How to Be a Man in a Relationship

Modern masculinity is in a bit of a freefall right now.

Men of all ages – but particularly young men – are told all the time that there are “new rules” to being a man in a relationship that they need to follow.

Many of these “rules” feel really unintuitive, backwards, and go against the grain of the hardwiring of the male brain.


Well, if you’d like to be liberated from all that confusion and frustration – and embrace being a man, particularly when it comes to relationships – you’re going to want to pay close attention to everything we highlight below.

Let’s jump right into it.

How to Be a Man in a Relationship

A Man Leads

The cornerstone of being a man in a relationship, the building block of absolutely everything else, is understanding that you are in the leadership position.

Everything – and we mean absolutely EVERYTHING – about the way you behave in all of your relationships (romantic or otherwise) depends entirely upon whether or not you embrace your role as a leader or shirk these responsibilities.

Do not wait for someone else to solve problems. Do not wait for someone else to blaze the path forward.

Embrace being the leader, take your partners and, and steer the relationship from here on out.

A Man is Decisive

A real man is also highly decisive in a relationship.

There’s nothing more repulsive to a woman than a man that is as limp as a wet dishrag, completely unmoored, and incapable of making any decisions whatsoever.

This isn’t to suggest that you ignore her input or that you disregard her feelings, interests, goals, or passions.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

This isn’t to suggest that you control the situation from top to bottom, either.

Instead you want to make decisions quickly instead of waffling back and forth, hoping that she is going to make the decision for you. If you’re reluctant to make decisions you give off a real insecure kind of vibe, a vibe most women pick up on as fear and even cowardice.

That’s not the kind of position a real man should ever find themselves in.

A Man Takes Responsibility

A real man recognizes that they aren’t going to bat 1.000 all the time, that they are going to drop the ball, that they are going to fumble on the goal line, and that they are going to make mistakes along the way.

Particularly if they fully embrace the role of being a leader and are decisive.

It’s important to take full responsibility for this leadership position and for the decisions that are being made.

Acknowledge mistakes, apologize when necessary, learn from those mistakes, and then move forward with a commitment not just to make things right this time but to refuse to repeat these mistakes over and over again.

A man is not lessened by recognizing that mistakes will be made in relationships. It shows strength to be humble in the face of these kinds of situations, and it shows integrity and courage to admit these faults, these issues, and then remedy them ASAP.

A Man is Emotionally Solid

To be perfectly blunt, life is a rough and rocky road for the overwhelming majority of people out there.

It isn’t a picnic 100% of the time.

There are going to be ups and downs, highs and lows. The same can be said of every relationship.

Relationships are roller coasters – but it’s the responsibility of a real man to embrace this ride and to keep their emotions as steady as possible no matter what.

You want to be the rock that she can turn to, the solid foundation that keeps everything moving even in the face of some pretty tough times.

If you start to waffle, if you start to fold, or if you just don’t have the emotional strength and integrity necessary to keep things together when times are rough she is going to look elsewhere.

Nothing screams weakness quite like a knock knee, jelly spine guy that just can’t stand the pressure of day-to-day life – let alone situations where they are inevitably looked to as a solid, stabilizing force.

If you can’t be relied on when things are spiraling out of control the chances are pretty good you’re not going to be respected by the woman in your relationship (or most anyone else, really).

Nobody wants to be with a wimp or a coward.

A Man is Respectful and Commands Respect

If there’s one thing that is a real poison pill for relationships – romantic, friendship, and even business relationships – it’s a lack of respect in a couple of different ways.

For one thing, a man needs to be a person worthy of respect if they are going to expect anyone in a relationship with them to actually respect them.

Anyone that allows themselves to be disrespected, to be walked all over, or that rewards bad behavior is going to find that they only invite that kind of headache are regular basis.

Secondly, a man needs to be respectful to those that he is in relationships with.

It’s important to be smart about arguments, disagreements, and fights. You don’t want to say things that you will inevitably regret – things that may be said in the heat of the moment but can do long-term damage to a relationship as soon they telegraph disrespect.

Give respect (when it is earned) and command respect and you’ll find being a real man in a relationship becomes a whole lot easier.

A Man Makes Sure His Partner Feels Like a Real Woman

Men have incredible masculine energy that needs to be harnessed, fully embraced, and then funneled into a relationship if a woman is going to feel completely feminine in the relationship, too.

You don’t necessarily have to be a consistent, 100% of the time masculine man – over-the-top, overbearing, or overly aggressive – but you do have to be a “safe place” for the woman you’re in a relationship with to feel relaxed enough to be completely feminine.

The last thing you want to do is get comfortable enough in a relationship that you start treating the woman you are dating like one of the guys, for example.

That’s going to throw the energy of the relationship all over the place, it’s going to neuter her femininity in a big way, and all of a sudden you’re going to find the relationship gets really rocky and uneven.

Be the man that she expects you to be so that she can become the type of woman that she wants to be, too.

A Man is All In – Fully Committed

Boys like to jump around from one relationship to another, never really committing to anything and never really seeing anything through.

They like the thrill of the chase, the feel of building something new, but then get burnt out pretty quickly when all of the endorphins and excitement hormones wear off when the honeymoon period ends.

A man, on the other hand, is all in and fully committed.

They recognize that the early stages of a relationship are always going to be tempted by rose-colored glasses, and they have a lot of fun during that block of time, too.

At the same time, they recognize that the easy relationship they get started with is going to face trials and tribulations sooner rather than later.

They recognize that there’s going to be real work that needs to be put in to keep a great relationship rolling, and sometimes that means sacrifice and sometimes that means pushing through some really tough conversations and really tough experiences.

Above all else, a real man is really committed to a relationship that they have thrown themselves into.

They aren’t going to cut bait and run the first time things get a little tough.

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