How Do I Get My Girlfriend To Lose Weight?

You love your girlfriend and you are or were very attracted to her. That's how you entered this relationship in the first place, but something has changed and it's not her personality.

Her weight has noticeably increased and you're concerned for a multitude of reasons. That's to be expected and you're not a jerk for thinking it.


However, you could become a jerk if you don't approach this situation correctly. Most women are pretty sensitive about their bodies and appearance, plus they want to feel sexy and attractive to their men. So, if you bulldoze her with backhanded comments about her figure, it won't get you very far.

It didn't take me long to learn that there's a better way to get my girlfriend to lose weight than to just mention it in casual conversation. There's also no amount of sugar-coating that will help, and making jokes only hardens any underlying resentment or insecurities she may feel. So, I suggest following these three steps instead.

Step 1 - Consider the reason(s) you want her to lose weight.

First up, do some soul searching. Do you want your girlfriend to slim down for personal reasons? Make sure you're not putting any undue pressure on her to become something she's not.

Think about how much you expect her to lose as well. Could your expectations be too unrealistic for someone in her position? Be sensitive.

Here are a few things to mull over in the meantime:

  • How much did she weigh when you first started dating?
  • How much weight has she gained since you met?
  • What caused her weight gain, and was it rapid?
  • Is the weight negatively affecting her life in any way?
  • Does her weight impact her ability to love you?

Your approach to the situation depends on your answers to those questions. So, try to be honest with yourself. It's okay if you want your girlfriend to lose weight for selfish reasons; just be sure to communicate that before encouraging her to change how she looks.


Most girlfriends are more than happy to adjust their appearance to look more attractive to their mates as long as those adjustments aren't too difficult, expensive, time-consuming, or demeaning.

Step 2 - Approach the situation carefully.

Never just come out and say, "I think you should lose weight" unless you want to hurt your girlfriend's feelings. Instead, think about how she got to the weight she is today. Be mindful of any challenges she may have faced on her journey, and consider how she might feel about her current body mass index (BMI). Chances are, she's not happy about it either.

Talk to your girlfriend to figure out the facts and really listen to her responses. If you can, consult her friends, family, and coworkers to get deeper insights into her mind. Pay attention to what she does and doesn't eat on a daily basis, and then encourage better eating habits if you need to. Lead by example to make her feel like she's got a teammate.

Monitor her physical activity too. Try to get her up and moving by inviting her to do fun things together. Remember, exercise doesn't have to feel like a chore. As long as you don't trigger any hidden self-esteem issues and you gently push her to break a sweat, she'll likely enjoy your little excursions together and start inviting you after a while.


People who don't feel comfortable about their weight but can't talk to anyone about it are at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder that may negatively impact their health.

Step 3 - Try these 4 tactics to help your girlfriend lose weight the healthy way.

Your girlfriend shouldn't do this alone nor should she feel discouraged by your thoughts, words, and actions.

Imagine if the tables were turned. Try to treat her the same way you'd want to be treated. Better yet, ask her how she's like to handle the situation until her goals are met. She may want public accountability; she may not.

Either way, advocacy is your duty as the boyfriend who wants his girlfriend to lose weight. You have to remain in her corner even if she hits a weight loss plateau. So, whip out one of these four tactics when you're feeling stuck:

#1. Do some of the homework for her.

Dig up some clever weight loss methods and/or effective diet plans to help her find something that works. No two bodies are the same, so a technique that works for one person might not work for your girlfriend.

Celebrate her uniqueness by discovering a regimen that really makes her tick, and then help her get what she needs to use it.

Quick Tip

Consider techniques such as high-intensity interval training (HIIT), intermittent fasting, and the blood type diet to see fast and healthy results.

#2. Make it all about you and turn her into your coach.

Sometimes, we've got to flip the script. Instead of encouraging our girlfriends to eat right and work out because of our own selfish reasons, we have to think about our own health and invite her along.

Many partners are thrilled to share a sweaty experience with someone they love, especially if it boosts their mood and increases their energy levels.

Quick Tip

Offer little rewards when your girlfriend accompanies you on a workout, such as extra kisses, special date nights, and killer compliments.

#3. Use sex as a fun way to burn more calories.

Did you know that sexual intercourse (and even some types of foreplay) can burn hundreds of calories per hour? The average lovemaking session shreds through 4.2 calories every minute, which gives us men even more of a reason to work on our stamina and encourage our girlfriends to stay fit and trim. Sex helps with headaches too, by the way.

Quick Tip

Try to make your sex life more spontaneous and exciting to get your heart rates racing for at least 30 minutes a day.

#4. Encourage her to see a doctor.

You might just need someone else to be the bearer of bad news this time. If your girlfriend is seriously overweight, a doctor will most likely address that in an office visit.

They'll also be able to put restrictions on your bae that wouldn't be acceptable otherwise, and the results are almost always guaranteed to work.

Quick Tip

Follow the doctor's orders as closely as you can, and try not to discourage your girlfriend by throwing temptation in her face because that can breed resentment.

If you've tried everything and your lover is still overweight, you may have to consider other weight loss options such as gastric bypass surgery. Of course, never settle on something that invasive until after you've both consulted a doctor.

Drop the weight and lose the guilt

Help your girlfriend look better in your eyes and live a healthier life by encouraging her to lose weight the right way. There are no fad diets included and nobody is taking up residency at the gym either.

It's all about mutual respect, understand, support, and making the right choices each day until your weight loss goals are met.

You Might Also Like


You Might Also Like

Speak Your Mind