How To Beat Depression Naturally: 10 Real Ways For A Man To Be Much Happier

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A lot of guys who are bad with girls are depressed. Being depressed is definitely going to mess up your chances with women, and not getting women is often a cause of depression. It’s a vicious circle.

When I was 13 all the way through to the time I kissed my first girl at 21, I was depressed a lot of the time. I felt bad about my looks, I was unpopular and bullied, and I thought I’d never be able to find a girlfriend. Schools sent me to psychologists and my mum worried about me.

beat-depression-naturally

Use these 10 steps to cure your depression, just like I did.

Most people will only take action when the pain becomes acute enough. For me, it was a question of “no fucking way am I living the rest of my life like this” and I took action.

Do what it takes for you to get to that point, whether it’s imagining the rest of your life continuing as it is or imagining what you could have if you could make the changes that you know are possible.

depression-1

Ladies man.

These days my mood is very even and definitely with a positive slant. It takes a lot to put me down and all the people around me would call me a positive and happy person. So what changed?

And how can you make yourself happier? If you read about depression, articles will recommend sleep, exercise and nutrition. I’m going to ignore these things and focus on making changes to your actual life and how you feel about yourself. Let’s get to it:

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Boss on the red carpet.

Remove bad associations

Your current situation is associated in your mind with your surroundings and the people that you know. If you have had a negative mental state for a number of years, those feelings are well and truly associated with everything around you. You need to make radical changes. If you can move house, throw out old clothes and objects and make as many changes as possible, it will be a positive step.

You should also make big changes to your appearance. A new hair style and a new fashion direction will get you feeling differently about yourself.

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Future player right here.

I changed all of those things and also moved to another city. It was the only way to make a complete change for the better.

Always have a plan

Having something to look forward to in life is a nice stabilizer. Even if it is a few months in the future, a holiday to a place you have never been or the start of a course you have signed up for is a nice event on the horizon.

This can also serve as a further catalyst to get in shape, and learn things. What is something you can book now that you can look forward to doing a few months from now?

Get some new friends

To many single guys focus purely on getting a girlfriend. They might not be ready for that. Remember this: Your family loves you unconditionally. Their approval and positive words therefore probably don’t do much to convince you.

Much more real is what you hear from strangers. If you bring new people into your life and they call you and want to spend time with you, and compliment you, then you have this external validation that gives us that belief that we are a good person and have some value in the world.

Be as sociable as you can, talk to everyone, and put yourself out there. If you haven’t tried daygame, night game, speed dating, dance classes, and yoga class in the next 30 days, then you aren’t on schedule.

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Tut tut Drake… you’re WRONG!

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I like girls…. girls…. girls…. girls…. girls I do adore.

Learn things

You should always be reading books, listening to audio books, attending courses, and trying new things. This will generate positive experiences, open new worlds, become subjects for conversations, introduce you to new people, and give you a sense of a achievement and progress. You always need progress in some area of your life to feel good about yourself.

If things are standing still or going backwards, it’s a recipe for unhappiness. I always say yes to trying new things, and ask my friends to help me plan interesting activities that we can all try. When I wanted to be better with women, even learning some stuff and writing it down gave me hope and made me feel a little better.

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Just getting my activity game on son.

Achieve

We should always have goals that we are trying to achieve, whether it is losing x amount of fat, or being able to have a conversation in a foreign language, or being able to land a punch finally on your boxing coach during sparring. They should all exist at the same time.

Life is full of ups and downs, and if we focus on one particular goal – making money, or getting a girlfriend for example, then our emotions solely depend on the current state of that area of our life. By having multiple goals, we can always shift focus to other things when on area is in a slump.

This was extremely important for me during the many setbacks I had going from virgin to great with women, and from a business with a huge debt to one that was quite successful.

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Just taking kicking ass and taking names right here.

Read books

Books are very important for changing your thought processes and changing your mood. From traditional self help and motivational books like Tony Robbins, to tools like NLP and self-hypnosis, to philosophy and Buddhism like Alan Watts, to motivational tales like biographies of famous businessmen or sportsmen, you can gain a lot from books.

Use a kindle so you don’t get distracted and check your messages every few minutes, and listen to audio books when you are driving or walking or laying in the bath. Finally you get a sense of achievement from finishing books and that helps too. I was reading two books a week when I was trying to turn my life around.

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Bookworm yo!

Write a Different Kind of Diary

Every few weeks, write down some notes about what is happening in your life focused on what you are doing, any plans or successes that you have. It can just be a few sentences every few weeks.

This means that when you suffer a setback, you can come back to this and see the progress you made, remembering where you were in the weeks and months before and seeing how far you have come.

Deal with Setbacks correctly

I am not going to tell you not to feel bad when something shitty happens. You can and should, but you also need to be constructive about it. Ask yourself these questions – “Why did it happen” and “what do I need to do next time so that that doesn’t happen”.

As soon as I started doing that with girls or with business, the knocks didn’t hurt me so much and I bounced back stronger every time.

Help Other People

Doing charity work is quite an interesting topic, do we really do it for others, or do we do it to make ourselves feel better? In this case it doesn’t actually matter.

When you help people less fortunate, it gives your life some meaning – you are helping and making the world a slightly better place, secondly you see that your reasons for being depressed are bullshit when you compare yourself to other people who are really suffering or in trouble. Google “volunteer work in..” and the place where you live to find something you can do right now!

Get positive feedback from girls

Finally, the most important thing for helping our mood, is positive feedback from women. When I was 21 and hadn’t kissed a girl, it was positive feedback for me even when a girl would stay and listen to me. When I got my first number, when a girl laughed at one of my jokes, when she met me for a date. All of this was positive feedback that I had something good about me.

Of course over a number of months, you should start to get women who want to spend time with you, who compliment you, and who want a relationship with you. All of this proves that you are a good guy, and have some value in the world. You’ll gain confidence and self-respect, and in turn your results will get better and better once that confidence shows in your attitude and behaviour.

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Hanging on EVERY word.

That’s it guys, you don’t need 10 years of psychiatry, or to tell someone all of your problems or the reasons why you aren’t as happy as you could be. The past and the reasons are not going to help you. The main thing is making positive steps in the right direction.

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Comments

  1. I suffer from depression and anxiety. It’s so refreshing to see that so many in the PUA community have or do suffer from this condition. It gives me a sense of belonging and hope.
    The article is excellent and highlights that the condition can inspire us to take action to make changes.
    It’s certainly also true that being non-confident in social settings and with the opposition sex can really negatively impact your state of mind. I know that to be so true because even though I was financially successful, the social isolation from the opposite sex created a very negative state of mind which affected my career.
    Most of us in this community are intelligent people and reading and learning is something we love to do. I have read PUA books and watched videos and gotten better socially. Dated two girls this summer and had great times. I am no where near a smooth PUA operator but the PUA skill set research has helped me. Learning more all the time and this forum is a great place for further development.
    Thanks

  2. You really hit the nail on the head with this blog Rich, what a transformation you have had and a great story and journey to share, all the points you make are extremely accurate and effective as I have also come across these concepts in my own life experiences, particularly having multiple interests and the importance of feeling a sense of achieve on a frequent basis. I definitely feel that having/learning a skill or skills really helps your confidence and completes your life along with having a constant sense of purpose and achievement. It certainly takes a great deal of courage to share your story of depression and now you have ultimately come full circle in using your experience to help others. I wish you all the best and success in the future as you certainly deserve it in your approach to life and helping others. I look forward to hearing more from you and thank you very much for sharing!

  3. Paul Winick says:

    Very nice post Rich. The video was ver honest. Well done.

  4. I really really really really really like that girl in the last photo ! hope to see her more.

    Thanks for the great stuff as per usual Richard !

  5. Thanks Richard, depression can kick your ass. You should come to Montana, USA sometime!

  6. Fernando Sánchez says:

    Hi, my name is Fernando.
    Sorry if my english is not perfect.

    Thank you so much for writting this kind of posts. For me it have been to difficult to beat deppresion because I’m surrounded of really negative persons inclunding part of my family.
    Sometimes I need as a person someone that tells me that I’m doing it right, or feel that ” push ” to keep me trying it! And this post make me feel that!

    Again, thanks you!
    Fernando.

  7. Hi Richard, I really like your content, especially your comments on self development. I am a woman & after learning lots of your content, I upgraded my social life as well – I simply adapted the content that you teach guys & implement it. Can you also write an article on how to deal with anxiety? Thank you!

  8. External validation will only get you so far, Rich, and is purely ego driven. The longevity of solid confidence is a deep rooted belief in your own worth beyond and beneath all the fickle superficial trappings we project, it is the light that powers the projector, formless and intangible….. this is a good place to start, a little from the outside, where things can be easily affected with immediate observable results, but the work to build the foundations of permanent change has to come from within.
    Still lovin your work after all these years.
    All the best.

  9. so…..nice guys (especially nice PUAs) actually dont finish last? Lol. Whoever made that famous saying shouldve said “WEAK guys finish last”

  10. You have done a great job by bettering every aspect of yourself..we should strive for improvement and excellence. Every word you have written speaks for itself.You are an inspiration bro. Thanks .

  11. Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve always struggled with self confidence, and have only ever had one serious girlfriend, although funnily enough I do have a lot of female friends. Many of the things you mention, like reading, setting goals etc, I’ve also started doing, and have seen some improvements. The one area I still struggle with, however, is women. For a long time I just accepted it, but as I get older it really starts to bug me, I feel like a fraud if I’m honest. I just can’t imagine things being any different in that area of my life.

  12. Any recommendations for audio books or books ?

  13. Stanley says:

    Private to me only… I met a girl who is in a long distance relationship but she told me that the relationship is not strong again no talking just nothing.. Recently the girl told me she is developing feelings for me so how can I make her fall for me…I try to get her come to my place but she change her mind last minute… To hang out with me is difficult for cos she is not use to me and very shy and insecure person we only chat but I want more but she is spectical about weather to date me or not..help me out on this thanks!!

  14. Dietrich says:

    Thanks Rich this is the answer I always been looking for and only reconfirms what I wanted in life is truly only arms reach away!!!! Great article! This and the Ralph Smart videos always seem to cheer me up! Great read, I love it!
    Thanks again u da man guy!

  15. Gareth Crawshaw says:

    Hey dude! I am and have been for many years, as it’s come out in Counselling, very, very depressed. I will be honest here and admit that I have made several attempts to end my miserable life, in the last few years. Recently, I’ve found myself thinking more like I used to, before my depression REALLY reared up its vile head and screwed me over for the last decade, at least. I have at least subscribed to your Gambler training but haven’t really been able to keep up with them or able to afford paying for limited availability courses but I want to tell you that your recent video on Depressed Men and the inevitable failure with women/young ladies and probably leave it there coz I’m very nearly 44 so Girls might be a little to Jimmy Saville to mention here!!!, has further inspired me to get this horrible depression dealt with. I have to disagree with you when you say that your parents remarks about how good you are meant little to you because, “…We never believe what our parents say is good”, or very similar. My problems have been … diagnosed … that I DO believe what they tell me and have for MANY, MANY, *MANY* years, since (to my memory) I was around 7. That was that I was always STUPID. That I would turn out to be a FAILURE. The only piece of advice I ever got about relationships was one time going out to meet my first real girlfriend at age 15, my mum just said, as I was just about stepping out of my house, “Be careful!”. That was it. No “because…” or even feeling like I could ask why?. I WAS reasonably good around sexy females but now, despite feeling a whole lot better about myself lately, I’m still petrified to approach, even in your suggested ways to without scaring them off, ANY woman because “I ‘know'”, I’ll fuck it all up …… again.

    Your video has given me hope but I also wanted to ask if there’s any advice you can share, giveny limited funds ….. which is just another set back when it comes to even thinking of approaching!!! You just DON’T ask a girl out then tell her she’ll have to pay!!! But, I’m on the very highest of DWP sick pay as I am currently unable to work due to my suicidal depression. Any help, dude? Gareth Crawshaw.

  16. NotSoIrrelevant says:

    Ty I suffer from massive manic and depressive states. Today I turned 35 in the last year lost job place and realized my associates were garbage and the few that were not I lost them…. At a new beginning and hasn’t been easy. But this was probably the best bd gift I could have received. Ty again and wish me luck on putting it into play.

  17. Been having some personal setbacks lately and this was the inspiration I needed. Much appreciated!

  18. Hi
    I am 44, I read many material from Dangelo, Style, Mistery… and you are one of the best.
    You know why? Because you keep the things simple, easy to understand and easy to achive.
    Thanks from all I learn from you.

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