How To Break Up With A Girl Quickly And Painlessly [+ Mistakes Most Men Make]

So you want to break up with a girl, but don’t know how to do it exactly? No worries. I’ve been there before (been the dumper and dumpee) and I know precisely how to do it.

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Syda Productions/Shutter

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In this short guide I’m going to give you the absolute best way to breakup with your girl.

And make it as painless for you and her as possible so you can get back to living a normal life again.

Well, actually there are two ways… but more on that later.

Before we get into the nitty gritty of how to do it, you first need to understand WHY you want to break up with her and make sure it really is the right decision.

Now I know you might be thinking “Does it matter? I don’t love her anymore” or “I just don’t want to be with her”.

There’s a reason I ask…

I’ve seen countless guys over the years get into a relationship with a girl, split up with her again, then get back together with her again… and you know what?

It’s exhausting!

Not only for them but for everyone who’s close to them also.

So I need you to answer these three questions honestly, before you look at the breakup guide in this post, understood?

Good. Ok, here we go…

Question 1: Do you actually want to be in a relationship?

Believe it or not, some guys actually fall into a relationship out of pure laziness.

They like the regular sex, maybe she cleans the house or makes a men burrito, you like her family, she’s cool with your friends, she lives really close by, blah blah whatever the reason.

If this is you, then this a bad place to be.

Not only will you never get into a relationship because you won the girl who you liked the most, but you’ll just be plodding through life settling. F**k that.

Question 2: What do you really want out of life?

Take a long hard think about what it is you really want out of life, because a relationship can seriously put a strain on everything you’d like to achieve.

The freedom you have when you’re single and without kids is priceless.

So make sure you have accomplished everything you wanted to do and you’re financially secure.

Question 3: Can you see a future with this girl?

This is the biggest question.

When you look at your girlfriend, can you honestly see yourself marrying her? Having children with her? Growing old with her?

If it’s an “abs-f**king-lutley”, then I applaud you for finding a keeper.

But… if it’s a “Hell no” then you need to get out of the relationship immediately, it’s just wasting everyone’s time.

Ok, so now we have those questions covered, let’s move onto the good stuff.

There are two ways in which you can break up with your girlfriend.

Both get the desired outcome, however couldn’t be more different in terms of time.

Question 3: Are you in the same country as her?

If you’re in a LTR (Long Distance Relationship) you’re in for a hard ride.

Let me be straight with you… long distance relationships don’t work and they never will, unless there is something that’s pulling you both together. No I’m not referring to love. Something stronger… children!

Let me explain:

Method #1: This route means you are going to man up and do the right thing. You sit your girlfriend down, follow the steps I lay out and boom… you’re single.

Method #2: On the other hand, this route means you will be playing the waiting game, becoming a less attractive man so that she ends up dumping you.

Again, they both work, it just depends on what path you want to take.

Either way, here’s how to do them both:

Method #1: How to break up with your girlfriend like a real man

When I say “real” man, what I’m referring to is the type of man that takes full control of his life and knows exactly what he wants.

He doesn’t lie or mislead his girlfriend, he just tells her the truth and accepts the consequences.

What type of girl is she?

If she’s a clingy, jealous, spiteful type of girl, then you need to stand your ground and be prepared for a hissy fit.

Don’t veer off from the goal… you’re there to break up with her. If she cries, screams, throws a tantrum or threatens you. Don’t react, just do what you need to do and go.

Be honest with her (but not TOO honest)

Although I do advocate telling the truth and being honest with why you’re breaking up with her. There are some things you maybe shouldn’t say.

Like for example, if she’s put on 40lbs and you don’t like fat girls. Probably best to say that you’re not as attracted to her as you once were, instead of “You’re too fat now”.

Don’t linger, get to the point

Being vague will only make her more frustrated and anxious. Tell her from the moment you sit down, “I want to break up with you”, then explain your reasons why.

It’s much easier to drop the bad news first, than it is saying something like “Listen… erm… I really…. Errr… like you, but” Ugh, nobody wants that drawn out breakup.

Cut all ties (at least for the first year)

Once the deed is done, you need to cut all ties with the girl. I’m not saying you should be brutal and ignore her, but just be very distant.

Don’t respond to any messages she sends and if needs must, then block her. It really depends on the type of girl you’re dealing with.

Break up in person (never on the phone)

Breaking up with a girl by text or on the phone is just a pussy move in my opinion. ALWAYS breakup in person, that way you can hug, cry, let her know that it’s really over and move on.

Do the breakup privately, not in public

What are you thinking by breaking up with a girl in a bar? Moron.

Always do it privately, her house would be good so you can leave straight after. Try to avoid your place I think.

Don’t rub her face in it after the breakup

Leave social media and your mutual friends alone for a while after the split. This will just aggravate her more if she sees you partying on a boat with Dan Bilzerian.

I understand that you’ve got to live your life, so just do it a few months after. Not immediately after. Cool?

Method #2: How to have your girlfriend break up with you like a boss

Here we have the second option. This is for the type of guy that is patient and doesn’t really like the idea of breaking things off because it’s just too much stress.

If you do this one right, she might get super pissed off and break up with you quicker than you might think. All depends on how invested you are in being unattractive.

She needs to lose interest first

For this method to work, SHE needs to be the one to lose interest in you first. Once she doesn’t feel attraction for you anymore, that’s when she will begin to question the relationship.

At first it will be a small seed of doubt, then her loony slut dropping friends will weigh in on the situation saying things like “he sounds like a loser to me, ditch him”.

After weeks of thinking and trying to change you, she will finally give up.

Take less care of yourself

Cancel your gym membership right now, you will not be needing that thing. Your body needs to be below average at best.

Have you done your laundry this week? Meh, who cares. Let her see that you couldn’t care less about being clean.

Accidentally on purpose forget your deodorant. Don’t shave… pick your teeth at dinner… basically, BE DISGUSTING.

Be less interested in everything

When she calls you at work to ask whether you want to watch a movie tonight because it’s a Friday and that’s what you do every damn Friday.

What are you going to say?

Erm, I don’t really care…

That will be your new favourite line when she asks if you want to do something. It shows that you lack ambition and don’t value life. Everything women hate… muwahahahahahaha.

Be terrible in bed

Those tricks you learned from us about giving her multiple squirting orgasms? Oh yeah, forget those.

Flatly refuse to go down on her. Say that you don’t actually like doing it, so won’t.

Be incredibly selfish in the sack. As soon as you bust a nut, rollover and get back to playing Candy Crush.

It’s about your pleasure, not hers anymore.

Leave a large gap in between texting

When she texts you for the umpteenth time in one day… just leave it.

Learn to not respond to her texts for hours, maybe even not at all. Just tell her (if she asks) that you forgot.

This will frustrate her, even make her mad. But hey, it’s not your fault, she needs to accept your selfish ways man.

Be less decisive

Oh man this is a good one.

What do women hate in weak men the most?

Yep, indecisiveness. It’s like poison to them.

The next time she asks you what you want to do on the weekend because she isn’t busy. You say… “I dunno, what do you want to do”.

Repeat that line and use it A LOT my friend. She will despise you for it.

You know that thing she hates about you? Do that more

There’s going to be at least one thing that you do, which makes her blood boil.

She’s been trying to get you to stop it for months, even years. It’s now time to bring it back with a vengeance.

I don’t care what it is… cutting your toenails on the bed, sounding like a caveman when you chew, finishing your food before her… whatever it is, do it as much as you can.

5 things most men do wrong when dumping a girl

Ok, so you now have two options you can take to dump your girl, let’s go over some essentials for what you should never do.

These are the common mistakes that guys make when they try to split up with the misses.

1. Drunken rage

One of the worst ways to initiate a breakup is with the use of alcohol. Never drink when you’re thinking about dumping a girl, it will only fuel rage and could turn nasty.

Especially if it’s in a public place, that will make the whole situation 10x worse.

2. Text dumping

Come on seriously? You’re going to split up from a girl by text? That’s just unbelievable.

If you do decide to do this, it’s because of two reasons:

  • You’re scared of her
  • You’re a selfish prick

Grab your balls and do the right thing. See her face to face, then dump her ass.

NOTE: When you’re single again and you start to text new girls. Make sure you watch this video, it will help your text game massively.

3. Making up a lie

Lying will eventually turn against you in the end and just kinda makes you look like a dick really.

I know that in some situations you can’t be 100% truthful, but try to.

If you’re not attracted to her anymore, tell her. If she does things that make you uncomfortable which she won’t change, tell her. It’s better to be honest than tell lies, trust me.

4. The cliche king

There’s nothing more gringe-worthy than watching someone use a bunch of cliches in their breakup spiel. Don’t do it!

I heard a friend once say to me, that he broke up with a girl by writing her a poem and reading it out to her in person.

Oh… my… god, can you imagine how embarrassing that must have been?

5. Party pooper

There’s never a right time to break things off, right?

Wrong. Of course there is.

It’s better to break up at your place on a normal Thursday night, than it is on her birthday or at her nan’s funeral.

Don’t be a tool, break up at a convenient time.

Here’s what you need to do next…

Ok, so you have the two breakup methods above.

Which one are you going to choose?

Now whichever one you do choose, you HAVE to follow through with it. Otherwise you’re going to have a messy breakup, which is just horrible for everyone involved.

Let me end by saying, good luck and don’t be a bitch. Get it done.

Did you recently break up with your girlfriend? Let me know how it went.

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