Why Do Girls Ghost Guys?

You have an online crush, and you may have met for a date or two. You think things are going well, and suddenly, she cuts off communication without an explanation.

If your girlfriend is not responding to you or blocks you from her social media, she may have ghosted you. You may feel confused, helpless, and at a loss as to why she won't communicate with you anymore.


Girls ghost guys because it's convenient, and she does not have to face your reaction to her decision to move on.

She may have met another guy or decided that she is no longer attracted to you. Worst case scenario, you may have sent the incorrect signals and frightened her off by strange or threatening online behavior.

The worst part of ghosting is that she will often never explain why she chose to end the relationship. She may be ghosting you just because it's easier to cut you off than tell you she wants out. If your girl has ghosted you, here are some reasons why and how to deal with being the ghostee.

Why Do Girls Ghost Guys?

Recent research suggests that ghosting has become ubiquitous in the online dating world, with one study of 626 participants showing 88% ghosting/breadcrumbing victims at some time in their past.

With the landscape of communication moving to digital media over face-to-face interaction, ghosting has become undeniably part of our digital dating culture.

In a study conducted by Leah Lefebvre from the University of Alabama and her contemporaries, 99 survey participants from the ages 18-30 (61% Female) reported their experiences of ghosting and performing the act of ghosting on another person. The study found that the most common reasons for a 'ghoster' to terminate communication were as follows.

Ghosting is Convenient

Women may use ghosting as an easier method to end an online relationship than having to explain themselves face to face. Often, a woman will feel bad about telling someone they are no longer interested in them for fear of hurting their feelings or facing negative emotions from their online partners.

Online Attraction

Online media allows a person access to information about a potential partner and enables users to decide whether the relationship is worthwhile pursuing in real life.

Often women will find an online interest less attractive as the initial attraction wanes, and they feel that the person will not be suitable as a potential partner. Study participants suggested that when the interest waned, ghosting was the easiest solution.

Negative Interactions

One of the most common reasons for a woman to ghost an online communication is due to a negative experience in the interaction. Inappropriate commentary or overly sexual commentary is a common reason for a woman to cut off contact entirely.

Quick Note

Women are often hypersensitive to commentary, having more to lose if their partner may be dangerous to meet in person.

Women also react to online behaviors such as sending a barrage of texts at odd hours or not responding to their texts adequately.

They may also ghost a man after their first date if they find that they are not attracted to a man in person. But, again, cutting off communication means avoiding having to explain why they are not attracted to you.

Ghosting and Relationship status

The survey found that participants often used ghosting to disengage from a relationship that had changed status. For example, usually, a platonic interaction that changed into a romantic one prompted ghosting as a means to avoid the difficult conversation of why they were unlikely to pursue a new relationship status.

Ghosting and Safety

Particularly the female participants in the survey used ghosting as a means to ensure personal safety. Overly obsessive communication or 'weird or creepy' behavior prompted immediate ghosting to protect their safety. Participants unanimously supported ghosting as a means to curtail potentially dangerous interactions in real life.

Can Ghosting Cause Harm?

Research has shown that ghosting can have several negative consequences for those on the receiving end. These studies found the amount of emotional harm correlated to the length of the online relationship, the emotional investment, and the extent of the romantic involvement. In addition, victims of ghosting reported less satisfaction with life, more feelings of helplessness and loneliness.

Ghosting can be particularly cruel in that it does not allow the ghostee access to closure, and often, they are left confused as to what they did to suffer rejection. In addition, those on the receiving end of ghosting have a more difficult time processing the breakup experience and moving on psychologically.

What Should I Do if a Girl I Like Ghosts me?

When a girl ghosts you, nine times out of ten, you will want to reach out to her online or through text (if these options are still available to you.) However, this is not a good idea. If a girl does not have the decency to explain why she no longer wants to communicate with you, you will have little to gain from continued communication.

When someone breaks off communication without cause or warning, they are sending a clear signal that they are no longer interested in you, and as hard as it may seem, you should try and move on.

But, unfortunately, reaching out to your ghoster typically won't change her mind. Besides, a person who can be so cavalier with your feelings is not a person you should choose for an open and trusting relationship.

However, should you decide to engage with your ghoster, remember these essential rules:

  • Never send angry or threatening messages, as this will only justify her behavior in ghosting you in the first place
  • Never beg for them to re-engage with you on a romantic level or repeatedly ask for another chance
  • Calmly send a message that explains how her actions made you feel and explain how hurtful her lack of communication and explanation was
  • Even if you receive no response, you should let her know how her behavior affects people, and perhaps you will spare the next guy she decides to ghost
  • By explaining yourself in a non-judgemental manner and drawing attention to the consequences of her behavior, you may also eliminate the unlikely possibility that something drastic in her life has prevented her from responding to you.

How Do I Get Over a Girl Who Ghosted me?

If it was only a short fling, bouncing back from rejection shouldn't be too hard. First, console yourself that you didn't engage too deeply with a girl who exhibits a lack of respect and empathy for other people. If your online romance were a lengthy one or dating in person, you would likely suffer more emotional turmoil over being ghosted.

  • Take time to allow yourself to heal, and remind yourself that a person who does not respect or value your feelings is not someone who should be part of your life
  • Do something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled and keep yourself busy
  • Ghost your ghost back and learn from your experience. When you are ready. Get back into the dating game; there are better women out there for you than someone who rejects you without even the courtesy of an explanation.


If your girl has ghosted you, you may never know the exact reason why she might have cut off ties. However, if you have behaved like a gentleman and you are sure that your behavior has not frightened your online crush, then her online silence is message enough that she is no longer interested in you.

Don't blame yourself. Some people are cowards, and you can't change how people behave. Instead, be grateful that she showed her true colors before you became more deeply involved and put your efforts into finding a girl who respects and values your feelings.

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