How To Start A Conversation With A Girl The Right Way

When you're interested in dating and finding someone to be in a relationship with, one of the first steps you have to take is learning how to start a conversation with a girl.

You may not know how to break the ice and can feel intimidated by approaching different types of women in new settings.


If you want to learn how to navigate the dating scene and make it easier to land a date, there are a few tips to follow to start a conversation with a girl you meet in-person or on the internet.

How to Start a Conversation with a Girl (Even if you Suck at Small Talk)

One of the best ways to start talking to a girl is to try and find something you have in common while keeping it casual. Accept the fact that it may be slightly uncomfortable and awkward at first, but it can be easy to continue talking after the first few seconds of approaching her.

Incorporating a bit of humor into the conversation can help you feel less nervous. Make eye contact and avoid talking too much about yourself as you get to know her. If she engages in the conversation and asks you questions about yourself, keep it to the point, and avoid oversharing.

1. Over text

Texting a girl you like can also be difficult if you're unsure of ways to break the ice. Ask an open-ended question that she has to give some detail to and won't just require a yes or no answer. Consider asking her about the best thing that happened to her that day, which can start your interaction off on a positive note.

Probably the easiest way to get things going.

You can also keep it lighthearted by asking her if she got into any trouble today or if she has any plans over the weekend. If you want to ask her out, ask if she likes tacos or coffee. If she talks about some of her favorite places in the area, offer to take her there in the next few days.

Discussing her goals can also allow you to discover if you have things in common. Find topics she's passionate about discussing to ensure you enjoy your conversation and is more likely to take you up on an offer for a date.

Quick Note

Sending her a photo of a beautiful sunset you see can be romantic and sentimental. Avoid sending a picture of yourself unless you're waving and use it as a way to say hello.

2. On Instagram (Sliding into her DM's baby)

Instagram can be less intimidating when it comes to approaching a girl you like. Start by responding to her story to ensure you have a topic that allows you to say hello and start a conversation. According to Sweetly High, consider sending an emoji if you're unsure of what to say. If she responds positively, it's an invitation to consider pursuing her.

Ever slid into someones DM's before?

Try to respond in a way that requires a response to see if she's interested. Ask her about an item in the photo or ask about the location where the photo was taken. Liking old photos she's posted is a subtle way of flirting and showing you're browsing her account and are giving her more attention.

You can also reach out on Instagram by tagging her in a meme that you post. This is a casual way of communicating and staying in contact without coming off too strong. Commenting on one of her photos is another option, but can be trickier. Avoid coming off too flirty and use it as a way to start interacting at a slower pace.

3. On Chat (Messenger, Skype etc)

Starting a conversation on chat is similar to texting and can go at the same pace as text messages. Consider asking how she is and what she's been up to lately. Consider asking about new projects she's working on at work or if she has any plans for upcoming holidays.

Just text her and she'll reply... right??

Keep it casual and avoid responding too quickly to avoid coming off intense. Give her time to respond before you start asking more questions otherwise she'll likely feel like you're too clingy.

You can also ask her about what she likes doing on the weekends. When she provides you with answers, find ways you can relate to make it easier to form a connection. The Modern Man say it's also important to consider the timing of when you reach out to her.

Avoid contacting her late at night when she's headed off to bed or in the middle of her work day when she has less time to respond. Reach out when she's on her lunch break or has just finished dinner.

4. Who Likes You and Makes It Obvious

If you know a girl likes you, then you have a lot more freedom with how you start a conversation because you've already won her over. Whether she thinks you're attractive or enjoys your sense of humor, you don't have to try as hard when striking up a conversation.

If she does like you, it makes the situation much easier!

Consider asking her about some of her interests, which can include discussing her favorite films, music, or even food. It's easier to avoid some types of small talk if you already know she's interested and is more likely to engage.

Asking about her recent travels is another way to have something interesting to talk about. Ask her about her experience in different countries and destinations, and which places she'd like to live in the future.

Quick Note

If you learn that you've both visited the same place, ask her if she's been to certain restaurants or attractions that you've traveled to, which can make it easier to keep the conversation going.

Although it can be easy to feel nervous as you talk to one another, focusing on her instead of yourself can make things more natural. Becoming too conscious of the way you're standing or how your voice sounds can backfire and cause you to come off too awkward.

5. On WhatsApp/Text

Stanford studies show most couples meet online, which is now the most popular way people meet in the U.S.

Connect with her without even lifting a finger. Two thumbs technically :)

It's important to download apps like WhatsApp to discover ways to connect with the person you're interested in and want to date. You can start a conversation on WhatsApp or via text by sending a genuine compliment, which can allow the other person to feel flattered.

  • Additional conversation starters include:
  • Making a reference to a topic she mentioned
  • Sending a meme
  • Telling an interesting story about a current event

If you prefer a more friendly and casual approach, let them know you've been thinking about them and include a few emojis to communicate your tone.

Be careful of starting with any jokes or anything too flirty, which can be difficult to discern if they can't hear the tone of your voice. Keeping things natural and light will prevent the other person from feeling too pressured by your advances.

Know when it's time to move on, which is when they take several hours or days to respond to your messages. If they only respond with one word, it's another sign they are likely not interested in continuing the conversation.

How Do You Start A Conversation With a Girl You Don't Know?

It can be more intimidating to approach a stranger you see in a public place, but it's important to learn how to feel more comfortable to ensure you have more chances to meet people.

Start by commenting on a topic that currently relates to both of you, whether it's the food you just ordered or the weather. Try asking a question that requires more than a one-word response to make it easier to talk and allow the conversation to flow naturally.

Quick Note

Avoid starting the conversation on a topic that is controversial or too intense, which includes politics. If you both don't have the same perspective, it can turn them off and cause them to immediately lose interest. can also ask if they work nearby or if they've lived in the area for a long time. Discussing something you both have in common can allow you to get started on the right foot and build the conversation off of a common interest or relatable fact.

While talking in person, make eye contact, and smile to show you're friendly and take a genuine interest in the conversation. Avoid checking up your phone or staring at your watch as they talk, which can show you're distracted.

Conclusion: What to do next

When it comes to approaching girls in public or online, having a plan of action is necessary to ease your nerves and come off comfortable and confident (Or you could just use a pick up line). You can have different platforms and methods of communicating with women to ensure you have more options and don't feel limited by your insecurities.

Once you begin to engage with other women in different ways, it can help you to feel less intimidated navigating the dating scene to ensure you have a better chance of making a connection and finding someone who can be your partner.

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