cover. You might not want to get into it straight away, but don't leave it out of your conversation entirely.
Ask the girl what she thinks of love. Discuss how love has shaped her life. Listen to what it means to her. Questions you might ask include:
How important has love been in your life?
What makes you feel loved?
What makes you feel unloved?
How do you demonstrate love?
What are you looking for in a partner?
20) Vacation Bucket List
We briefly touched on this earlier, but a vacation bucket list can be a great thing to make together.
If you want a written record of this, consider having text conversations where you both add your top destinations and activities to the list.
One of the nicest things about this topic is that it creates a list of things for you to do together. This forms a sense of connection, and will demonstrate to the girl that you're interested in her desires.
Bucket lists are great fun. They are exciting and engaging, and pretty much everybody loves making them - so go for it!
21) The Food/Drinks
Food and drink are really important parts of everyday life, so this is another excellent topic to get onto. Great questions include:
What's your favorite food?
What's your favorite drink?
What do you like to cook?
Do you enjoy baking?
What kind of cuisine do you enjoy?
Do you enjoy spicy food?
What foods do you hate?
Are you allergic to anything?
Again, you should be filling the conversation out with answers of your own. If you just ask questions, you may make the girl feel self-conscious. Make sure you're doing your share of the talking!
22) Drugs and Alcohol
This topic won't be for everybody. However, if you want to make the conversation interesting and learn more about the woman, this is a good one to cover. It will give you some insight into her personality, and help you judge whether you might be a good match.
Find out how she feels about drugs and alcohol. Ask whether she uses any herself, and how often she drinks. Reciprocate with the same information.
Remember that being honest is important. This isn't a topic where you want to stretch the truth and later find out that causes problems.
23) Guilty Pleasures
You can learn a lot about another person by listening to their guilty pleasures. This is also a great topic because it shows the woman that you recognize she's human, and you're interested in that.
Ask her what her guilty pleasures are, and compare them with your own. These topics often have a bit of a stigma around them, so getting them out in the open is a great idea. It will help you get to know each other better.
You might want to ask about:
Films
Activities
TV shows
Books
Food combinations
Smoking
These pleasures are often things you learn about later, so asking upfront can be a good idea!
24) Life and the Universe
Some women really enjoy the big questions, and want to skip over the idle chatter about daily routine. For these girls, try to think of the big, meaningful questions.
Some great options include:
What would you change about your life if you could?
What do you wish you had done more of in the past?
Do you think crying shows weakness?
What would you do if you could be free of judgment?
Why do you think we are here?
What does joy look like?
Does war have any value?
There are many other questions, and you can glean some key takeaways about what's important if you ask these.
Things you should NEVER talk about with a girl (unless you want to kill attraction)
Of course, there are a few subjects you want to be careful about! Some areas can be very divisive, and talking about them too early can ruin a relationship.
We're going to check out the topics that you should definitely save for a time when you know each other well.
1) Politics
Politics are a hot button for so many people! You don't want to get into this area until you've got a strong enough relationship to withstand a few arguments.
A lot of people make the mistake of expecting others to be politically aligned with them, and this is dangerous. If you assume that the woman you're talking to shares your political views, it's very easy to start an argument.
You can quickly destroy any interest a woman has in you by introducing politics into your conversations too early. It's certainly an important topic to cover, but wait until you know each other better.
2) Cultural Issues
Culture is another contentious subject that many people disagree about. Cultural issues can be emotional and sometimes painful for individuals. You might feel strongly about it, but don't make it a go-to topic.
You should avoid bringing culture into early conversations with a woman. Even if you think you know how she will feel about it, you may misstep. Disagreeing on something this fundamental can make a woman feel like you are incompatible.
Avoid this risk by introducing culture later, and in a sensitive manner. This should prevent it from ruining the relationship.
3) Religion
Some people feel that they need to introduce religion straight away. Finding out whether your partner is on the same page in terms of beliefs can be key.
However, you run some serious risks here. If the woman does not share your religious views, you may immediately destroy her interest in you. You may also unintentionally indicate that you are not respectful of her views.
Religion is another important subject, but it's so contentious that you should wait until you know the other person well before you bring it up. Find other ways to get to know them first, and leave deeply personal beliefs out of your early interactions.
Conclusion
Talking to a woman isn't rocket science. Whether you're on a first date in a coffee shop or on a third date at a movie theater, there's plenty you can say. Make it your goal to learn about her, and keep the conversation as fun as possible. You want her to enjoy herself.
Demonstrate your interest by asking about the things she values and learning about her favorite things. Find out what she thinks of the deeper questions. Make sure you steer clear of contentious issues like religion, culture, and politics, or you may lose her interest entirely!
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