Why Does My Girlfriend Think I’m Cheating?

Studies suggest that about 20% of all married couples will experience infidelity at some point in their relationship. Meanwhile, that number jumps up to 70% for unmarried couples living in the modern world.

So, it's no wonder why some people get suspicious of their partner's faithfulness. After all, there's a lot of temptation calling our names.


However, accusations and paranoia can get old when you have to deal with them all the time. That's especially true if you're an honest partner who's not actually cheating.

I suffered through the same thing myself until I figured out why my girlfriend was assuming the worst. As it turns out, I had more control over the situation than I thought.

Why does my girlfriend think I'm cheating?

My girlfriend thinks I'm a cheater because I didn't validate her needs. She thinks I'm unfaithful because there's more than one way to let her down.

She assumes I don't commit because I tell her that every day as I forget about the small things and make nothing out of the big ones. I'm a cheater in her mind because I'm not emotionally available.

It used to be cool to be casual, but now I prefer to keep it real with my girlfriend and reap the benefits of a stronger bond. The sex is better, the conversations are more interesting, and I don't have to hear accusations every time I leave or say the wrong thing. We understand one another in an intimate way, but first, we had to establish trust.

Trust requires two people who are determined to make one another feel their best, even if that's sometimes inconvenient. It's crucial regardless of whether it throws you outside of your comfort zone or not. Girlfriends always watch for the signs of infidelity because they're so easy to spot, and many men are far too happy to play the villain.

Did You Know?

Nearly 20% of all married men in America admit to having an extramarital affair, while only 13% of women report the same thing. Let's represent ourselves better, guys.

The 7 most common signs of cheating

Still not sure why your girlfriend thinks you're cheating on her with someone else? Even nice guys finish last sometimes, so learn the 7 most common signs of infidelity and then adjust your behaviors accordingly to set the record straight:

#1. You've been working on your appearance.

Your girlfriend may become suspicious of infidelity if you start changing too many things about the way you look. New hairstyles, clothing choices, and colognes can throw the wrong signal.

So, if you're going to alter your appearance, ask your girlfriend to help with some suggestions. It will make her feel special and you'll look like a snack to her in the end.

#2. You're doing some new stuff in bed.

It's okay to try new things in the bedroom, but being too adventurous without talking first may be counterproductive. She'll wonder where you learned all these new tricks, and it may breed resentment over time.

Resentment may cause a slower sex life, which is another sign of cheating. So, don't let the vicious cycle take over your relationship.

#3. You act secretive when you're on the phone.

If there's nothing to hide, then you shouldn't be acting like there is. Your phone is your personal property, but your girlfriend wants to share some of the laughs and be in on the stories. So, I like to keep a general rule in my house: If I can't do it, say it, or look at it with my girlfriend right next to me, I don't need it (usually).

#4. Your social media accounts are too flirty.

Social media is designed for lighthearted fun and keeping up with the people you know, but sometimes we can get a bit too relaxed on a public forum.

We give the wrong ideas about our love lives to our audiences, and that can bring trouble. So, if you're being too flirty on your posts, comments, and likes, it may not end well for your relationship.

#5. You ghost your girlfriend a lot.

It's not cool to hit the hater button on your girlfriend, so pick up the phone or text back as soon as possible. Going rogue for long periods at a time may be your typical way of life as a single man, but you're not single anymore. You shouldn't ask a woman to care about you and then make her worry for no reason. Be accountable instead.

#6. You've recently changed your routine.

Life is unpredictable and things are always changing. But when you stop/start doing new things out of nowhere with little explanation, people can't help but make up their assumptions about what's going on.

So, if this kind of behavior gets combined with any of the others on this list, your girlfriend will most likely assume you're cheating on her.

#7. You spend money on new or undisclosed things.

It's great when you have extra money to spend and planning a surprise for your girlfriend is sweet, but don't blow through your stash too fast or people will start asking questions.

Where did you get this cash? How are you using it? Why isn't it being used in our relationship? Meanwhile, you might not be able to answer everything she asks.

Keep in mind that none of these things means you're actually cheating, it's just that you may or may not be giving off the cheating vibe by doing them. So, talk to your girlfriend about acceptable boundaries and ask how you can earn more of her trust.

How to talk about cheating and suspicion in your relationship

Here's how I addressed the problem when the time came:

  • I gently brought up my girlfriend's concerns and accusations.
  • I offered insight and information on the things she questioned.
  • We talked about new ways of doing things to compromise.

When all else failed, we got couple's counseling from a licensed professional to help us establish a more trusting bond.

The takeaway

My girlfriend thought I was cheating on her but I was being faithful. Then I realized it was because of my otherwise innocent behaviors, so I adjusted my approach and her suspicions are gone.

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