The Structure of Dance Floor Game

The How and the Why…

Hey guys, last time I spoke about ditching your best dance moves, tricks and tactics in favour of enjoying the music and generating a positive vibe, something that most guys seem to forget the second they enter a nightclub. Just by enjoying yourself regardless of your dancing ability you may have noticed that you were getting much more positive female attention than you may have otherwise; this is due to the relief that girls experience when they are in the presence of a man that is not entirely focussed on finding out the colour of their underwear, and this comfort that is immediately established will cause the women to be drawn away from the wandering hands of other guys and congregate around you. This ability to lose inhibitions on the dance floor is vital, and a prerequisite of what I am going to take you through in this post, without it, although still useful, the structure I teach will not be as effective without the ability to generate this initial comfort, as the IOI’s you receive form the first and most important stage of dance floor game.

Phase 1: Social Proof Steps
Many PUA’s appear to view dance floor game and the rest of club game as separate entities, each with their own rules to follow. I agree with this to a certain extent, largely you should be escalating much more quickly on the dance floor than you might otherwise and talking should be kept at an absolute minimum. However, receiving more positive attention on the dance floor has exactly the same effect as it would in any other social environment, without getting too psychological, it is common knowledge that women take cues regarding male attractiveness from other women, therefore, when women are seen dancing near you, and giving you IOI’s your attractiveness will skyrocket making the rest of the steps that much easier. Additionally, many guys fear beginning the interaction with a girl on the dance floor, and are not quite sure of the best way to get her attention, to start dancing or to escalate from there. All of this is avoided by social proofing the dance floor first, when the girl you want is already looking at you, then those awkward first moments are avoided and you can move to the next step. This step is achieved simply by fully immersing yourself in the music as I stated in my last post, and not focussing on getting one particular girl, it should suit your personality (as an introvert, I prefer to keep it low key) and make sure that you are doing it for enjoyment and in no way seeking approval from anyone else.

Phase 2: Forcing the IOI
When you see the girl you want, and have built up social proof by drawing people in to your positive vibe, getting girls looking at you, with no investment on your part, (it’s not like you’re doing backflips to get attention), all you have to do is select your girl and IMMEDIATELY force an IOI from her, this could be by pointing at her, sticking your tongue out, anything that clearly acknowledges her from all of the other girls dancing close to you. This is important as all of the attention that you have gained is extended to her. Next, with the big smile you have from enjoying your dance floor experience, you hold out your hand for her to take, and all of that attention is now working in your favour to put pressure on the girl to dance with you (rather than pressure to avoid being seen dancing with a low value guy), then spin her in to you, ready for the next step.

Phase 3: Push-Pull
Another PUA term that is used most to describe emotionally distancing yourself from a woman, creating more space to pull her back in; in dance floor game, you can do this physically, by literally pushing her away from you then pulling her closer. This is the key to escalating quickly, when done right, after every time you push her away, when you pull her in you can physically escalate, for example, you are holding one hand at this stage of dance floor game – push away – pull towards and take both hands- push away – pull towards and move one hand to the small of her back – push – pull and move your hands to her waist, and so on, as fast or as slow as you wish to escalate —Disclaimer— Some Calibration Required — the reason this works is best explained looking through the eyes of a woman; almost all of the guys she has danced with have no concept of pushing the girl away, so they keep pulling and pulling, making the girl feel more and more uncomfortable until they take root and remain planted on her waist until she forcefully removes them, after this, she learns that dancing with a guy will inevitably result in uncomfortably pushing them away, however, when you are the one selecting her, and pushing her away, she does not experience that discomfort, and you show that you are not getting off on her getting close to you, that you do not need physical contact from her to validate your existence as a man. With this comes the ability to escalate much faster, without it being a big deal.
The physical push pull is where salsa steps may be useful, however they do not need to be more complicated than a simple spin towards and away from you, and gently pushing and pulling her by her hands, as long as that physical distance is created, the effect will be largely the same.

Phase 4: The close
Now, after you have danced with a girl and been doing your push-pull for a little while, you can choose to use the pre-selection you got from her to force the IOI of another girl (phase 2) and move on/bring her in, you could also go back to building your social proof in phase 1, gaining even more momentum, or you may choose to go for a close.
The best part of using push pull on the dance floor to escalate is that it smoothly works towards any of these options, particularly to a close. If you do decide to go for a close, you want to increase eye contact as you do your push pull moves, and you want to gradually increase the length of time she is pulled into you and decrease the distance she is pushed away, making the dance more and more sexual as it progresses. Ideally you will be familiar with the music you are dancing to and you will know exactly when to go for the pull into a close, (a k-close for example) it will be a time where the music cuts out, or has a pronounced beat that emphasises your movement (I will get to this in a later post) but when you go for a close, you want to pull her in closer than you have been, maintain eye contact and gently place your hand on the side of her neck and guide her as you go in for the kiss. It is that simple, again, with calibration; you will know when the best time to do this is. Then, before or after the kiss, you can continue or take her by the hand and take her off the dance floor.

There you have it, a complete structure to dance floor domination. If you want to know how it works then just think about it from a girls point of view: she notices a guy getting loads of attention from other girls ‘out of the corner of her eye’ this popular guy then selects her from all of the girls he could have (typical chick flick formula) and instead of having an uncomfortable grinding marathon, this guy is different, he leads her and constantly is mixing sexual pull towards him with fun spins and other moves (just like the movies) and shows he knows what he is doing by escalating with purpose, then slowly the room fades away as your eyes lock on until it is just the two of you sharing this moment, then the kiss is the icing on the cake.

Go out and give girls the experience they want and let me know how you get on and remember to always show respect for the girls first and foremost.

Stephen :)

P.S. I have tried to be as thorough as possible, but if you have any questions just leave me a comment. For the guys that can’t quite lose themselves in the music, I will try to get some pictures or video of me demonstrating some moves I use for low key social proofing next time.

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  1. What do you usually talk about in the dance floor? And, are you direct verbally in dance floor or indirect? Thank for your posttt!! It’s awesomeeee!!

  2. Hey, great tipps, some new, some I already used, but not always successfully… I constantly tend to have the same problem…. girls go out seldomly alone and it gets extremely difficult to definitely get them out of the group … they always tend at some point to get back to their girlfriend(s), no matter how good things work between us (like they wouldn’t wanna abandon their friends…. unlike men).

  3. I cannot thank you enough for this post!

    I had just come to the realisation the other night that I dont know how to get to a closing point of dancefloor game!

    I used to be a dancer when i was younger, so (I dont want to sound like im up myself, but), i have no trouble busting a move on the dancefloor, and there is no doubt about it that girls love a good dancer (as i would always have girls blatantly obviously grinding themselves against me, but would never know where to take it from there/always pussied out from that point onwards).

    so i have taken detailed notes of your step-by-step guide, and i now feel much more confident about dancefloor game, and absolutely cannot wait till my next chance to go out and put it to practice.

    Again, thank you so much for your help!

  4. Hey James,

    The good news is that Isolating the girl from her friends on the dancefloor can be as simple or as complicated as you want. The bad news is that there is no way I know of to get a girl straight from the dancefloor to the bedroom, thats what I mean by dancefloor game and the rest of club game being part of the same skillset, there is often (but not always) more work to be done once you get the girl off the dance floor.

    The best part about college game is that you can try out all kinds of crazy things with very little consequence, so I would say next time you go out and run in to the isolation/escalation problem, try solving it in the most creative way possible, you will learn that you can get away with a lot more than you think.

    To get you started though; if you are spending any length of time dancing with a girl (building physical rapport) then you should at some point include her friends, even something like a quick spin of a couple of friends shows them that you are not some weirdo that will steal their friend away, but a cool guy just out enjoying himself and building the value of everyone around him, 90% of the time this will get you a level of acceptance from her peer group, making isolation much much easier.

    As for getting to girl to leave her friends on the dancefloor to go somewhere with you, have you considered just extracting the whole group? It’s a great value builder to walk on to the floor and leave with, not just one, but a group of girls 2 minutes later. Then you can escalate from there (having already built physical rapport).

  5. Hey wonderful post!

    I was just wondering what advice you have on getting the girl from the dancefloor to the bedroom. I'm in college, so i k-close A LOT but it rarely ever goes any further. This is mostly because it's so loud that I can't build very good rapport, and I can't isolate because she does not trust me enough to abandon her friend on the dancefloor, even though we just made out! Any tips for getting from the dancefloor to the bedroom with friends, cockblocks, and other factors in mind?

  6. Hi Rick, thanks for your post.

    When I first started dance, I tried learning the popping and waving moves you see in mainstream dance films, but at that time I lacked the experience and the coordination to do it well. I started off with break-dancing as the basic toprock (standing moves) are easy to learn and go along with most of the hip hop music you hear in the clubs, and most of those basic steps I still use today. Check out my video post on this blog for some easy steps, or you can youtube toprock tutorial for more steps.

    Really you only need three or four moves that you can do on beat to stand out from most of the guys with less than perfect timing. Just get confident with a couple of steps and then have fun with the music, you will be surprised at how intuitive dancing is.

    Any other questions, just ask, and let me know how you get on

    Stephen :)

  7. I like the post you put and could see your the real deal since i read bang and adam lyons does the same steps its just its just i dont know exactly how to go about it. Well i know to not approach from back ever since every guy does that and its creepy lol. So approach from front be a good dancer, not pro but pretty decent and once you get them the push pull and through experience youll get the timing right for the k closes but my question is what kind of dance moves do you learn and how to use them properly? For example i think hiphop moves would be good since thats the type of music they play but i don tthinks its neccesary to know lots and lots of moves but a few and just be good at them is that good?

  8. Hi Andreas, great to hear you doing so well and thank you for the compliment.

    It seems that you had a natural flair for dance floor game, and knowing what the steps are will simply serve to give you more consistent results.

    This probably works best at college as social acceptance and being seen as part of the 'cool' group take priority over all else for the majority of students, so good social proofing will make you unstoppable :)

    Be sure to keep me updated

    Stephen :)

  9. after reading this, I realized that I had done everything you explained and closed, without ever saying a word to the girl lol, and right after the k-close, her friend came up to me, started dancing with me, and then I continued to k-close her as well within about 20 minutes. It's awesome to know the steps in this and realize what I did and what i could have done better at the time. I don't go back to college for another month, but when I go downtown to the clubs again, I will definitely post my results and I'm sure I'll have questions for you! Genius post!

  10. Hey Coolers, congratulations on your dance floor success, it seems to be working great for you. You kind of answered your own question about what to to with the hotter girls, the higher your value, the more interest you will get from the more attractive girls. Pre-selection is one way of boosting your value (when the less attractive girls want to dance with you, the hotter girls will notice).

    AFC Adam made a great discovery though, if you show too much interest in a girl of a certain attractiveness it will be much more difficult to attract more attractive ones. Your value is essentially demonstrated by the ‘calibre’ of girls you’re with at any time.

    You saw this in action when the girls that practically handed themselves to you increased in attractiveness, as you did not ‘settle’ on any particular one.

    So, value is the all important factor, having all the interest in your direction without giving much in return will raise your value, and this will get the more attractive girls to give you more IOI’s (but often they are too proud to open you so you will have to force the IOI from them)

    As for the push-pull issue you were having, the key factor of push pull is that it allows you to escalate much more quickly, in fact it’s perfectly acceptable to physically escalate on every pull, (one hand-two hands-lower back-waist-stomach-wherever you want to go!) This is also important to keep the dominant frame where you are leading and smoothly ramping up the tension. So try escalating a little quicker and holding eye contact for longer and see if the girls remain interested for longer. It’s just a matter of experience and calibration.

    I hope this helps, get back to me with how it goes :)

    Stephen :)

    Oh, and girls opening me on the dance floor freaked me out the first time too, you will enjoy getting used to it I’m sure ;)

  11. Hi Stephen
    Thanks for the advice, I’ve definitely had mixed results on this stuff, more down to me wimping out than anything tbh. The social proofing with the dancing is definitely working, as one day a week or two ago when I was out with my friend, a group of three girls came and danced next to us, then each one in turn (and in order from less hot to hottest haha) came over to me and pretty much presented themselves for me to dance with, ie, backed into me and pretty much offered their hips for me to take which I find quite funny now. At the time however I was so surprised by it, and kinda intimidated by how hot they were to tell the truth so I sorta wimped out.
    I also tried the push and pull with the dancing, with mixed results as well. It seems to work very well the first time I push a girl away, and afterwards when I bring them back they seem to make even more effort, but the next time I push them away, they usually seem to lose interest and move on. Any advice in this area?

    The trouble with my normal club environment here is that it is very busy usually (it is our student union), so it is quite hard to force the IOIs, and because there are so many guys the hotter girls can literally take their pick. That being said, I can usually pull one or two over with just my dancing, but what would you recommend to do with the hotter girls?


  12. Cheers Man that helps a lot, I will definitely try forcing the IOIs next time I'm out, I think I've been really underestimating how important that is. I'll definitely be doing more of the push and pull as well. I'll see how it goes and get back to you.


  13. Hey Coolers, from the way you have described the situation I would definitely say that it was an IOI. Girls are very aware of their bodies and their surroundings when they are dancing, they will seem to instinctively gravitate towards the more high value guys and actively avoid the low value, creepy, ones.

    They are also very aware of the way they use their body, if she bumps into you once it may be an accident, but if she repeats it, unless the dance floor has nowhere else to go, then it is safe to assume it is no accident.

    Im sure you dance great, but it would likely be the fact that you are having the most fun vibe with your friend that is drawing these girls towards you, no matter how hot they are. And hey, even if it is coincidental, you have 2 options, 1 force the IOI to which she will respond subtley with interest or no interest (much more smooth than trying to grind with her like the last guy she saw) and move on from there, or just assume it was an accident and never know what could have happened.

    Making that choice is what seperates the guys that are great with girls from the ones that wish they were. :)

    You have nothing to lose by forcing that IOI, if you don’t get a positive reaction, just go back to having fun and building your value and try again later :)

    I hope this helps, get back to me when you make that choice ;)

    Stephen :)

  14. Just for a bit of background info, quite often when I'm on the dancefloor with my mate, girls will come and start dancing near us, it's just that this girl was extremely hot and I wouldn't generally have expected her to be interested in me. But then again, maybe my dancing just is that good haha ;)


  15. Hi Stephen, I've got something I was wondering about since last time I was out, basically I was on the dancefloor doing my thing (haha) and this group of girls near me moved closer to me (I'm not sure whether they were just moving or actually trying to get closer to me)but anyway, this girl with her back to me kept bumping into me, I was just wondering if that is an IOI or an accident? If you could give your opinion that would be great.


  16. Hey Tom, great to hear you going out and trying this stuff out, let me know how it worked out for you :)

    Champez, friends with you at a club can be a very grey area, I would say that you are judged largely on the company you keep. If your friends are high value guys/girls that know how to have a great time and be the life of the party, then your value will skyrocket, however if they are the type to root themselves in the darkest corner of the venue with drinks pressed to their chest and not speaking to each other for the entire night, then chances are they will not do much to increase your value and if this is how your nights generally pan out, you might want to find some other friends that you really enjoy being around at these venues. The best way to answer your question is to put yourself in the shoes of a hot girl; with all the social pressures she experiences such as not being associated with (let alone interacting with) low value guys… would she want to be seen talking to your friends? Could you introduce her to them? But most importantly, are you and your friends having the most fun of everyone in the club?

    With the great social proofing guides out there it is quite easy to (or at least give the illusion of) demonstrate that you have plenty of friends in a venue and avoid committing social suicide (see Adam Lyons for a great definition) but just make sure that if you bring your mates, that they are adding value to your night and you should be golden! If not, it is very easy to find some that will, it will take you 10 seconds to find the most fun people, go and befriend them and you are all set.

    I hope that clears things up for you. If I missed anything just drop me another comment here :)

    Stephen :)

  17. Hi Stephen,

    I just have one question.How important is it or not to have your mates with you in a club?
    Does this increase your value or not?


  18. Thank you Stephen for your advice. I really appreciate it.
    I might go out tonight and then I'll be trying to force IOIs and P&P.

    Thomas ;)

  19. Hey Tom, you are right, on the dancefloor there is very little time to be thinking, particularly if you are in sync with the vibe of the music. However it is good that you are aware of your surroundings. Now, every scenario is different, depending on your’s and the girls energy levels, the type of music, your dance floor social proof and the type of girls that you are approaching to name but a few. I think you answered your own question with your interpretation of what the girls were telling you, you could simply gently bump into the girl you wanted, (or the most interested if you want the easy way out) and then force the IOI, and follow the rest of the structure, or to increase you social proof you could spin all of the girls in the group with you in the center, depending on what your goal is.

    The second scenario could follow the same structure with the bump to force the IOI, or simply spin the 2nd girl that should be facing you, move between them and take the hand of the interested girl.
    As long as you get the attention of the girl you want, with enough interest, and move to the push pull phase, then how you do it is largely determined by your own creativity.

    I hope this helps

    Stephen :)

  20. Hi Stephen,
    I look forward to your how to video about push & pull and the dance moves.
    I don’t quite understand the following situation: The dancefloor is not really packed and there is a set of 4 girls and one girl is dancing with her ass to my direction for 1 or two minutes. I move from the left side of the dancefloor to the right side to see whether she follows me and the whole set follows me and again the same girl is dancing with her ass in my direction and the other girls are looking at me as to say approach me!!! ;) My question is how should I have enter the set? Should I enter with a high energy level, dance and spin all of them once around and then put forth my hand with a smile?

    Secondly I realized that there are a lot of two women sets who are dancing near me and they are constantly talking (I’m sometimes able to overhear their conversations as I’m wearing ear plugs) they say things like oh he is looking… and then they say oh the guy over there is hot and they move on and dance near him to be visible. How should I approach a 2 set on the dancefloor and is the girl which is dancing with her back to me interested in me?

    I know I sound way to theoretical and I need to get out in the field more and practice. ;)

  21. Hey Darius, I appreciate the complement. :) I believe Gambler devotes about a page of his book to forcing IOI’s, and there are a couple of blogs dedicated to it; it is essentially an action that forces some kind of acknowledgement from the girl, it can be something like raising your glass, pointing at her or simply a subtle smile in some cases. I use it on the dance floor more to show that she is the one I have chosen as well as gauging her receptivity to an approach. I hope that is a little more in depth for you. :)

    James, alot of the clubs that I visit also get rammed full of people trying to make their way on to the dancefloor, and the thing i love about the social proof dance steps I use is that they can be made to take up more space getting people to give you a little more elbow room. When you dont have alot of space with the girl, try rotating every so often at the same time as doing the push pull, kind of like the two of you are dancing on a turntable, it gives the illusion of more distance between the two of you during the push, and people are also more likely to move out of the way without pushing back if you bump into them sideways as opposed to backing into them. If all else fails, just remember the dancefloor is anywhere you want to dance, pick a less crowded place in the club and bust a move there :). Let me know if it works for you. :D

  22. All the clubs around me have tiny dancefloors packed with a lot of people. There's barely enough room to dance, let alone push.
    Any ideas?

  23. Very good tutorial! You can really read out that you have A LOT of experience when it comes to this! Respect. The only thing I want to read more about is forcing IOIs, since I'm not so familiar with this concept.

  24. Thanks for the kind comments guys. Andy, I will film a little push-pull tutorial as soon as possible for you, for now, any move that brings the girl towards you and away from you will have the effect, no matter how simple it is :)

  25. awesome man, a video demo of with how you are push-pulling would be a great visual aid to help understand it

  26. Really nice post, keep them going Mr. Stephen! u took more tha a week since the last one. Looking forward for those videos that u mentioned.

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